Even you want to do everything to appease the puppet countries like South Korea and Japan, they will still assist Uncle Sam to take you down.
The bottom line is that China cannot breach its national interests by appeasing the puppet countries like South Korea and Japan.
The harsh reality of the current world's geopolitics, even you want to concede and to back down, but your enemy will keep advancing and pushing you into the corner until you were fully destroyed.
There is no real compromising or win-win in this geopolitical world, only the zero-sum game; the winner takes everything, and the loser loses everything.
Back in the 1950s, we were the prey, and the US was the predator. When the predator came after us, do you think we should surrender and accept our fate or just to fight back?
When you understand these things, then you won't truly blame Mao anymore.