I don't know, it's like I sleep with your wife, and you punch me, I will not go to jail, you will. I mean, if you use the reason "Because I sleep with your wife" in court, it just wouldn't fly.
Problem is, NATO probably didn't think Russia will be stupid enough to actually invade Ukraine, if I am a betting man, I think NATO intentionally put this Infront of Ukraine and try to get some action from Russia, the action they are expecting is most likely a ramp up of the proxy war using the separatist force, you will have to say this, it would be pretty dumb for Russia to actually invade Ukraine to begin with, anyone with a sane mind would know the day they invade is the day they are losing the strategic game, because even if they rolled over Ukraine, which they didn't, Russia will most likely push Sweden and Finland toward NATO and alienate Russian own allies, because don't forget, Ukrainian are like "Brothers" to Russian, in fact, a lot of family connection between the two countries, it not hard to find some Ukrainian have family member living in Russia and vice versa, and if they can invade them, what won't they do??
But then Russian really did invade and then they failed. Instead of calling off this failure, they double down, I mean, sure, maybe there is a way for peace in March and hope that things will go back to normal one day, with who know how many thousand Ukrainian died defending their home now? That's really unlikely the two countries would mend their ties, it will more or less become Israel and Palestine, or India and Pakistan in term of relationship from now on.
On the other hand, there are really a lot of ways to solve the NATO issue, if that is really the problem here, but it wouldn't really take much to know NATO was not the issue with Ukrainian War, even before the leak of Ukrainian Okay on not joining NATO in turn of a Russian stand down, that's because Ukraine cannot join NATO unilaterally, they will need all 30 countries approve to be able to, so it wasn't just focus on Ukraine, if Russia don't ever want Ukraine to join? They can pressure France or Germany or Turkey or most easily Hungary to reject their application. And then they can try to insert influence on the Ukrainian government and hope to gain the government back with a pro-Russia regime.
On the other hand, NATO had already been enveloped Russia on three side, From Latvia and Estonia to the West to Turkey in the South, and Alaska in the East, NATO encroachment really wouldn't make any strategic balance to Russia, in fact now that Finland is joining, attacking Ukraine did the exact opposite to what Russia set out on, because it is about to gain 1200 km border with NATO when, not if, Finland join. And then NATO will really be completely enveloping Russian on all 4 side, and the only side of Russia is not facing NATO is in the North in the Arctics.
So yes, NATO is expecting something, but never would they expect Russia really go all in with this and invade Ukraine themselves. and when this happen, what can you do? Would you be allowing this to happen because Russia invaded? You won't, that's why there are fighting now. And this will not be ending anytime soon, and the more this drag on, the more it put both countries down, the only different is, the West is going to help Ukraine rebuild, I don't think China will do to Russia, Russia is going to be a hot pile of shit after this war where nobody want to touch, and if you ask me, they are their own making, and they asked for it. And you can't blame NATO on this.