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I am not feeling good [Just had another break down]

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I have had depression for past few years (nearly 3.5 years to be exact) since Aug 2015. I have a flood of thoughts in my head literally 24/7. I have not been able to sleep until 1 or 2 am every night, and sometimes until 4. I remain so tired and exhausted all through out the day from this sleep mess plus the mental strain within me. These thoughts (some good and some bad) can't seem go find a way out of my head after so long. and its around the same theme for years. and these hit me so suddenly multiple times a day. as almost like a day dream but with a lot of pain. I will try my best to describe as much as I can. I get these lumps in my throat, my eyes get teary, many chills get sent down my spin, my stomach feel light and funny, and my heart feels though as someone is scrubbing thrones on it. It seems as I am loosing my nature, my vibrancy, my identity to this sickness. Because of my depression, I have stopped hanging out with most of my friends, i rarely talk to them if ever, I ignore there messages on Snapchat and texts on my number. I only talk to a few buds from school and work, which are okay. I don't want them to know about what i am going through. i don't want anyone to know in real life what I am going through. i want to fix this sh*t myself. I dont want to feel cocky, but the decisions i made 3.5 years ago I REGRET to this day and they still effect me/stay relevant. just to let everyone know, I don't feel lonely. its the opposite. i want to distance myself from the 'vogue' lifestyle. i want to loose all these 100s of contacts/aquitances (in the US) and this extravagant complex living to come onto simple dwelling by myself and a special some one somewhere far away.... It is not easy for me. i keep having depressing thoughts since that date (due to what happened to me then)... and things really havennt in my favor since, other new things coming along the way as well... Just as PAINFUL. nothing to soothe. i look at it at a sum point of view, i have nothing else to do but break down crying.
 
Dewaneh said:
I have had depression for past few years (nearly 3.5 years to be exact) since Aug 2015. I have a flood of thoughts in my head literally 24/7. I have not been able to sleep until 1 or 2 am every night, and sometimes until 4. I remain so tired and exhausted all through out the day from this sleep mess plus the mental strain within me. These thoughts (some good and some bad) can't seem go find a way out of my head after so long. and its around the same theme for years. and these hit me so suddenly multiple times a day. as almost like a day dream but with a lot of pain. I will try my best to describe as much as I can. I get these lumps in my throat, my eyes get teary, many chills get sent down my spin, my stomach feel light and funny, and my heart feels though as someone is scrubbing thrones on it. It seems as I am loosing my nature, my vibrancy, my identity to this sickness. Because of my depression, I have stopped hanging out with most of my friends, i rarely talk to them if ever, I ignore there messages on Snapchat and texts on my number. I only talk to a few buds from school and work, which are okay. I don't want them to know about what i am going through. i don't want anyone to know in real life what I am going through. i want to fix this sh*t myself. I dont want to feel cocky, but the decisions i made 3.5 years ago I REGRET to this day and they still effect me/stay relevant. just to let everyone know, I don't feel lonely. its the opposite. i want to distance myself from the 'vogue' lifestyle. i want to loose all these 100s of contacts/aquitances (in the US) and this extravagant complex living to come onto simple dwelling by myself and a special some one somewhere far away.... It is not easy for me. i keep having depressing thoughts since that date (due to what happened to me then)... and things really havennt in my favor since, other new things coming along the way as well... Just as PAINFUL. nothing to soothe. i look at it at a sum point of view, i have nothing else to do but break down crying.
Click to expand...
I know u said u want to fix this your self but if I would be in your shoes i will Seek discreet professional help asap as its now a few years u are suffering.. hope u get well soon
 
timthumb.jpeg
 
Dewaneh said:
I have had depression for past few years (nearly 3.5 years to be exact) since Aug 2015. I have a flood of thoughts in my head literally 24/7. I have not been able to sleep until 1 or 2 am every night, and sometimes until 4. I remain so tired and exhausted all through out the day from this sleep mess plus the mental strain within me. These thoughts (some good and some bad) can't seem go find a way out of my head after so long. and its around the same theme for years. and these hit me so suddenly multiple times a day. as almost like a day dream but with a lot of pain. I will try my best to describe as much as I can. I get these lumps in my throat, my eyes get teary, many chills get sent down my spin, my stomach feel light and funny, and my heart feels though as someone is scrubbing thrones on it. It seems as I am loosing my nature, my vibrancy, my identity to this sickness. Because of my depression, I have stopped hanging out with most of my friends, i rarely talk to them if ever, I ignore there messages on Snapchat and texts on my number. I only talk to a few buds from school and work, which are okay. I don't want them to know about what i am going through. i don't want anyone to know in real life what I am going through. i want to fix this sh*t myself. I dont want to feel cocky, but the decisions i made 3.5 years ago I REGRET to this day and they still effect me/stay relevant. just to let everyone know, I don't feel lonely. its the opposite. i want to distance myself from the 'vogue' lifestyle. i want to loose all these 100s of contacts/aquitances (in the US) and this extravagant complex living to come onto simple dwelling by myself and a special some one somewhere far away.... It is not easy for me. i keep having depressing thoughts since that date (due to what happened to me then)... and things really havennt in my favor since, other new things coming along the way as well... Just as PAINFUL. nothing to soothe. i look at it at a sum point of view, i have nothing else to do but break down crying.
Click to expand...
Please get some professional help . I'll pray for you bro
 
If you are living extravagantly to maintain show then snap out of it quickly and save money.
If you have not done it go do it. If you have depression too much your testosterone will go down and u can't get it up later life .
If you have visa problem applyh for Canada pr.
It takes a few years to get out if depression and if you take those medicines again you will have male problems.
Best way is to be simple , enjoy the sun and feel secure. Also it helps to write down the issues and feel the negative energy to go out of the body.
 
