An open letter to Pakistani men, from a working class woman

[Well.wisher]

No big deal we also get judged from women too .
I can't speak for others but I get judged from some of my female teachers for opening hair in my college , a girls college . For applying lipstick. One teacher even insulted me infront of class because I wasn't wearing daupatta on my sweater .

I was in another college , and a teacher called me as 'aunty ' as insult because I had a make up . Vaiiiii. . Boys were also there , : / felt so bad :/ .
While at same time I get respect from male teaches nd no judgements .
So it depends on humans nature . Man can be good man can be bad .

To solve a problem you first need to educate society and best way to do that is by alarming them otherwise they de elop a complacent attitude

Brother our soceity and men aren't that bad as the writer has portrayed . Not every motorcycle wala is like that. Not every man is as that bad , not every women is angel .

 

[Hell hound]

Every month a woman has to go through hardships of something called periods for a week.
A woman has to bear the pain of pregnancy for 9 months.
Before being pregnant many woman have to take lot of medication to become pregnant. These medications can make you drowsy & give side effects. There can be many miscarriages & abortions.
A woman loses the body shape after delivery. She has to put up a big fight to get back in shape again.
A man doesn't know the discomfort of breast feeding a child
It's mostly always the woman who sacrifices the sleep to take care of the crying child in the night
It's mostly the woman who plays, feeds & carries the child the whole day.
It's mostly the woman who will clean the poo or pee when the child does it on the floor, bed
It's mostly the woman who washes the butt of the child when it poos
It's the woman who will get the child ready for school with breakfast, food & dressing
A woman is not paid a salary for all the work she does at home. Men claim they do all the hard work & earn. They don't realize if you don't have mother or wife, you have to shell out a lot of money to do the same work.

i am an equalist/humanist (don't want to be classified as feminist or manist).and i would like to tell you that you are just using your female card here nothing else. all of the above are the relationship problem which you and the guy you are having baby with have to sort out.and for god sake don't blame men for your biology.

 

[Spring Onion]

 

[livingdead]

nothing she said is crazy feminist talk... not sure why people are getting triggered.

 

[Nalini]

i am an equalist (don't want to be classified as feminist or manist).and i would like to tell you that you are just using your female card here nothing else. all of the above are the relationship problem which you and the guy you are having baby with have to sort out.and for god sake don't blame men for your biology.

No female card, it's reality. If a woman doesn't get love from the husband, she may at times be tempted to look elsewhere, though rarely. But men even if they have a caring & loving wife, still they will want to litter & look elsewhere. If a female is found in a relation outside her man, she's depicted as a whoore & insulted, but for a man it's an achievement. They are appreciated by other man

Men will never let go an opportunity of wooing a single woman, be it married or an unmarried woman. Men always treat woman a lower gender to them. Atleast in western world, it's far better. Even in India it's bad, but it's definitely better, atleast we have the right to go out, purse career if we wish. But still it will take a couple of generations for woman to get somewhere near men even in India

 

[Deidara]

A women has a complex of switches. Pressing the right combination is a game unto itself. But the effect of this confusion of switches always lies on the overwhelm-underwhelm spectrum. These kind of articles come from an underwhelmed female mind. Such a mind should be given time to fall back into neutral position. Then the game can be started anew.

 

[war&peace]

That's true

 

[Hell hound]

No female card, it's reality. Men always treat woman a lower gender to them. Atleast in western world, it's far better. Even in India it's bad, but it's definitely better, atleast we have the right to go out if we wish. But still it will take a couple of generations for woman to get somewhere near men even in India

have you ever visited pakistan? it not like saudi arabia where women can't go out without a mehram and a burka. women here roam freely and most of them do it without burka or a guy. in fact i know many women here in pakistan who consume more petrol monthly than their husbands.
coming to the other issues yeah i agree women are still not considered equal here but things are changing rapidly .in 1 or max 2 generations Pakistan will be a changed country

 

[Moonlight]

It's not easy to be a woman. Only when you are a woman you will understand, how difficult it's to be a woman.

