Here’s why People in Pakistan Stay in Loveless Marriages

[war&peace]

So called "Loveless Marriages" have been more successful and effective than majority of "lustful marriages" termed as "Love Marriages". Only a feminist idiot can think that couples in arrange marriage spend their whole life without love, affection and feelings.

this you learned through Pogo?

 

[Sugarcane]

this you learned through Pogo?

Yes

 

[Ocean]

LOL !! this thread has got some result of cousin marriages shook .

Cousin marriages are better than ur indian culture of marrying a woman to 5-10 men at a time as her multiple partners and Lmao they all are brothers.

or temple devadasis , maybe a product of a temple devadasi as urself has to show his frsutrations everywhere. Lmao

-------

Can a love marriage turn out to be eventually loveless too? What's to blame?

Even those people who date and or enter in love martiages ( btw i have nothing against a love marriage i consider it better) dont show their truer selves to other people. Have we never had our friends whose true natures are known to us and who are dating other woman, and how they share with us how they act all nice and prim and proper before girls so that woman would not turn them down and same goes for women too. Like in dating period hide ur trueself and after marriage people start acting themselves and its then when the shock comes for the other partner and marriage falls apart. U would have heard this statement tonnes of times from one divorcing partner that my partner was not what they showed themself before marriage.

In dating period many people act all nice and perfect but its only when one lives under the roof with same person day in day out, one gets to know the person in real.
I know guys who actually shamelessly lie before women to keep their interest alive in them and i am sure even their gfs might be lying to them too , could be or could not be.

So whether its love or arrange true happiness in marriage comes more from your luck and the effort you put into it. And these stupid assumptions that arrange marriages are always loveless , then dont get into such marriages but those who want to how on earth others are supposed to dictate their choices.

Yes

Pull the plug out of Indian channels and Bollywood, most of these issues will resolve by themselves.

Lets say indian films build perceptions about love marriages to be perfect or push people into romantic fantasies. Then even our dramas in pakistan are doing the same, case in point drama yaqeen ka safar and humsafar .More than these dramas its pakistani digests and novels that take youngsters into imaginary perfect world of romance , likes of farhat ishtiaq has really made our women live in imaginary fantsay worlds where they set expectations and when not met feel a shock.
Plus everyone whether a man or a woman could have a romantic nature and their feelings could be more controlled by age or hormones. I would just say let people go for what suits their taste, nothign wrong in wanting to enter into a love marriage.

But writers like farhat ishtiaq are really damaging the society than helping it.

 

[YeBeWarned]

A love marriage can be arranged , and an Arranged marriage can also turn out to be love Marriage .. so what's the fuss ?

 

[Pakistani E]

Honestly I've seen both love marriages and arranged marriages break, although these terms are sometimes interchangeable.

I don't think there is one method of marriage that will suit everyone. Some folks are free and spirited, sure as long as they away from the extra marital stuff, I don't see a problem with love marriages. Personally, I would never marry someone without getting to know them well enough to see our future together. If you are marrying simply because your father or whatever told you to, you might as well get your father marry to them instead, since it is you who will live that life and deal with those circumstances and not the parents.

I saw some of the worst abuse meted out in arranged marriages, but when a love marriage breaks down, it is just as bad. I feel people are too quick to take sides and join one side over another. There should be a mixture of both, love and arranged.

In arranged marriages however, family always pressures the woman to stay in the marriage, and my pet hate phrase is always used, and almost always directed at the woman, "Sabr karo, sabr karo". Bechari sabr kerti kerti goes to an early grave.

 

[war&peace]

People are confusing the traditional arranged marriage practiced in the subcontinent with the concept of marriage in Islam, which is wrong. In traditional arrange marriages there is an element of coercion on both the girl and the boy from the parents and relatives. While in Islam the marriage has to be out of free will, both girl and boy are free to select the partners. The parent can't force but can assist them through their experience and wisdom but the final decision is by the boy and girl though the latter needs permission of her guardian in case it is her first marriage. Furthermore, in Islam there is no concept of a blind marriage. Girl and boy are not only allowed to see each other rather encourage to do so and also talk to each other in a controlled environment.

Can a love marriage turn out to be eventually loveless too? What's to blame?

Empirical data suggests that love marriages turn sour much faster than arranged marriages especially the in west and even in Pakistan. Within a year I have seen 8 of my employees going through separation and divorce here. Semi-love marriages survive much longer.

 

[I.R.A]

No matter how hard you try most of your marriage will be significantly different from initial lovey dovey years there will be times when one side will snap that is where your test starts
@Divergent
But i do agree if compromise is uni-directional the person making compromises has the right to complain or threat

Nothing is balanced people over-spend on wedding just to suffer under debt for years after it @I.R.A

Masair ....... this is my last comment here (I am going to go full retard ), any mature, experienced and realistic person would understand what I am saying, and please read my comment for educational purposes.... and not for chaskaybazi

• For any type of marriage to succeed ........ there needs to be a very healthy sexual life. Men and women both have these instincts, needs and appetite ..... the ones who don't they are medically unfit, so 75% of this relationship is dependent on how much the partners understand each other in their private moments and how much affection and love they show there ....... key is don't go after what you desire ..... if a couple fails there, no amount of Aap Janab is saving their marriage.

