Poll: Causes of Late Marriages in Pakistan

[Mujahid Memon]

The average age of marriage seems to be increasing gradually for both men and women. Mid to late thirties for men and late twenties for women has become a norm typically in urban areas of Pakistan. Well there are many reasons as listed in poll but in my opinion the unrealistic expectations both from the guy and girl's side is the root cause for this unnecessary delay in marriages.

Please vote and share your thoughts...!

 

[Hiraa]

Ji demands khatam hi naheen horahe.

These irfan ahson/photographers covering elite weddings and those videos being showcased to the world has made EVERYONE demand the same kindof wealth.

everyone wants a rich fat wedding so obviously they look for people who have tons of money, have the same/better status than them

As a girl I have noticed that boys themselves are quite flexible. They dont have much problem with girls being their age or not “gori” enough. Its their family demanding way too much. Mothers/sisters demanding gori larki for their brothers and must be 7-8 years younger.

i say good on for people who choose their partners in university/work place. Atleast they dont have to endure the toxic system that is the rishta culture. They marry the people they have understanding with instead of rishta aunties deciding who is good enough and who isnt.

 

[PakFactor]

My parents looking for a girl for my younger brother. The question asked are in this particular order:

1) Doctor ha?
2) Engineer ha?
3) Laywer ha? (most useless profession)
4) Computer Pogram (intentionally misspelled last word)

5) Masters ha or kam start kara ga (fir ham dakta)

My brother is 28 and the girls these parents are asking are 33+ years old. I just told my brother if he wants to retire early marry them and live of their social security.

 

[Mujahid Memon]

As a girl I have noticed that boys themselves are quite flexible. They dont have much problem with girls being their age or not “gori” enough. Its their family demanding way too much. Mothers/sisters demanding gori larki for their brothers and must be 7-8 years younger.

As a boy agree with you 101%. Also most of the times the demands for a super richass dude are not from the girl herself but from her family members.

 

[313ghazi]

Log kya kahen ge?!

The sentence that sunk many a Pakistani. It's a curse on our society.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

Ji demands khatam hi naheen horahe.

These irfan ahson/photographers covering elite weddings and those videos being showcased to the world has made EVERYONE demand the same kindof wealth.

everyone wants a rich fat wedding so obviously they look for people who have tons of money, have the same/better status than them

As a girl I have noticed that boys themselves are quite flexible. They dont have much problem with girls being their age or not “gori” enough. Its their family demanding way too much. Mothers/sisters demanding gori larki for their brothers and must be 7-8 years younger.

i say good on for people who choose their partners in university/work place. Atleast they dont have to endure the toxic system that is the rishta culture. They marry the people they have understanding with instead of rishta aunties deciding who is good enough and who isnt.

There is nothing wrong with later marriage. By later I mean not later than early 30s. Ideally you want a society with higher education and more female work force participation. By the time they get married both parties should be economically secure. Also later marriage means less children. Ideally 2-4. Quality over quantity. And it all boils to having a happy/content life.

The idea that people get married n late teens or earlier belongs to another era. A era where diseases stalked the land. Many children died in earlier years. Life expextancy was short. In this brutal, hard life savage nature ruled. Thus the natural survival formula existed. Get married in your teens. Shag, shag. Make babies after babies. The poor female was just a baby making machine. By churning out so many kids you were assured that some would survive. This akin to cats who give litter every year. But by spawning such numbers it ensures survival of the species.

This type of life had nothing great about it. It's easy for us guys to say "motherhood is blessing". In the real world women would wear out their bodies by 30. Us men don't appreciate what a woman goes through for nine months.

Today we can thank god we are out of this savage existence akin to animals breeding like rats. So we live in a age where females can have a life. As I as father of a daughter fully support the right of women across the word to have a full, happy, fulifilling life and chase their dreams like men do.

And by the way this trend is seen across the globe. The more savage the environment you will see early marriage and high birth rates. But as life improves and society becomes prosperous choices become available. With it marriage age begins to increase as well as reduction in fertility rates. Rat breeding culture begins to wane.

