indianBong
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Joke
- Thread starter EagleEyes
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asad71
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Ya, I called her. She is waiting for you with a jharoo / broom!! Take care.call her no..... "Scarlett Johansson - 0017643290"
indianBong
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OrionHunter
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nizamuddin
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چارپائی ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔ ۔‘‘”
عربی میں اونٹ کے اتنے نام ہیں کہ دور اندیش مولوی اپنے ہونہار شاگردوں کو پاس ہونے کا یہ گر بتاتے ہیں کہ اگر کسی مشکل یا کڈھب لفظ کے معنی معلوم نہ ہوں تو سمجھ لو کہ اس سے اونٹ مراد ہے ۔ اسی طرح اردو میں چارپائی کی جتنی قسمیں ہیں اس کی مثال اور کسی ترقی یافتہ زبان میں شاید ہی مل سکے۔
کھاٹ، کھٹا، کھٹیا، کھٹولہ، اڑان کھٹولہ، کھٹولی، کھٹ، چھپر کھٹ، کھرا، کھری، جھلگا، پلنگ، پلنگڑی، ماچ، ماچا، چارپائی، نواری، مسہری، منجی۔
یہ نا مکمل سی فہرست صرف اردو کی وسعت ہی نہیں بلکہ چارپائی کی ہمہ گیری پر دال ہے اور ہمارے تمدن میں اس کا مقام و مرتبہ متعین کرتی ہے۔
(مشتاق احمد یوسفی کی کتاب ’’چراغ تلے اندھیرا‘‘ سے اقتباس)
عربی میں اونٹ کے اتنے نام ہیں کہ دور اندیش مولوی اپنے ہونہار شاگردوں کو پاس ہونے کا یہ گر بتاتے ہیں کہ اگر کسی مشکل یا کڈھب لفظ کے معنی معلوم نہ ہوں تو سمجھ لو کہ اس سے اونٹ مراد ہے ۔ اسی طرح اردو میں چارپائی کی جتنی قسمیں ہیں اس کی مثال اور کسی ترقی یافتہ زبان میں شاید ہی مل سکے۔
کھاٹ، کھٹا، کھٹیا، کھٹولہ، اڑان کھٹولہ، کھٹولی، کھٹ، چھپر کھٹ، کھرا، کھری، جھلگا، پلنگ، پلنگڑی، ماچ، ماچا، چارپائی، نواری، مسہری، منجی۔
یہ نا مکمل سی فہرست صرف اردو کی وسعت ہی نہیں بلکہ چارپائی کی ہمہ گیری پر دال ہے اور ہمارے تمدن میں اس کا مقام و مرتبہ متعین کرتی ہے۔
(مشتاق احمد یوسفی کی کتاب ’’چراغ تلے اندھیرا‘‘ سے اقتباس)
Sugarcane
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Don't know i have shared it here before
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Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.
After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two.
"What a feat!" said the Emperor.
"Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swish!*swish!* The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
The Jewish Samurai, Schmuel Obi-wan Feinsilber, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swoooooosh!* flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew
through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment. The Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai. Dead is easy. But circumcised…
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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book !!”
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.
Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret ?
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.
Husband to wife – Today is a fine day. Next day he says : Today is a fine day. Again next day, he says same thing – Today is a fine day. Finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this “Today is a fine day’. I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you……"
------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.
After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two.
"What a feat!" said the Emperor.
"Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swish!*swish!* The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. "How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
The Jewish Samurai, Schmuel Obi-wan Feinsilber, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly. He drew his samurai sword and *swoooooosh!* flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew
through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment. The Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai. Dead is easy. But circumcised…
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s cheque book !!”
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”.
Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv. What’s the secret ?
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.
Husband to wife – Today is a fine day. Next day he says : Today is a fine day. Again next day, he says same thing – Today is a fine day. Finally after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband – since last one week, you are saying this “Today is a fine day’. I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to remind you……"
asad71
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A CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, I have a daughter,
SLIM & TALL, 38 DD Breasts, 24" WAIST and 34" HIPS
When she walks into a room, people say, "JESUS"
Attachments area
Preview attachment ATT000011.jpg
ATT000011.jpg
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, I have a daughter,
SLIM & TALL, 38 DD Breasts, 24" WAIST and 34" HIPS
When she walks into a room, people say, "JESUS"
Attachments area
Preview attachment ATT000011.jpg
ATT000011.jpg
One enthusiastic female dinner companion to Calvin Coolidge, one of the most taciturn president of USA: "You must talk to me, Mr. Coolidge. I made a bet today that I could get more than two words out of you."
Coolidge replied: "You lose."
Coolidge replied: "You lose."
Sugarcane
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A CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, I have a daughter,
SLIM & TALL, 38 DD Breasts, 24" WAIST and 34" HIPS
When she walks into a room, people say, "JESUS"
Attachments area
Preview attachment ATT000011.jpg
ATT000011.jpg
Photo is missing....
Manindra
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दो जिगरी दोस्त के पास एक BMW कार होती है और दूसरे के पास TATA NANO. एक बार रात को नैनो वाला दोस्त BMW वाले दोस्त को फ़ोन करता है और कहता है कि यार मेरी गाड़ी का.n पेट्रोल खत्म हो गया है. तू आ जा और मेरी कार को अपनी कार से बाँध करके पेट्रोल पंप तक मुझे पहुँचा दे ........ BMW वाला दोस्त आता है और NANO कार को बाँध कर कहता है "अगर तुझे लगे मैं तेज़ चल रहा हूँ तो पीछे से डिपर दे देना, ताकि में धीमे हो जाऊँ ....." चलते-चलते थोड़ी देर बाद BMW की साइड से तेज रफ़्तार में Audi निकलती है तो BMW वाला चिढ़ जाता है व भूल जाता है कि वो NANO को बाँध कर चल रहा है ....... बस फिर क्या था, BMW और Audi दोनों में जबर्दस्त रेस लग जाती है. स्पीड २००+ चली जाती है और दोनों पुलिस बेरिकेट्स तोड़ कर निकल जाते हैं........ तो पुलिस का सिपाही अपने ऑफ़िसर को फ़ोन करता है और घटना की जानकारी देता है तो ऑफिसर पूछता है- गाड़ी कौन कौन सी है? सिपाही कहता है- "सर, गाड़ियाँ तो दो रेस कर रही हैं BMW और Audi, पर वो छोड़ो सर, हैरान तो मैं इस बात से हूँ कि रेस BMW और Audi की हो रही है, पर एक नैनो वाला पीछे से दोनों को ओवर टेकिंग के लिए डिपर पे डिपर मारे जा रहा है .......!!!!!"
Maira La
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EntertainmenT. - না শুনলেই মিসসসসসস ...।। বেপুক বিনুদুন ... | Facebook
Is this real guys? Absolutely hilarious!!
@bongbang @BDforever @Anubis @monitor @Loki @iajdani @LaBong @Skull and Bones @Mike_Brando @Capt.Popeye @nForce
Is this real guys? Absolutely hilarious!!
@bongbang @BDforever @Anubis @monitor @Loki @iajdani @LaBong @Skull and Bones @Mike_Brando @Capt.Popeye @nForce
nForce
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hehe..Heavy accent...He was drunk probably ? Or a prank perhaps.. I mean he was recording it of course. Most hilarious part was when the policeman was trying to explain it to him !! I myself would have hung up!Man his Hindi mixed with Bangla words was awesome.
