What you have described is quite a common thing. Though I can not claim to know much about Al-Huda, I can understand your view of them. The following are my observations:
Please allow me to respond as well, point by point.
1. Any and every religious movement is going to base itself of some original material. For Muslims, it is Quran and Sunnah. Any perspective, any doctrine, any dogma is going to be based on them. This much is clear.
Correct. In a nation that staunchly claims to be the "Castle of Islam" that is a good starting point. Solid foundation, beyond reproach. After all, how can anyone dare to question the Quran and Sunnah?
2. For any organization to work a certain way, they are going to have a certain perspective to go along with their methodology. In that Al-Huda is not an exception. As far as I know (and I'm open to correction), they are not a totally local phenomenon, but in their institution actually a 'foreign' import. Al-Huda as they began were well-education overseas Pakistanis with a refreshing perspective. Having spent half my adult life outside Pakistan, I can well understand how they might approach religion. It is totally understandable if they have a minimalist approach to social structures etc...
This is the next step: Let us see how the well educated overseas Pakistanis interpret Quran and Sunnah. After all, these are successful worldly Muslims, whose hearts must be in the right place. Surely, their approach is logical and the reason for their success.
So far, so good, right?
3. It is totally up to the people involved to accept them or not to accept them. They are a religious revival sort of group and they would only work if given a chance. So basically association with Al-Huda is a free choice. Other ladies want to be like them and that is why they are open to their influence. Now if someone finds meaning or redefines their lives according to Quran and Sunnah then it is their choice. I or you or anybody else (esp. likes of VCheng) have no say in this.
Very good, now we have the social leaders of their respective circles inviting all the others very softly and gently to their way of life based on the Quran and Sunnah. No compulsion, just come and have tea and chat about religion. Listen to people comfortable talking about just what a great difference Islam has made in their lives. Dunya be kaamyaab, Aakhrat bhi kamyaab. What could be better? Surely, we should seriously consider following these remarkable people down this path. After all, what is the danger here? It is only right.
The trap is now ready.
My dearest friend went through a change like that. While earlier I could just walk right into his home like a family member, I found that it was not possible any more. Though I felt constrained at first, I respected his choice and that of his family wholeheartedly. I am glad I did that. Our friendship has grown stronger because of it.
One by one, families conform. Those who do not feel isolated and must adapt. Just like your friend was able to enforce his change in making you adapt. What is the harm here, you ask? The death of any diversity of thought, and an endless pressure to conform socially.
This is the step from where intolerance is not too far.
4. If any problem is to be found, it would be with how these people view society and efforts to change it. If they have a wish or a way or methodology that has an element of unlawfulness, then that would be reprehensible. I do not know enough to make that call about them.
There is nothing unlawful until now. Except when it becomes impossible to repeal the blasphemy law or the hudood ordnance, because it would be unislamic to do so. Now society is in a mental straitjacket.
Fossilization of the mind is not too far now.
5. You seem to have difficulty adapting to this change within your family. That could be a reason for some resentment. But a personal matter like that should not be allowed to influence your judgement about Al-Huda or similar entities.
But we have seen above how a narrow interpreation of Islam is now the accpeted mainstream, and no other thought process independent is possible without being castigated for it. Now the personal choices of the few can be imposed on everyone with the force of mainstream society.
Who can dare eat in public in Ramadan now? Just a perosnal issue? Nope. You must conform to sciety's will as defined by these people. Or get lashes. You have a "free choice", you see.
6. I hope you do appreciate that any organization that wants a certain outcome has to work a certain way and would therefore teach a certain perspective. If you feel that it leads to extremism, when they do not actually break any laws, then it is not really a valid concern. You can criticize them for being narrow (focus is always narrow, so are most reformist movements), or committed a certain way. But that is purely a personal issue.
The problem now is that the personal issue has become a societal norm against which any dissent is punished.
The trap has sprung.
While I do not agree with Al-Huda's strictly Tawheed-centered minimalist and Salafist approach, there might be little that I could criticize. If they base their conduct on Quran and Sunnah, then I can only support them, and not criticize them.
Of course, what could be more heretical than questioning what they do! Now those who have any remaining vestiges of logical thought are helplessly paralyzed to protest or do anything. After all, "I can only support them.
Now the noose is tightening cutting off the oxygen to the brain slowly and surely.
7. Lastly, I would like to emphasize that during difficult times, people often turn to religion to find solace and meaning. You can not fault people in Pakistan for doing that. The only problem would be a rise in intolerance. In a well-functioning society, laws take care of that aspect.
Now we come to the final touches. Difficult times lead to people turning to religion even more, naturally. Blame all the trouble on evil doeers and ask the people to join them.
Now all the lemmings are eager to jump over the cliff into promised rapture. Willingly.
I hope I have not obfuscated anything or spread any confusion. If I have ignored or forgotten to address any aspect, please let me know.
Please let me know if I have been clear enough too.
Lagta hai aapki kali zubaan hai and what you say comes true
If what I say comes true, then it must also mean that what I say is correct, no matter what color my tongue.
As ever you are drawing your writ-in-stone conclusions well rehearsed in advance.
My exact words are lost in your jest; care to recall them? Does taking words out of context please you and help you along your teflon way? Do not worry about collective brain of Pakistani society. Worry about your own.
I said no such thing. You are taking my words out of context. Quote my words if you have an iota of integrity.
Please see my point by point reply above. Thanks.
and then go see I told you so or is this time pass chatter? 