• Excessive **** watching leads to problems, let **** be **** and real life be real life .... when it comes to seeing another normal human in his / her natural form, reality is always different from cosmetics. All those curves and blah blah is all artificial and full of fantasies. Your wives / husbands are normal human beings ..... don't expect a model.

• Avoid being monotonous ....... too much formalities are not natural in this relation. Keep arguing and taunting each other.

• Never try to be violent and abusive ........... if you don't like anything and situation doesn't allow remain silent. Arguing in public isn't healthy.

• Never share your relationship issues with others ..... never complain of your partner to your families ...... fight your case with each other, discuss with each other ........ there is no need for a third party solution.

• And never ever promise something you cannot fulfill. And remain truthful. But don't be that girly type man who wishes to share how he got his finger bruised and how much its hurting .... remember you are married to a woman.

Love shove is too formal and unrealistic ........ be who you are and let her be who she is.

Above are free of cost advices, anything else you want to ask ......... that would be charged.

 

[TheLahoriGuy]

Cousin marriages are better

I love being able to count my chromosomes on my fingers....

 

[Ahmet Pasha]

What I've found is that if I fulfill my islamic duties I feel satisfied and content even in the sh!ttiest situations.

 

[Zibago]

• For any type of marriage to succeed ........ there needs to be a very healthy sexual life. Men and women both have these instincts, needs and appetite ..... the ones who don't they are medically unfit, so 75% of this relationship is dependent on how much the partners understand each other in their private moments and how much affection and love they show there ....... key is don't go after what you desire ..... if a couple fails there, no amount of Aap Janab is saving their marriage.

Absolutely it does however the biggest cause of breakup normally revolves around finances however on romp di romp i do agree a compromise has to be reached if that part is ignored tension will rise in marriage
Bhai 20 crore to ham hein aap janab sey sirf kam nahi chalta itna to pata hi hy

Excessive **** watching leads to problems,

No it doesnot (13 years regular usage )

let **** be **** and real life be real life ....

Its like driving a car in GTA vs in real life i mean you dont run over people in real-life now do you ?
Its nothing more than a quick fix and for most of us it results in zero change in our expectations or desires oh and btw the pro stuff is shitty never liked it

Your wives / husbands are normal human beings ..... don't expect a model.

For me its dont gain weight i am not attracted to heavy women at all

• Avoid being monotonous ....... too much formalities are not natural in this relation. Keep arguing and taunting each other.

Absolutely even stale water stinks keep it fresh but still have realistic goals life aint a p@@@@ or a fantasy romantic novel both will have douchebaggy moments its best to have a cool mind when dealing with shit

• Never try to be violent and abusive ........... if you don't like anything and situation doesn't allow remain silent. Arguing in public isn't healthy.

Absolutely violence is the worse way to deal with problems it will burn all the repair mechanisms and that memory will haunt the other person for life you will never have the same relationship again even if one pretends to ignore that
100% agree on public thing keep the arguing a bilateral no need to make it public i have seen so many people argue even in public localities it really leaves a bad impression on the children

• Never share your relationship issues with others ..... never complain of your partner to your families ...... fight your case with each other, discuss with each other ........ there is no need for a third party solution.

Well occasionally you have to do that as a third party opinion could turn things around from potential meltdown but i can see where you are coming from

• And never ever promise something you cannot fulfill. And remain truthful. But don't be that girly type man who wishes to share how he got his finger bruised and how much its hurting .... remember you are married to a woman.

Tell only what needs to be told no need to share details unless asked repeatedly however not everything needs to be shared as occasionally truth will only cause problems on such occasions a sweet lie is better

Love shove is too formal and unrealistic ........ be who you are and let her be who she is.

Well slightly disagree maybe it changes with age but you have to make changes and expect them in a good relationship

Above are free of cost advices, anything else you want to ask ......... that would be charged.

Thanks Rishton wali khala

In arranged marriages however, family always pressures the woman to stay in the marriage, and my pet hate phrase is always used, and almost always directed at the woman, "Sabr karo, sabr karo". Bechari sabr kerti kerti goes to an early grave.

Girls arent the only one who are masoom even the man in some cases has his hands tied behind his back ab itni bhi mazloom nahien hain

I saw some of the worst abuse meted out in arranged marriages, but when a love marriage breaks down, it is just as bad. I feel people are too quick to take sides and join one side over another. There should be a mixture of both, love and arranged.

