An open letter to Pakistani men, from a working class woman

[YeBeWarned]

Sorry lady i only take closed letters

 

[marbella]

im sure you exclusively wear shalwar kameez with waistcoat and jinnah cap too, right?
because if not then why dont you leave pakistan and settle in west....im sure no one will miss your presence.


was it women who were opposing the women protection law? whenever women in pakistan say anything at all they are called western stooges, prostitutes, sluts, bitches and what not. just look at the first reply on this topic, it'll give you a very clear idea of how the pakistani man thinks.

Bahi,a big salute to you for responding war and peace.
People with mentality like you will make Pakistan safer and comfortale for women.

Respect.

 

[abdulbarijan]

Okay so here are the problems I have with this article

-Paints ALL MEN with the same brush, so if I were to only substitute two words in the article i.e. "black man" and "white woman" instead of "man" and "working woman" --- It would be a slam dunk racist article ...

- Paints all women to be perpetual victims however "women are strong enough to deal with you on their own" but somehow "men are destroying lives and futures (of women)" ... Well that had no contradiction whatsoever

-Claims to be a feminist and a strong woman yet literally says that a man zig zagging on a motorcycle in front of her car is the reason why a woman can't become independent

- Back in my early uni days where all the students were new, there used to be a guys group and a girls group and intermixing wasn't on the cards cuz we had just started our university and it was a tad bit awkward. So, in those days, we were working on a project in a group where we had a couple females in the group. So a girl slipped in her number along with a bit of work she was supposed to turn in ... so now I know ... technically thats "harassment" .. atleast as per the lady who wrote this article

- I was once made a fool by a shopkeeper who sold me something for way more then it was supposed to be. Didn't know he was taking my "opportunity" to be a customer the next time around ... but I guess this lady seems to think so

 

[A.P. Richelieu]

such ladies should also take into consideration the statistics of rape all over the world before criticizing their own societies. google it and you will find the incidence of rape is highest in the societies they idealize. couple of weeks ago there was news on bbc regarding the ratio of sexual harassment of the ladies in canadian milatary. if i am not wrong about 30 % military women said that they were sexually harassed at some part in the carriers.


thank God you are not in any decision making position in this country. i dont need to say anything else.

Different countries have different laws for rape,and they vary immensly, so statistics do not tell the truth.
In Sweden, if a husband forces his wife to have sex once a day, that is 365 rapes in the statistics.
Julian Assange started having sex without a condom, with a woman half asleep,
late in the night after the woman told him no condom, no sex. Also counts as rape.

 

[That Guy]

such ladies should also take into consideration the statistics of rape all over the world before criticizing their own societies. google it and you will find the incidence of rape is highest in the societies they idealize. couple of weeks ago there was news on bbc regarding the ratio of sexual harassment of the ladies in canadian milatary. if i am not wrong about 30 % military women said that they were sexually harassed at some part in the carriers.

First of all, nice cherry picking. Second, they live in Pakistan, the rest of the world doesn't and shouldn't concern them. You don't make financial decisions based on what your neighbor makes.

thank God you are not in any decision making position in this country. i dont need to say anything else.

Go ahead and say it, it's not like I can ban you.

 

[Aasimkhan]

Islam orders women to cover their those parts which can attract men, when women don't do that then men start behaving under the influence of hormones, only if we understood islamic teachings were best for us

 

[SMC]

The theme of gender-related double standards is quite rampant in the article. Yet, women are the biggest instigators of gender-related double standards. I think if we start discussing all the anti-male double standards, we'll have too much to talk about. Let me just list several off the top of my head, and most of these are applicable to Pakistan, and most women overtly or covertly endorse these double standards:

1) If a man and woman are married and both have jobs, then the man pays for all the shared expenses and the woman keeps all the money she earns.
2) It's OK for a woman to attack a man but it's wrong for the man to strike her back in retaliation.
3) Women first on buses, trains, and the first to get off of burning ships, cars, trains, etc.
4) Equality for women in STEM fields, executive jobs, government jobs, etc, but no equality for women in construction, sewer cleaning, plumbing, mining, logging, mechanic, etc kind of jobs, i.e. mostly labour jobs. Those jobs are beneath women.
5) It's OK to positively discriminate to favour women when women are behind, but it's not OK to positively discriminate to favour men when they are behind (example - education).
6) Women should get the custody of a child in case of a divorce
7) Women should not have to pay anything to the man in case of a divorce
8) It's wrong to generalize all women as gold diggers, whores, etc, but it's OK to generalize all men as pigs, chauvanists, etc. I.e., it's OK to generalize men in whatever way but wrong to generalize women in any way
9) Female victims of violence should just be "believed" even when there is no evidence to suggest there was any violence.
10) When females attack males, it's always for a good reason. When males attack females, it's always a black and white case where he should not have attacked her.
11) A man doing back-breaking work and making money for his family is doing something that is expected of him and that he is not appreciated for. When a woman works 9-5 in an office, she is "independent", "smart", etc.

These are just a few examples of double standards that women endorse overtly or covertly. And before anyone says "but not all women are like that!!!!!", look at the initial post of this thread and whether or not the author of the article is generalizing.

With respect to feminism meaning equality, women only want equality one way, i.e. equality that benefits them. Whenever equality harms them, they do not want that kind of equality - they want to revert back to traditionalism. This is why I say women are the biggest perpetrators of gender-related double standards. That most women say they want equality, but then turn away from it when it harms them makes it patently clear that they thrive on double standards. And they will always package these double standards in a way such that if you don't support their double standards, then you are not a real man, a loser, sexist (which is quite ironic LOL), can't get a woman and whatnot.

