Here’s why People in Pakistan Stay in Loveless Marriages

[Nefarious]

Can a love marriage turn out to be eventually loveless too? What's to blame?

 

[AUz]

Can a love marriage turn out to be eventually loveless too? What's to blame?

ALL marriages at some point turn to be 'loveless'...atleast for some period of time. That's part and parcel of human nature and union.

Only an idiot teenager (ehm @Divergent) would not know of this fact.

Marital life requires effort, self-sacrifice, and persistence. You can't just be 'in-love' with another human being all the time for 30+ years of union!!!

 

[Divergent]

Hey dumbass, I never said love marriages are by default bound to fail or something. Hell, I did not even make the point of 'marriage success rate' as others have made in their post.

Go and re-read my post and then come back and reply if you have a problem with it.

Burgers like you...born and raised in Europe and fully whitewashed...you are as alien to Pakistan and our culture as a Srilankan would be alien to rural Spanish culture and traditions.

So please, get the f*ck out of here and stop talking about social issues and institutions of Pakistan---you wanna be Pakistani. Probably struggling with identity issues bc you are neither fully Pakistani nor English.

Aww the fact that you need to resort to personal attacks just shows how much it gets to you. Come on, you can do better than that? You do realise I did not write the article but it’s a ‘Pakistani’ site, backed by ‘Pakistani’ rupees written by a ‘Pakistani’.

Nice attempt though, if I was such a ‘wannabe’ I wouldn’t stand for the Europeans and defend them where need be would I? As to how others already perceive me LOL. B*tch please. Don’t tell me what to do because this thread will still remain so unless you’re going to contribute in a non-offensive manner, why don’t you GTFO my thread? Comprende?

‘Loveless’ doesn’t mean romance 24/7, it means empty - there should be friendship, understanding and appreciation.

 

[Divergent]

Bimbo, YOU started the personal attacks in your reply to me FIRST. When I responded, you come back with this cliche' bs line of "ohhh personal attacks? It's getting to youuu!!""....loool, go back to kitchen baji. Internet isn't for girly hearts like you.





That shows how utterly clueless you are about Pakistan and Pakistan's pop culture even.

Sweety pie, the article you posted is from Parhlo....they (along with MangoBaaz) are well-known social media outlets that cater to the paritcular ultra-westoxified burger bachays of Pakistan and especially foreign-Pakistanis. Their websites openly say that. Hell, overwhelming majority of their content contributors are American/English born and raised Pakistanis (by name)! Their content is probably related to 2% Pakistani youth (most of them study abroad and are from there, that is lol!).

Their content is as relatable to Pakistan as Cosmopolitan's content is to Iran. One of these pages even ran campaign about how gay-marriage should be legal in Pakistan

Go to any street in Pakistan...even in Lahore, Karachi wherever...and ask normal people what they think of this proposition? That's how irrelevant these "Pakistani" pages are that you post so admirably.



Lol, how insecure one has to be to ask for validation like that? "Hey hey, I am EUROPEAN!! I DEFEND Europeans when need be!!!"....LMFAOOO!!!

Hey coconut wanna be, you are not European. You are and always be seen as a minority, not the mainstream...but a non-significant minority. You have no country of your own. Not Pakistan, nor UK. I know life must be hard...



Sweety, YOU engaged me and my post that was not even directed to you. If your little girly brain gets so affected by my "offensive" response (awwww, did I hurt you, doll?)---then you can stop responding here with your skank threads about nothing.

Piss off



LOL, you think we are all children here?

Nobody thought of 24/7 romance or lack thereof when we talked about loveless marriage and criticized the dumb article you posted.

Have you ever been in a relationship (one night stands and fu*k affairs not counted)? No matter how genuinely you do care for your partner and see them as your friend and have empathy for them---conflicts do arise, love does gets lost in between sometimes, and times of struggle do hit where your relationship/marriage does become 'loveless' (atleast for a time period)

That's why I stated above that marriage (or any long term relationship) requires self-sacrifice, effort, persistence, and so on. Only cowards or extremely selfish people will leave their 'loveless' marriages/relationships when sh*t hits the fan.

Anyways...may be I'm just being harsh on you for no reason

Do you suffer from short term memory loss, might want to refer to the ‘skank’ statement of your very first post. Your harshness has no impact on me, really. Insecure? LOL - erm I’m the least insecure person on here I assure you because I don’t go sucking up to people for approvals and I’m okay with being hated on. Really. No ones ‘proving’ Anything but if you’re going to make a stupid baseless point which carries no relevance then yeah it’s got to be corrected. But no way proved. Im not debating whether you choose to believe it or not, I stated a fact - take it or leave it is at your accord.

I’m not going to discuss my personal matter and to degrade it to ‘one night stands’ or whatever is pretty pathetic considering you’re a nobody it means absolutely nothing you man slag.