Every month a woman has to go through hardships of something called periods for a week.
A woman has to bear the pain of pregnancy for 9 months.
Before being pregnant many woman have to take lot of medication to become pregnant. These medications can make you drowsy & give side effects. There can be many miscarriages & abortions.
A woman loses the body shape after delivery. She has to put up a big fight to get back in shape again.
A man doesn't know the discomfort of breast feeding a child
It's mostly always the woman who sacrifices the sleep to take care of the crying child in the night
It's mostly the woman who plays, feeds & carries the child the whole day.
It's mostly the woman who will clean the poo or pee when the child does it on the floor, bed
It's mostly the woman who washes the butt of the child when it poos
It's the woman who will get the child ready for school with breakfast, food & dressing
A woman is not paid a salary for all the work she does at home. Men claim they do all the hard work & earn. They don't realize if you don't have mother or wife, you have to shell out a lot of money to do the same work.
A housewife's life is like living in a jail, but a man spends most of his time outside. Let a man do the same job of a woman & stay indoors for days & months, they will understand how it feels

If a woman is a working woman, life is more hell for her
She's bossed around by men & looked at with perverted eyes by many of them.
A man mostly thinks only men can be good Managers or leaders, not a woman.
The woman doesn't get any reduction in her household duties if she's working, she starts early in the morning & works & works till late in the night, when men can be partying
After all this a woman is mostly never appreciated. Men find faults in the woman & illtreat her
It's mostly the men who cheat around & is still forgiven, never a woman
If a man is seen alone by ladies in the midnight alone, nothing will happen, but if a woman is seen alone in the midnight you can't expect the same
Men can marry 3-4 woman, women don't have that privilege

It's mostly woman who will be primary school teachers. Men should go & teach primary school to understand how difficult it's to nurture a child.

It's possible to grow a child without a father, but it's not easy to grow a child without a mother.

It's mostly the woman who will sacrifice or compromise in a relation.

It's mostly the woman who will say I love you to a man even after years of living together. A man will have difficulty to show love, forget saying those words.

I can go on & on. If you respect woman you will allow a woman to skip the queue. Queue is impartial for both men & woman in many countries, but it's your modesty & respect for woman to allow them to skip it

Have you noticed, in-spite of all these woman are depicted dark & given black burqa to wear when men wear white. Black stands for doom & White stands for purity & peace.That's a joke

Women desrve the utmost respect. But you are going off the topic, I think. This world is beautiful because of the women. But this thread is mainly about feminism.

No one can deny the role women play in society and in their families.

 

[Nalini]

have you ever visited pakistan? it not like saudi arabia where women can't go out without a mehram and a burka. women here roam freely and most of them do it without burka or a guy. in fact i know many women here in pakistan who consume more petrol monthly than their husbands.
coming to the other issues yeah i agree women are still not considered equal here but things are changing rapidly .in 1 or max 2 generations Pakistan will be a changed country

My dear friend, I have traveled to many countries & we have lot of Muslims in India & I do have a lot of muslim friends. I know how much they wish freedom like others.

I have met Pakistani families abroad. I don't even need to be in Pakistan to know a life of a woman. If you look at literacy, acid attacks, honor killings, rapes, polygamy, employment, business woman, sportswoman, Military representation, Artists, travelers, your leaders you can know a country's culture to an extent. In every field India will fair far higher. Even Muslim woman in India are a little lucky, due to the influence of other cultures around. I am an economist, so my analysis will be based strongly on statistics.

Anyway it's not about Pakistan or India, even here in India we have many such cases, I dont want to make it a India Pakistan debate, but life for a woman is definitely better in India compare to Pakistan. Do you know India has more female religious leaders than other religions. Do you even know in India there are innumerable woman who have more than one husband, who live under one roof together. Can you even imagine this in your country.

 

[abdulbarijan]

It's not easy to be a woman. Only when you are a woman you will understand, how difficult it's to be a woman.

Every month a woman has to go through hardships of something called periods for a week.
A woman has to bear the pain of pregnancy for 9 months.
Before being pregnant many woman have to take lot of medication to become pregnant. These medications can make you drowsy & give side effects. There can be many miscarriages & abortions.
A woman loses the body shape after delivery. She has to put up a big fight to get back in shape again.
A man doesn't know the discomfort of breast feeding a child
It's mostly always the woman who sacrifices the sleep to take care of the crying child in the night
It's mostly the woman who plays, feeds & carries the child the whole day.
It's mostly the woman who will clean the poo or pee when the child does it on the floor, bed
It's mostly the woman who washes the butt of the child when it poos
It's the woman who will get the child ready for school with breakfast, food & dressing
A woman is not paid a salary for all the work she does at home. Men claim they do all the hard work & earn. They don't realize if you don't have mother or wife, you have to shell out a lot of money to do the same work.
A housewife's life is like living in a jail, but a man spends most of his time outside. Let a man do the same job of a woman & stay indoors for days & months, they will understand how it feels

