Maira La
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Haha, not drunk, just wanted to annoy the hell out of some boring middle aged policeman.
Joke
- Thread starter EagleEyes
- Start date
Haha, not drunk, just wanted to annoy the hell out of some boring middle aged policeman.
halupridol
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- Nov 30, 2013
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Mishraji Interview Ke Liye Gaye.
Naukri Already Boss Ke Saale Ko Mil Chuki Thee.
Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jaroori Tha.
Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe The Jinka Koi Matlab Nahi Tha.
Mishraji Ki Bari Aayi.
Interviewer : Aap Nadi Ke Beech Ek Boat Par Ho, Aur Apke Paas do Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahi Hai.
Apko ek cigarette Jallana Hai. ? Kaise Jalaoge ?
Mishraji Very Serious.
Sir Iske teen-char Solutions Ho Sakte Hai...
Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kahaan... Batao!!!
Mishraji Ke Out Of The World Answers: Take one cigarette and throw it in the Water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER…… using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
Interviewer:- Kya Bakwas Hai...
Mishraji's another deadly solution:
You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
Interviewer:-Stupid
Mishraji:- Sir one more Solution….
Take water in your hand
and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)
Interviewer:- Abey Gadhe Usse Kya hoga..
Mishraji:- Sir Aapne Wo Gaana Nahin Suna
“TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee.” us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”
Mishraji - Sir If that was not enough, i have one more solution…..
Start praising one cigarette,The other will get jealous & “jalney lagega”
Interviewer Impressed :- Saale ko maaro goli, naukri Mishra ji ko hee de do.
Mishra ji can sell anything...
Leader
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Manindra
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- Nov 6, 2012
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(1)Pintu : I love u...
.
Ladki ne zor se
thappad maara,
aur boli ..
Kya kaha tune ??
Pintu ne bhi ghuma kar
2 zordaar chaanta maara
aur kaha.. : Kamini..
jab suna hi nahin
to maara kyun !
(2)Husband : mujhe
neend nahi aa rahi hai
Wife : jao jaakar
bartan saaf kar do
Husband : neend me
bol raha hun pagli..
(3) Husband: Tumhre Shadi se pehle kitne boyfrnd the?
.
Wife silent!
.
Husbend chilla k: Main is khamoshi ko kyA smjhu?
.
Wife: Haye rabba....
Gin to rhi hoon chilla kyu rhe ho....
(4) DARPOK Hai Wo log jo,
single hain..,Shaadi nahi Karte...
Saala JIGAR chahiye,
Khushi se BARBAAD Hone Ke Liye....
(5)Teacher : Bacho wada karo kabhi sharab,cigaret nahi piyoge..
Bachey : nahi piyenge.
Teacher : Girls ka picha nahi karoge.
Bachey : nahi karenge.
Teacher : Girls se friendship nahi karoge.
Bachey : nahi karenge.
Teacher : Or watan pe zindagi qurban karoge.
Bachey : kar denge aisi zindagi ka aur karna bhi kya hai
(6) ATTiTUDE ROCKZ :
Saas Bahu Se=Uth Ja Kambakht
Dekh Suraj Kabka Nikal Aaya Hai
Bahu= Hey Relax Mom... Wo Sota Bhi To Muzse Pehle Hai..!
THiNK Different
(7) Pappu - agar duniya ki sarri admiyo ka chehra ek jaisa hota toh kya hota ?
Golu - wahi hota jo gas cylendr ka hota hai..kabhi iskey ghar kabhi uske ghar
.
Ladki ne zor se
thappad maara,
aur boli ..
Kya kaha tune ??
Pintu ne bhi ghuma kar
2 zordaar chaanta maara
aur kaha.. : Kamini..
jab suna hi nahin
to maara kyun !
(2)Husband : mujhe
neend nahi aa rahi hai
Wife : jao jaakar
bartan saaf kar do
Husband : neend me
bol raha hun pagli..
(3) Husband: Tumhre Shadi se pehle kitne boyfrnd the?
.
Wife silent!
