Naswar Corner

[Hyperion]

Jokes about women are the last thing you'll be worrying about.

Women are inconsequential! Unless a woman BEGS to sleep with you, she is not worth it..... in the game!

 

[Armstrong]

Dude, let me be blunt here... Chartered accountants are moron dumb *****.... they don't even know how to do creative tax accounting.... they are "lakeer kay faqeer"... think about it like this, even after seeing all those numbers, confidential reports, why can't they themselves set up those businesses and succeed spectacularly? Why, because they don't have the capacity to take risks, they can quantify risk, however, can't actually make up their minds...

Show me one of those real audit reports, show me the vendor and sales volume.... I'll take that business out of work in a years time.... because I know how to manipulate space and time..

Look, stay there and learn everything you'll ever need to learn... and then come to Finance where the grass is greener and you'll get acquainted to crazy people such as myself!

Thats more true than you even you can imagine. My mamoo, who did his articles from E&Y & then worked for Apple, GE & later started a business of his own dissuaded me into going for Chartered Accountancy in the strongest words possible & if I remember them correctly they were something along the lines of - Its excruciatingly monotonous & your creativity gets stifled beyond repair - Don't go for it ! The moron I was *I am*, I took the plunge.

 

[RazPaK]

Women are inconsequential! Unless a woman BEGS to sleep with you, she is not worth it..... in the game!

Then there are the honey traps.

I keep them at an arm's distance.

 

[Hyperion]

Then there are the honey traps.

I keep them at an arm's distance.

I always eat the honey, and leave the wax!

 

[Ticker]

Try thinking along the lines of what I'm talking about - These aren't your average jokes I'm talking about ! And besides doing that in the privacy of your office with your best buds is one thing but it being a part of the corporate culture is something completely different & depressing. And its not even about the jokes so much as it is about the 'person' cracking them - When they talk about Politics, when they talk about Social Issues, when they talk about Current Affairs & God help me when they talk about Religion - Well foOk me, I ain't an intellectually gifted person but they practically come across as being moronic. And to think of the way they carry themselves - Try to picture the CFO of a fortune 500 company & then try picturing one of ours - Even the so-called 'groomed ones' aren't that impressive.

I'm not being an arse here...I know where I stand - No where. And I do know how fallible & flawed I am - Beyond Comprehension but at the same time I'm not a Business Leader & I'm certainly not representing the so-called Corporate Elite of Pakistan. They are - Why don't they act as such ? Why don't they live up to that 'tag' ?

You guys are a different breed which is emerging. It is very difficult for the oldies to understand people like you. Even difficult to exercise a measure of control on people like you. But they are on their way out. You will have the last hurrah. Relax and learn from even their lows which you may not like to replicate. This is a learning phase. When female members join in such places, things automatically start improving. I have seen it happening. Those who can not adjust have to make way for the better ones and it has already started happening.

 

[laiqs@mi]

aik cheez jo main 4,5 saal kam k doran seekha .....
shayad ap k kam aa jaye.
ap jitna bhe parh lo jitna bhe seekh lo practical main aaty he sab kuch badal jata hai.
practical bohot change hota hai. aur merey khayal main jo bhe practical main apny hosh kabo main rakhy wohi kam kar jata hai.

 

[RazPaK]

I always eat the honey, and leave the wax!

Touché.

Hyperion, you are a more interesting man than the Chaudry first thought.

 

[Armstrong]

You guys are a different breed which is emerging. It is very difficult for the oldies to understand people like you. Even difficult to exercise a measure of control on people like you. But they are on their way out. You will have the last hurrah. Relax and learn from even their lows which you may not like to replicate. This is a learning phase. When female members join in such places, things automatically start improving. I have seen it happening. Those who can not adjust have to make way for the better ones and it has already started happening.

What exactly do you do Ticker ?

 

[laiqs@mi]

I'm not being an arse here...I know where I stand - No where. And I do know how fallible & flawed I am - Beyond Comprehension but at the same time I'm not a Business Leader & I'm certainly not representing the so-called Corporate Elite of Pakistan. They are - Why don't they act as such ? Why don't they live up to that 'tag' ?