Dewaneh said:
I have had depression for past few years (nearly 3.5 years to be exact) since Aug 2015. I have a flood of thoughts in my head literally 24/7. I have not been able to sleep until 1 or 2 am every night, and sometimes until 4. I remain so tired and exhausted all through out the day from this sleep mess plus the mental strain within me. These thoughts (some good and some bad) can't seem go find a way out of my head after so long. and its around the same theme for years. and these hit me so suddenly multiple times a day. as almost like a day dream but with a lot of pain. I will try my best to describe as much as I can. I get these lumps in my throat, my eyes get teary, many chills get sent down my spin, my stomach feel light and funny, and my heart feels though as someone is scrubbing thrones on it. It seems as I am loosing my nature, my vibrancy, my identity to this sickness. Because of my depression, I have stopped hanging out with most of my friends, i rarely talk to them if ever, I ignore there messages on Snapchat and texts on my number. I only talk to a few buds from school and work, which are okay. I don't want them to know about what i am going through. i don't want anyone to know in real life what I am going through. i want to fix this sh*t myself. I dont want to feel cocky, but the decisions i made 3.5 years ago I REGRET to this day and they still effect me/stay relevant. just to let everyone know, I don't feel lonely. its the opposite. i want to distance myself from the 'vogue' lifestyle. i want to loose all these 100s of contacts/aquitances (in the US) and this extravagant complex living to come onto simple dwelling by myself and a special some one somewhere far away.... It is not easy for me. i keep having depressing thoughts since that date (due to what happened to me then)... and things really havennt in my favor since, other new things coming along the way as well... Just as PAINFUL. nothing to soothe. i look at it at a sum point of view, i have nothing else to do but break down crying.
Click to expand...

If you had cancer would you try to fix it yourself? Of course not. Mental illness is no different to physical illness. In fact latest research has found that inflamation (the bodies natural reaction against physical illness) can often trigger/increase mental illness. I was listening to a doctor on BBC Radio 4 this week about this subject. Mental illness can even manifest itself in a physical form with people having physical syptoms of illness due to not being mentally well. This is well documented science.

I have members of my extended family and very close friends who suffer from mental illness, depression is a common form. You need to seek professional medical help. Medication will help treat/manage the symptoms - but therapy will help get to the cause to cure it, or build up your skills in managing the illness.

Step 1 - Get help. Medication will help manage symptoms so you can lead a more "normal" life.

Step 2 - Get therapy. More often than not there are reasons for depression, addressing these reasons can help cure it, or reduce it. Therapy is not just about that though. Therapy will help you develop lifestyle changes which will hopefully reduce reliance on medication to manage bouts of depression and the symptoms.

There is no shame in being ill and getting treatment for the illness. Also you are not alone, you are not going through it alone. People all around the world are feeling the same, some you may even know or live near you. It's almost impossible to have a life and not be around someone suffering from mental illness. It's just people don't talk about it.

Prayer will help, so do pray regularly, nobody can offer shifa without the will of Allah, but like I said earlier, nobody would tell a cancer patient to just pray - you need to see a doctor too.
 
@Dewaneh , Sorry to hear about what you are going through.
And my apologies if any of my comments triggered your depression.
(Though, I still think you are a troll)

As for your depression:
- take medication
- Shower daily and take care of your hygiene
- Take some fresh air and Sun Bath daily
- Exercise daily
- Eat healthy food

I hope you beat your depression soon and find a beautiful liberal feminist to spend the rest of your life happily ever after.

Regards
 
Valar. said:
@Dewaneh , Sorry to hear about what you are going through.
And my apologies if any of my comments triggered your depression.
(Though, I still think you are a troll)

As for your depression:
- take medication
- Shower daily and take care of your hygiene
- Take some fresh air and Sun Bath daily
- Exercise daily
- Eat healthy food

I hope you beat your depression soon and find a beautiful liberal feminist to spend the rest of your life happily ever after.

Regards
Click to expand...


I noticed heavy weight lifting, especially if you make it a routine, gives me more energy throughout the day and makes me feel accomplished especially once results manifest.

Low testosterone can generally make males feel depressed and emotional, this is where regular weight training helps, more sleep and better food choices also help raise levels naturally.

If healthy life choices don't help you feel better I would see a doctor and get my mental health checked as well as testosterone levels.

Good luck @Dewaneh, after taking a long break from the gym I started feeling sluggish too. I'm planning on getting back this week and going back into the drone hobby. I'm going to try to build a race drone, it will occupy my time and give me some exitment once I start flying.

 

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