.
Husbend chilla k: Main is khamoshi ko kyA smjhu?
.
Wife: Haye rabba....
Gin to rhi hoon chilla kyu rhe ho....
(4) DARPOK Hai Wo log jo,
single hain..,Shaadi nahi Karte...
Saala JIGAR chahiye,
Khushi se BARBAAD Hone Ke Liye....
(5)Teacher : Bacho wada karo kabhi sharab,cigaret nahi piyoge..
Bachey : nahi piyenge.
Teacher : Girls ka picha nahi karoge.
Bachey : nahi karenge.
Teacher : Girls se friendship nahi karoge.
Bachey : nahi karenge.
Teacher : Or watan pe zindagi qurban karoge.
Bachey : kar denge aisi zindagi ka aur karna bhi kya hai
(6) ATTiTUDE ROCKZ :
Saas Bahu Se=Uth Ja Kambakht
Dekh Suraj Kabka Nikal Aaya Hai
Bahu= Hey Relax Mom... Wo Sota Bhi To Muzse Pehle Hai..!
THiNK Different
(7) Pappu - agar duniya ki sarri admiyo ka chehra ek jaisa hota toh kya hota ?
Golu - wahi hota jo gas cylendr ka hota hai..kabhi iskey ghar kabhi uske ghar
nizamuddin
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- Mar 13, 2015
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wow..... ha ha ha .... very nice
45'22'
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- May 10, 2012
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I could not stop laughing for a very long time after I read this status on PDF...
How can one put the administrator ( @WebMaster ) on ignore list??? hehehe
View attachment 224995
@IrbiS @Horus @Leader @OrionHunter @utraash @45'22' @Rain Man @MastanKhan @WAJsal
looks like webbie banned her
Is this true........f anyone should be in her ignore list then it's most probably me
IrbiS
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- Jul 21, 2011
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I could not stop laughing for a very long time after I read this status on PDF...
How can one put the administrator ( @WebMaster ) on ignore list??? hehehe
View attachment 224995
@IrbiS @Horus @Leader @OrionHunter @utraash @45'22' @Rain Man @MastanKhan @WAJsal
Just a joke
Levina
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IrbiS
FULL MEMBER
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- Jul 21, 2011
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I had a good laugh
We shouldn't tell poor webby that he got banned. He'll be heartbroken
OrionHunter
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- May 28, 2011
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Wow!I could not stop laughing for a very long time after I read this status on PDF...
How can one put the administrator ( @WebMaster ) on ignore list??? hehehe
View attachment 224995
@IrbiS @Horus @Leader @OrionHunter @utraash @45'22' @Rain Man @MastanKhan @WAJsal
This guy must be really really pissed off at Webbie!! 
WTF happened? I wish I knew!
dray
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THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:
1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."
2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."
4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."
5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."
6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."
7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."
9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."
13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."
15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."
16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."
19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."
2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."
4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."
5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."
6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."
7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."
9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."
13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."
15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."
16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."
19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."
asad71
PROFESSIONAL
- Joined
- May 24, 2011
- Messages
- 6,863
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How Experts Ask for a Raise
An Austrian maid asks the wife who employs her for a pay raise.
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?"
Anna: “Well, Madam, there are tree reasons why I wunt the increaze. The 1st is that I do iron better than you."
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Anna: “Your husband he say so.”
Wife: “Oh yeah?”
Anna: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “that's a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Anna: “Your hozban he did.”
Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”
Anna: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”
Anna: “No Madam… The gardener did.”
(A moment of silence passes...)
"So, how much do you want?”
An Austrian maid asks the wife who employs her for a pay raise.
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?"
Anna: “Well, Madam, there are tree reasons why I wunt the increaze. The 1st is that I do iron better than you."
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Anna: “Your husband he say so.”
Wife: “Oh yeah?”
Anna: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “that's a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Anna: “Your hozban he did.”
Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”
Anna: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”
Anna: “No Madam… The gardener did.”
(A moment of silence passes...)
"So, how much do you want?”