Samney wali sey arrange karwa lo haha

 

[El_Swordsmen]

You’ve seen one, heard of one or been in one: A Loveless marriage. A true fact is many people see marriages as only a living arrangement, a communal bond between families or something limited to a certificate with all feelings of love and companionship on the side. In Islam, spouses are meant to love each other for Allah’s sake, be grateful for each other, be the coolness of one’s eyes and communicate just like best friends. While this all sounds great, the question remains of why people stay in loveless/unhappy marriages and is it worth it to stay if you are in one?

The number one and most common reason for parents to stay put in unhappy marriages are their children, sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of giving their offsprings a stable environment to grow in. This is the noblest and logical reason to stay in an unhappy marriage and no blame is given to the parents for wanting to stay together for their kids. However, a lot of people fail to realize is growing up with such parents often leads their children growing up with difficulty being in trusting relationships, taking rejection extremely hard and having major self-worth issues.

It’s no secret women are usually pressured into marriages, and it’s the same pressure on them which makes them stay. The concept of divorce is still a taboo in Pakistan, seen as a failure and met with gasps and judgmental eyes. Sometimes, it might be easier to stay in an unhappy marriage than to have to deal with society’s entire gaze once you are out of one.

Even if you are not completely dependent on your spouse for your finances, it is not easy to go from a two to one income household and give up many of the luxuries that come with a marriage.

If people are in a loveless marriage, chances are the two don’t know how to communicate about small things let alone have serious talks about separation or divorce. This leads to them living their separate lives under the same roof.

Once someone gets married their life becomes more concentrated on fulfilling responsibilities and whether love exists is not a priority. This is upsetting as while a child may suffer from having separated parents it is equally if not more emotionally damaging to have parents who don’t seem to care about each other and barely communicate.

Many spouses can’t imagine what their life would be like outside of marriage, what they would do or what kind of person they would be. The fear of the unknown coupled with hopes of things getting better leads to them staying put. In addition, many women have been conditioned to believe marriage has only a one-way entry with no way out and have no confidence on how to face the world on their own.

Bottom line is things need to change. Marriages should be about mutual love and respect, and whether two people want to stay together is obviously their own business, it is important to not only think of others but also themselves. Who is a person outside a marriage and without being buried with the responsibilities that come along with it? How is a loveless marriage better for your children than separation in the long run? These are questions one should be asking if they find themselves in a marriage devoid of any emotion.

Yes, society is progressing and slowly more people are dropping out or marriages when it’s not worth it but many still don’t have support from their families and the rest of society. If someone is in an unhappy marriage the first thing to be done accept it and then see what can be done to fix it, as marriage should be a beautiful and sacred bond between two people. Hopefully recognizing some of the reasons people stay in loveless marriages can help see what can be done to end the cycle.


Source: https://pink.parhlo.com/pakistani-p...arriages/#utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Pink

Marriage without love is just a struggle ....

 

[Pakistani E]

I love being able to count my chromosomes on my fingers....

You are fast joining the list of my favourite posters. Keep going.

Samney wali sey arrange karwa lo haha

Mere samne waley gher main to ek Indian pensioner rehta hai.

 

[Verve]

Masair ....... this is my last comment here (I am going to go full retard ), any mature, experienced and realistic person would understand what I am saying, and please read my comment for educational purposes.... and not for chaskaybazi

• For any type of marriage to succeed ........ there needs to be a very healthy sexual life. Men and women both have these instincts, needs and appetite ..... the ones who don't they are medically unfit, so 75% of this relationship is dependent on how much the partners understand each other in their private moments and how much affection and love they show there ....... key is don't go after what you desire ..... if a couple fails there, no amount of Aap Janab is saving their marriage.

• Excessive **** watching leads to problems, let **** be **** and real life be real life .... when it comes to seeing another normal human in his / her natural form, reality is always different from cosmetics. All those curves and blah blah is all artificial and full of fantasies. Your wives / husbands are normal human beings ..... don't expect a model.

• Avoid being monotonous ....... too much formalities are not natural in this relation. Keep arguing and taunting each other.

• Never try to be violent and abusive ........... if you don't like anything and situation doesn't allow remain silent. Arguing in public isn't healthy.

• Never share your relationship issues with others ..... never complain of your partner to your families ...... fight your case with each other, discuss with each other ........ there is no need for a third party solution.

• And never ever promise something you cannot fulfill. And remain truthful. But don't be that girly type man who wishes to share how he got his finger bruised and how much its hurting .... remember you are married to a woman.

Love shove is too formal and unrealistic ........ be who you are and let her be who she is.

Above are free of cost advices, anything else you want to ask ......... that would be charged.

Agreed to all except with below.

Keep arguing and taunting each other.

Harmless and playful teasing is fine but that too only to an extent.

Respecting personal space and time is key in a healthy marriage.

 

[Zibago]

Mere samne waley gher main to ek Indian pensioner rehta hai.

Ao kana ye to shokeen nikla
@RealNapster

 

[backlinks1999]

<a href = https://www.shadiyana.pk/list/catering> Great Article <a/>