Bro aik quote jo bar wakt yad ai (pehli dafa)

"You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
MURPHY'S LAWS FOR SEX"

merey bhai bohot se chezen ap ko wakt sikhata hai sirf wakt k sath chalty rahy. aur apna aj ka kam pora aur dil say kejye bas.

 

[S.U.R.B.]

Lo ge suno phir.....

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=292887557482259

 

[Hyperion]

Thats more true than you even you can imagine. My mamoo, who did his articles from E&Y & then worked for Apple, GE & later started a business of his own dissuaded me into going for Chartered Accountancy in the strongest words possible & if I remember them correctly they were something along the lines of - Its excruciatingly monotonous & your creativity gets stifled beyond repair - Don't go for it ! The moron I was *I am*, I took the plunge.

Dude, GET THIS BURNED IN YOUR GREY MATTER...

In my brief existence... I have done the following, at different points in my life to make ends meet and make up school fee etc etc etc.... I'm proud of whatever I did... though I am from an uber-rich family, however, due to certain reasons.... I had to be all of the following:

*Barman
*Bartender
*Lecturer
*TA
*Driving Instructor
*Squash Coach
*Computer repairman
*Network Security Auditor
*Bootlegged Software Vendor
*Repaired telecom cell towers
and three dozen more stuff, which I never cared for much....

However, I learned very important lesson(s) from everything I did.... I learned how to deal with people.... what is the real meaning of life... what sells... what doesn't... etc etc

In short NO EXPERIENCE is a BAD experience...

 

[Hyperion]

Touché.

Hyperion, you are a more interesting man than the Chaudry first thought.

Well, I always knew you were very interesting, albeit, a tad bit short on fuse!

 

[Armstrong]

aik cheez jo main 4,5 saal kam k doran seekha .....
shayad ap k kam aa jaye.
ap jitna bhe parh lo jitna bhe seekh lo practical main aaty he sab kuch badal jata hai.
practical bohot change hota hai. aur merey khayal main jo bhe practical main apny hosh kabo main rakhy wohi kam kar jata hai.

Sir jeee yeh tou pehlei dinn hii pataaa chal gaii theee hence my initial anger ! Degree ko saaar par maaarnaa if its a 'Professional Qualification' & yet still not as attuned to the 'practical world' as I would have hoped for.

For example over here...I had to virtually re-learn accounting because they don't even follow the established 'standards' ! Certainly not enough to issue a 'disclaimer of an audit opinion' but enough to give a massive head-ache when trying to understand the system.

But khair...thats part of the learning process but the thing is much of this learning in the context of the wider world is redundant ! For example I'm currently going through expense ledgers for 2012 & 2011 trying to find the reasoning for variances for each 'Accounting Head' & it took me 2 days just to get it half down. There are Auditing Softwares out there who do the same thing with the click of a button - Tou learning ka mein nei achar dalnaa when if I were working for the same firm in London...I wouldn't even be doing this but concentrating on other things.

 

[RazPaK]

Well, I always knew you were very interesting, albeit, a tad bit short on fuse!

I must have been cursed with the temperament of a Pathan.

An important lesson in life is that you must only let off enough information to guarantee your desired outcome. A skill that was difficult for me to master, but has been mastered nonetheless.

I say A to get B.

If you know what I mean.

 

[Hyperion]

I must have been cursed with the temperament of a Pathan.

An important lesson in life is that you must only let off enough information to guarantee your desired outcome. A skill that was difficult for me to master, but has been mastered nonetheless.

I say A to get B.

If you know what I mean.

That is called wisdom, my young friend... It only comes as you grow... which you naturally did..... now the trick is, not to let that enthusiasm die-off completely... master to control it, yet never let it die.... keep it in the background... be aggressive with a mild touch.... play the game of words to annoy, and use financial means to kill the competition.. once you get there.. give me a call.... we will start phase three.