If a woman is a working woman, life is more hell for her
She's bossed around by men & looked at with perverted eyes by many of them.
A man mostly thinks only men can be good Managers or leaders, not a woman.
The woman doesn't get any reduction in her household duties if she's working, she starts early in the morning & works & works till late in the night, when men can be partying
After all this a woman is mostly never appreciated. Men find faults in the woman & illtreat her
It's mostly the men who cheat around & is still forgiven, never a woman
If a man is seen alone by ladies in the midnight alone, nothing will happen, but if a woman is seen alone in the midnight you can't expect the same
Men can marry 3-4 woman, women don't have that privilege

It's mostly woman who will be primary school teachers. Men should go & teach primary school to understand how difficult it's to nurture a child.

It's possible to grow a child without a father, but it's not easy to grow a child without a mother.

It's mostly the woman who will sacrifice or compromise in a relation.

It's mostly the woman who will say I love you to a man even after years of living together. A man will have difficulty to show love, forget saying those words.

I can go on & on. If you respect woman you will allow a woman to skip the queue. Queue is impartial for both men & woman in many countries, but it's your modesty & respect for woman to allow them to skip it

Have you noticed, in-spite of all these woman are depicted dark & given black burqa to wear when men wear white. Black stands for doom & White stands for purity & peace.That's a joke

Oh look ... Someone telling a female how difficult it is to be a female

On a lighter note, have you ever taken a punch or a kick to the ball sack ... Pretty much beats all what you stated

And they don't want to wait in queue, women first you know. Morals.

I kinda have a feeling that this is not just MY favorite topic ... your oddly enthusiastic about this topic for a casual observer/ stalker on the forum

Ohhh almost 99% comments here seem to be cherry picking.

Majority of you have picked up only dress code issue here WHILE in my opinion the main theme and issue is women harassment irrespective of dress code or working woman tag.

This is a reality and an ugly one. All kinds of women, including house wives, working ones, students, whether wearing jeans or sleeveless or skirt or even Burqa all of them face the same harassment.

As far as jeans or whatever she mentioned I think it is not a main issue. Girls in Peshawar even wear these now a days and hardly anyone harass them on the basis of just an attire but we face harassment because of our BODY.

The main problem with this writeup is that the lady seems to be from some posh environment hence she thought of some eliteia phobias related points. I read it again and again and found that though what she wanted to say is right and reality but the choice of the words is poor and a poorly structured write-up.

@abdulbarijan

Agreed when it comes to your perspective on how the writer seems to hail from the elite class and all.

However, there is a bigger problem with this article. It literally says or rather shouts "Pakistani men -- this is because of you" .. So I'm a Pakistani male, I've never catcalled, I've never gotten touchy feely with someone on the streets, I've never harassed anybody, I've never duped anybody, I've never forced anybody to wear a certain attire or not and I've never shamed anybody for their choice of clothing. However, according to this writer I'm guilty of all that stuff even when I haven't done any of it ... why ? ... because I've male genitalia. It's called being "guilty by association" ...

So if the tables were turned and someone wrote an article about how the romance in a marriage is dead because Pakistani women want only one thing i.e. money ... In other words .. Pakistani women are gold diggers ... All of you women/girls and us men/guys would say to the writer ... "Are you out of your freaking mind ... because you can't paint an entire population as being guilty of something which they obviously are not!"

 

[Moonlight]

I kinda have a feeling that this is not just MY favorite topic ... your oddly enthusiastic about this topic for a casual observer/ stalker on the forum

That is. I see you everywhere when similar topic are disscused and you also create threads on these his topic.

Observer not stalker.

 

[abdulbarijan]

That is. I see you everywhere when similar topic are disscused and you also create threads on these his topic.

Observer not stalker.

Alrighty .. an observer it is then

 

[Moonlight]

Alrighty .. an observer it is then

A good observer.













Ps: When I stalk I stalk hard.

 

[Mugwop]

your signature is extremely contradictory to the point you are trying to make. just wanted to point that out.


then whats the diff b/n humans and animals? if you have no self control you're no better than a gorilla my friend.

Do you even know what my signature means?