 

[waleed3601]

Wishal Raheel is a feminist, an animal lover and a foodie.

your signature is extremely contradictory to the point you are trying to make. just wanted to point that out.

Islam orders women to cover their those parts which can attract men, when women don't do that then men start behaving under the influence of hormones, only if we understood islamic teachings were best for us

then whats the diff b/n humans and animals? if you have no self control you're no better than a gorilla my friend.

 

[Jf Thunder]

So what exactly did she say that was so wrong and objectionable?

And do we even know what feminism means? Its not some kind of female version of male chauvinism which hums to the tune of 'women are better than men', it holds for equality for both women and men. I'm a feminist too.

high five bro, took the words right out of my mouth

 

[NomanAli89]

This image is linked straight from her facebook page
Weshal Raheel
https://www.facebook.com/WishalR?lst=100013473960439:100001851718772:1481378301

 

[Nalini]

In my opinion, if woman needs to wear moderate clothes & can't wear jeans, T Shirt or western clothes, that is injustice & oppression. If the same applies to men, it's perfect. Men should also wear Salwar Kameez & keep themselves covered. They should not be allowed to wear tight clothes, T shirts, Jeans or public display of their body. If this is practiced, I would say women also need to be covered. If not no man has right to question woman's modesty, they need to question their own corrupted, filthy perverted thoughts of seeing woman

 

[Spring Onion]

Ohhh almost 99% comments here seem to be cherry picking.

Majority of you have picked up only dress code issue here WHILE in my opinion the main theme and issue is women harassment irrespective of dress code or working woman tag.

This is a reality and an ugly one. All kinds of women, including house wives, working ones, students, whether wearing jeans or sleeveless or skirt or even Burqa all of them face the same harassment.

As far as jeans or whatever she mentioned I think it is not a main issue. Girls in Peshawar even wear these now a days and hardly anyone harass them on the basis of just an attire but we face harassment because of our BODY.

The main problem with this writeup is that the lady seems to be from some posh environment hence she thought of some eliteia phobias related points. I read it again and again and found that though what she wanted to say is right and reality but the choice of the words is poor and a poorly structured write-up.

@abdulbarijan

 

[Well.wisher]

Dear sabzi wala ,
Yesterday I was buying some sabzi from you and you gave me a spoiled tamatars just because I'm a woman and I've a soft tone so does that mean you would cheat me ?

Dear gosht wala,

You also gave me a meat that wasn't fresh and was probably two days old . Just because I'm woman and I'm a soft tone so you would cheat me ?
You cheater I can't even go outside now and buy something for kitchen just because of cheaters like you .

 

[Moonlight]

so now I know ... technically thats "harassment" .. atleast as per the lady who wrote this article

Claims to be a feminist and a strong woman yet literally says that a man zig zagging on a motorcycle in front of her car is the reason why a woman can't become independent

And they don't want to wait in queue, women first you know. Morals.

 

[Nalini]

And they don't want to wait in queue, women first you know. Morals.

It's not easy to be a woman. Only when you are a woman you will understand, how difficult it's to be a woman.

Every month a woman has to go through hardships of something called periods for a week.
A woman has to bear the pain of pregnancy for 9 months.
Before being pregnant many woman have to take lot of medication to become pregnant. These medications can make you drowsy & give side effects. There can be many miscarriages & abortions.
A woman loses the body shape after delivery. She has to put up a big fight to get back in shape again.
A man doesn't know the discomfort of breast feeding a child
It's mostly always the woman who sacrifices the sleep to take care of the crying child in the night
It's mostly the woman who plays, feeds & carries the child the whole day.
It's mostly the woman who will clean the poo or pee when the child does it on the floor, bed
It's mostly the woman who washes the butt of the child when it poos
It's the woman who will get the child ready for school with breakfast, food & dressing
A woman is not paid a salary for all the work she does at home. Men claim they do all the hard work & earn. They don't realize if you don't have mother or wife, you have to shell out a lot of money to do the same work.
A housewife's life is like living in a jail, but a man spends most of his time outside. Let a man do the same job of a woman & stay indoors for days & months, they will understand how it feels

If a woman is a working woman, life is more hell for her
She's bossed around by men & looked at with perverted eyes by many of them.
A man mostly thinks only men can be good Managers or leaders, not a woman.
The woman doesn't get any reduction in her household duties if she's working, she starts early in the morning & works & works till late in the night, when men can be partying
After all this a woman is mostly never appreciated. Men find faults in the woman & illtreat her
It's mostly the men who cheat around & is still forgiven, never a woman
If a man is seen alone by ladies in the midnight alone, nothing will happen, but if a woman is seen alone in the midnight you can't expect the same
Men can marry 3-4 woman, women don't have that privilege

It's mostly woman who will be primary school teachers. Men should go & teach primary school to understand how difficult it's to nurture a child.

It's possible to grow a child without a father, but it's not easy to grow a child without a mother.

It's mostly the woman who will sacrifice or compromise in a relation.

It's mostly the woman who will say I love you to a man even after years of living together. A man will have difficulty to show love, forget saying those words.

I can go on & on. If you respect woman you will allow a woman to skip the queue. Queue is impartial for both men & woman in many countries, but it's your modesty & respect for woman to allow them to skip it

Have you noticed, in-spite of all these woman are depicted dark & given black burqa to wear when men wear white. Black stands for doom & White stands for purity & peace.That's a joke