Joke

[su-47]

here's a strange one

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
If you cant read it, say so and i will post the answer.

 

[bhangra12345]

here's a strange one

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
If you cant read it, say so and i will post the answer.

if i can read it? hindi translation of the above!

mujhe vishwas nahi ho raha hain ki main jo padh rahaa hun use samajh raha hoon. Aadme ke dimaag ki anhoni taaqat, cambridge vishwa vidyalaya ke shodh ke anusaar, hum ek shabd mein aksharon ko kaise likhe, us se kuch pharak nahi padhta hain. Pehla aur aakhri aksar apne sahi jagah pe hona jaroori hain. Baki sab, kaise hon kuch pharak nahi padhta, tum use bejhijak padh sakte hon. Ye is liye kyu ki, aadmi kaa dimaag har akshar ko akela mein nahi padhta hain, lekin shabd ko padta hain. aascharyajanak hain naa? such hain aur mein hamesha "spelling" ko mahatva deta tha. Ye padh sakte hon to dusre ko bhejo!

 

[F.O.X]

here's a strange one

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
If you cant read it, say so and i will post the answer.

i think i remember it somewhere else 2.

Regards
Wilco

 

[Keysersoze]

here's a strange one

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.
If you cant read it, say so and i will post the answer.

I am familiar with this is......but a quick warning .....if anyone posts like this then prepare to have your posts deleted!

 

[saracen]

Bihar Driving License
========================================================
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
------------------------------------------ -----------------------


NOTE: Please do not Shoot the person at the applikason kounter.
Becasue He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 5 (Circle
highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________
Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________

(** If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy
thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression .)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your
thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht
hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

 

[EagleEyes]

Nice saracen. It turns real funny in the end.

 

[araz]

I remember an old joke that my uncletold me. He wasa Prof of Mathematics who lived for a very long time in Peshawar and hence the joke is about Pathans. No rascist pun is intended.
Two young Pathans are fighting amongst themselves. One says that the female Lion lays an egg, and the other one says , No it has cubs. They are both very strong and there is great danger that a fight may break out amongst them. Suddenly they see an old man coming along the way and having heard and always associated age with wisdom they ask the old man to adjudicate between the two. They ask the question of the old man and impatiently await a response from him. Both men are overbearing and aggressive and the old man really fears for his life.Finally he says" Oh Yaraa! lion is the king of the jungle. Like all kings it is upto the lion whether he wants to lay an egg or have a cub. Who are we to interfere in the matters of a king and quickly walks away.
I heard this joke in Urdu and have translated it .I hope every one enjoys it.
Araz

 

[Cheetah786]

http://imageshack.us

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[x_man]

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy".



Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."



Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.



Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.



He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.



"Shoite, Shoite!"



He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.



He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.



He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.



"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.



He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.



He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."



He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.



He says "**** it" and falls into bed.



The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Good Mornin' Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"



Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"



"Mick phoned, . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."

 

[mustang]

The perfect husband


There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club.
After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th
hole.

*Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of
the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:*

**


*(H - Husband, W - Wife)
*
*H - "Hello ?"


W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club? "

H -"Yes."

W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a
beautiful leather
coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

H -"What's the price?"

W - "Only $1,000."

H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."

W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2008
models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK 500 model. I spoke with the
salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to
exchange the BMW that we bought last year...


H - "What price did he quote you?"

W - "Only $65,000..."

H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."


W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...

H -"What?"

W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account
and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we
had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool,
English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."

H - "How much are they asking?"

W - "Only $ : 450,000 -- a magnificent price.. .and I see that we have
that much in the bank to cover..."

H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"

W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

H - " Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at
him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while
holding the phone and asks " Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong
to???"
*

 

[Spring Onion]

A girl asked her Pathan boy friend

Tum Mujhe mangni per Ring do ga na

BF: waee zaroor de ga batao PTCL pe de ka mobile pe

 

[Interceptor]

A soldier was walking down town in Islamabad as soon as he saw General Store, he Saluted. Haha

 

[A.Rahman]

The mother then paused, looked at her son inquisitively and asked… “Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?”

 

[Neo]

Good one...lol
We posted the same joke here earlier, the carachters being Musharraf, Manmohan and some hot Indian actress. Ofcourse Musharraf was the winner there.

 

[Sam Dhanraj]

Whats Your Excuse ??

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."