Joke

[Pk_Thunder]

Angel: What do you want?

Boy: a beautiful girl

Angle:
if u r muslim I'll give you katrina
if u r hindu I'll give you karine
if u r christian I'll give you Angelina

what's ur name?

Boy: Sheikh Vinod Fernando

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------- Post added at 10:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:14 PM ----------

"1 Maa ki request hay,plz free package ho to itna phelao k us k betay tk pohnch ja'ay
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Putar Bashir,wapsi ty 65 wali pepsi lenda aayen teri phophi aii ay.

 

[Sugarcane]

Girl: hi baby..:*
boy: hi jaan...(sending failed)

girl: r u here??
boy: yes yes..i m here...(sending failed)
...
girl: r u ignoring me or what?? :s
boy: honey i m nt..i m ryt here..(sending failed)

girl: its over..dnt u evr talk to me again !!
boy: Damn ! go to hell.. (message send) :O :O

 

[Vic-Aries]

Ugly person illness

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch.

 

[marcos98]

An insect falls into a mug of beer...

African : Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away

Japanese : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani : Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.

Indian: Accuses Pakistan for helping the insect to infiltrate into the glass, blames it as long term ISI operation, terms the insect as a Pakistan SSG commando in undercover operation and vows to defend every inch of the glass and every drop of the beer and demand that US should declare Pakistan a terrorist state.

 

[marcos98]

Scene in a delivery room...

After being pulled out by a male doctor from his mother's womb, the baby asked the doctor angrily.
Baby:"are you my father?"
Doctor: "No, i'm not!"
The baby then asked a male nurse standing nearby...
Baby:"are you my father?"
Nurse: "No, i'm not."
At this point, the baby's father entered and said...
Father: "Oh my baby... the cutest thing..."
He was interrupted when the baby began poking him repeatedly in the forehead with his finger and shouted "that's what it feels like, a$$hole!!"

 

[David Young]

LOL nice thread! Here's my share:

Catch A Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

 

[Salik]

.
.
Question: America Afghanistan mein kia ker raha hai?

Answer: Jhakk mar raha hai.


(in english)

Question: What America is doing in Afghanistan?

Answer: It is doing Jhakk.



If you don't know what is Jhakk see the movie My Name is Khan!!!

 

[RazPaK]

Current Pakistani Government.

 

[baker]

A commercial airplane is in flight toMumbai, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde woman replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Mumbai and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success convincing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Mumbai and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have at the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde , I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde.

" He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says,
"Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Mumbai."

 

[baker]

A little boy wanted Rs50, so he prayed 4 weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided 2 write a letter 2 God requesting Rs50.

When post office staff received a letter addressed 2 God, they forwarded it 2 the President.

... President was so amused, she instructed her secretary 2 send the little boy Rs 20.
As she thought Rs50 would be a lot of
money for him.

The little boy was delighted wit Rs20 & decided 2 write a thank u note 2 God.

'Dear God, Thank u very much 4 sending d money. However,

I noticed dat u ev sent it through 'Rashtrapati Bhavan' & those corrupt donkeys ate my 30 rupees!

 

[mayankmatador]

Teacher : I love you ka janam
kahan hua ?
Boy : China mein,
kyunki iski na koi warranty hai aur
na koi garranty, chale to chand tak,
na chale to shaam tak…!!!!

 

[Raza88]

The missus came home steaming drunk last night.
"You up for some role play action, babe?" she asked with a wink.
"Not really," I replied.
"Oh, come on," she said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror...

As I shouted, "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs.

 

[Sugarcane]

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go
back to earth and be anyone you wish to be..
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren," and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.

"Sara Pipalini," replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter.

St Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says

"No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

 

[monitor]

Husband : Tumi jadi Ranna korte paarte, Radhuni ke chhaatai (sack) kore ditaam.

Wife : Tumi jadi kaajer kaaj ta korte paarte, Driver -ke chhaatai kore ditaam !

 

[monitor]

Habalu bought a new television. Drum of water within one-bath house telibhisanata phirei he threw. Facts at a gallop came to one neighbor.
Neighbor: Hey, what are you doing ?
Habalu: ha ha, I can not say. just bought new TV. Shopkeeper said, color TV! i Thought, whether he cheat me or not so give water bath it to see what color was it not?