By later I mean not later than early 30s.

It could be later but there is scientific evidence of increased risks to the pregnancy etc.

 

[Trango Towers]

Ji demands khatam hi naheen horahe.

These irfan ahson/photographers covering elite weddings and those videos being showcased to the world has made EVERYONE demand the same kindof wealth.

everyone wants a rich fat wedding so obviously they look for people who have tons of money, have the same/better status than them

As a girl I have noticed that boys themselves are quite flexible. They dont have much problem with girls being their age or not “gori” enough. Its their family demanding way too much. Mothers/sisters demanding gori larki for their brothers and must be 7-8 years younger.

i say good on for people who choose their partners in university/work place. Atleast they dont have to endure the toxic system that is the rishta culture. They marry the people they have understanding with instead of rishta aunties deciding who is good enough and who isnt.

And quite often the mothers and sisters demanding are often ugly and not at all fair.
I have seen stunning dark skinned ladies and ugly fair skinned ones.
Sad

 

[Arsenal Caan]

Off topic but percentages don't add up to 100%

 

[PakFactor]

As a boy agree with you 101%. Also most of the times the demands for a super richass dude are not from the girl herself but from her family members.

I will say it's a mixture of both from what I've seen. The mother would be more financially driven, however, from the girl side she'll want the final approval after showing her friends and stuff often times make them seem incapable of making a decision on there own.

The whole experience I wouldn't say traumatized my brother but he's lost heart in the whole process.

 

[Valar.]

Weddings.

Lavish weddings.

Social need to have grand lavish weddings are one of the reasons for late marriages.

You gotta earn a lot to throw big wedding parties days after days.

Lavish weddings are the new dowry.

I voted financial reasons.

 

[Pak-Canuck]

Probably a bit of everything. Would say more common would be the paradigm of "not marrying until you have graduated and gotten a decent stable job to provide etc etc" which in today's world would easily translate into the late 20's/ early 30's. Very few people realize the problems this actually leads to due to a very hypersexualized that we have today (and with different electronic devices and technology this has compounded the problem, people at a very young age become more aware of stuff than the older generations did at a later age).

 

[El Sidd]

Societal pressure.

There is a strong marriage fever plaguing the different cultures present in the country.

Suicide rates are rising due to all of these so called homemakng efforts.

No idea and no comments on Women

 

[Death Professor]

Off topic but percentages don't add up to 100%View attachment 742517

you can choose more than one option. 16 people have voted, but out of those 16 some chose multiple options.

 

[Azadkashmir]

too much bollywood movies and gand pak movies projecting amir weddings left a mark on pakppl.

 

[Iltutmish]

I think it’s not necessarily a problem to marry late for a man, because as provider he needs some education and work experience to have some financial stability for starting a family. So it’s normal that you are in your late 20ies / early 30ies when you marry. We shouldn’t make it that „easy“, saying no financial stability, no accommodation no nothing and let’s marry because it’s romantic to be poor and have no real responsibilities.

This doesn’t mean that our culture makes it easy to marry. 2000 rassams, 5000 wedding guests, Jehz and other high expectations make it difficult to rishta match. People forget that marriage is a legal contract between two persons (polygamy is not that common in Pakistan) and not between clans (it is to some extent but you get my point).

I was in my 20ies, she was in her late teens, alhamdulillah 6 years and counting! I was still studying, but I saved up some money through previous work and part time jobs, had a car and an own flat. And I still managed to have a relatively big wedding, because my parents also have the „logh kya kahe ghe“ disease.

I have no real advise because every situation is different, people must learn to be patient sometimes. The „rishtamaker“ aunties can land you the perfect match and your university love could be a case for a divorce lawyer a few years later (and vice versa). Postponing marriage is not good, I get it, but when you want it to be halal you have to be patient.

May Allah help us to find a righteous spouse and protect the marriages of our Ummah!