This is pure Hindu culture that Muslims of India adopted. This is called Indianization of Islam. When I got married, my father strictly prohibited my in-laws to give anything in the name of dowry. When my in-laws insisted on giving a bedroom set, I still remember the words of my honorable father, he said "I sure can provide at-least a room and furniture into it to my daughter in law".
I dont know theological aspect of it, nor is it important for me. I am not going to search into geeta or vedas to figure out what real hindus should do. What I do know, is our society, as it is, has evils and we need to open our eyes to such instances, especially when people point it out (in this case the lady who wrote the blog).
Me neither.
Unfortunately, in many cases, it will. I don't want people, especially people as immature as the author of the OP, being told that divorce is all nice and good and just 'a new beginning', because it's not. It's a very serious step and should have some sort of stigma or weight attached to it.
I do agree that divorced people shouldn't be seen as cripples or too far gone, but it has to be a little bit controverisal and serious so that couples actually try to fix their relations, whether it be through counselling or elders, before jumping to divorce like they do in the West.
Obviously it's better to get divorced than suffer from domestic violence or serious issues. But the majority of divorces in the West are just people going through perfectly normal relationship difficulties, who, because they have so much encouragement available, decide to divorce and jeopardize the future of their children because they're too stubborn, lazy or egoistic to even attempt reconciliation through compromise. They don't even try to 'fix' their marriage
I wouldn't term the entire society as 'better' just because of a low divorce rate. But that certainly is one of the positive aspects of our society as compared to Western society.
She's not telling lies about Pakistani society, in fact she is correct on many things and i agree with her observation. But what she has observed is the pre-Islamic cultural traditions of the subcontinent which unfortunately are common in Pakistan. An example of this is the dowry which the brides family gives to the groom or another example of this is banning the newly-wed wife from receiving an education and yet another example is extravagant weddings to impress relatives and friends. None of this can be found in Islam and these practices only make marriage disliked by people and i don't blame her. But i disagree with her conclusion as its wrong to blame marriage in itself when its the cultural traditions of the society (unfortunately) that are to blame.
Gufi, in-fact in recent years, the rate of divorce has gone down in certain 'developed' countries but it is simply because getting or giving divorce has become so phenomenally expensive that couples prefer to live together without getting married. So abuse of one practice (to be able to give or take divorce with ease and on petty reasons) has lead to another and bigger social ill, that is, living together without getting married.
Divorce is never a rosy experience for most people in any society. It can be traumatic and financially costly to the individuals involved in any society, specially in the WEST where individuals have to split their assets 50/50.
These idiots want to impose the 'normals' of west to us.
You are right.There is a great deal of wisdom behind marriages and raising a family.The most miserable people that I have seen are Unmarried Old Females. Believe it or not but this is what I have witnessed personally.
When you are young you may think you don’t need anyone to take care of you, you are energetic, want adventure in life but at some stage of life when your knees start to hurt, when you need a cane to walk, when young people ignore you considering you old and boring, then maybe you will realize that it hurts to have no family no kids all that enjoyment in your youth comes back to haunt you, in your youth you may want new adventure every night without fears of long term commitments but one day you will hit the menopause and impotency, then maybe you will realize marriage is not just for the sex but fulfillment of certain other emotions, like having and caring about children, love, responsibility, decision making skills etc. Nothing is scarier for a human than loneliness.
Regarding marriages in Pakistan arranged or love, the way most of these happen there is nothing Islamic about them. And again my personal experience is arranged marriages are more lasting then love marriages. Bakio ka to nahi pata par Pakistani Mujnoo, Laila say wo wo wady kar laita hai jo badh may nibhany mushkil ho jaty hain.
I completely agree these are some brainless dumbs who want to turn humans into bunch of animals with no dignity and honor