Leaving something isn’t referring to as being a coward, you’re not in their shoes and their not obliged for your explanation or approval. Sometimes it’s the bravest thing one can do - to help their own personal mental state and to break free which is overburdening and suffocating them. Quit being a total jackass

 

[Darth Vader]

@Divergent
Love and Arrange Marriages Have there own Pros And Cons

Majority of love arranges are most about looks , personal gain and few other reasons thats one of the main reason of the high divorce rate

Arrange Marriage and i mean the proper Islamic marriage is a different thing Problem for now current Pakistani society is stuck and confused in old indians and islamic ways and they kinda end up taking everything to extreme screw it up

Arrange Marriage doesnt seem as bad people tend to make it
And arranged marriage doesnt make it a loveless marriage just because they didnt love each other before the marriage my family have tons of arranged marriages and they are the happiest. My few uncles they did love marriage and they are not happy, so could that make love Marriage bad no.

Marriage doesnt matter which kind of it is, its a partnership which needs trust , coruage , respect, patience

 

[Divergent]

@Divergent
Love and Arrange Marriages Have there own Pros And Cons

Majority of love arranges are most about looks , personal gain and few other reasons thats one of the main reason of the high divorce rate

Arrange Marriage and i mean the proper Islamic marriage is a different thing Problem for now current Pakistani society is stuck and confused in old indians and islamic ways and they kinda end up taking everything to extreme screw it up

Arrange Marriage doesnt seem as bad people tend to make it
And arranged marriage doesnt make it a loveless marriage just because they didnt love each other before the marriage my family have tons of arranged marriages and they are the happiest. My few uncles they did love marriage and they are not happy, so could that make love Marriage bad no.

Marriage doesnt matter which kind of it is, its a partnership which needs trust , coruage , respect, patience

I’m not saying arranged Marriages are bad. They’re also successful- it only goes ahead with approval of the individual however families should allow and give them time to get to know each other. There shouldn’t be a pressure.

I also disagree that love Marriages are based on the points you mentioned because those are what mostly arranged Marriages look into. A girl whose pretty comfortable in life would probably downgrade her lifestyle for the sake of love. Or two people who genuinely like and care for each other despite status differences.

 

[Taimoor Khan]

I think what’s it’s suggesting is after years of struggle - when there’s nothing there it eventually does lead to extra martial affairs which is worse!

I do not get the impression that it is about extra marital affairs. Those who want to play, will play regardless, with or without any issues in marriage, lust for women is an addiction, some can control , while others cant. It has nothing to do with the status of marriage.

In a subtle way, they are trying to tell the readers, the Pakistani womenfolk , that hey, you live only once, live your life, live for yourself, do not suffer for others, not even kids. And that is the mentality prevalent in western culture. Women have become heartless and leave their own children just like that on one fine day. I know many , who don't know their mothers but raised by their fathers.

We do not need to change anything in our Pakistani culture. It has been working just fine.

 

[The Eagle]

Do not use unethical, inappropriate and insulting language against each other. No personal attacks are allowed and need to be civilized and continue discussion with manners. Few thread banned and served with warning initially. Seeing repetition of the same again, no reminder would be given but action.

Regards,

 

[Zibago]

So called love marriages have highest divorce rates with many even ending on murders

Divorce rates are higher yes but fun fact even in Pakistan most filers are women

I think what’s it’s suggesting is after years of struggle - when there’s nothing there it eventually does lead to extra martial affairs which is worse!

Risk of etra marital affair worse than broken childhood of the children you two had?

Do not use unethical, inappropriate and insulting language against each other. No personal attacks are allowed and need to be civilized and continue discussion with manners. Few thread banned and served with warning initially. Seeing repetition of the same again, no reminder would be given but action.

Regards,

Trump aint the only deplorable from US that i can assure

 

[Zibago]

Love marriage or no love marriage things change once you have kids. Personally my view of love marriages in Pakistan is that such marriages are purely based on emotions and those film story type lines. No realistic thoughts put to it and that's why such marriages start with rebellion and going against wishes of many close family members. I have seen shocked couples facing difficulty in coping with realities. Be realistic and truthful and any type of marriage would be okay.

No matter how hard you try most of your marriage will be significantly different from initial lovey dovey years there will be times when one side will snap that is where your test starts
@Divergent
But i do agree if compromise is uni-directional the person making compromises has the right to complain or threat

But guys the marriage we have in Pakistan is not balanced. Is does not have miyana ravi i.e middle path, which is sunnah. If it is dysfunctional it is too dysfunctional and getting out of it is too hard. Or it creates too many social problems for all parties.
When it is functional then well and good.

Nothing is balanced people over-spend on wedding just to suffer under debt for years after it @I.R.A

Pull the plug out of Indian channels and Bollywood, most of these issues will resolve by themselves.

The reasons for rise in divorce rates are diverse and complicated just branding them a result of Indian media (which btw encourages women to tolerate bs from inlaws that include financial fraud and domestic abuse directed at them and children) is no way related to rise in divorces inside Pakistan which are driven by diverse issues ranging from drugs to financial problems

 

[Zarvan]

Divorce rates are higher yes but fun fact even in Pakistan most filers are women

Risk of etra marital affair worse than broken childhood of the children you two had?


Trump aint the only deplorable from US that i can assure

Yes most of them end up in roads and many commit suicides and many have no jobs and even family refuse to accept them back so please stop bringing me crap.

 

[Zibago]

A girl whose pretty comfortable in life would probably downgrade her lifestyle for the sake of love.

Um no women rarely date or marry DOWN
That madam is a fact

Or two people who genuinely like and care for each other despite status differences.

Most marriages happen between people of similar socio-economic backgrounds

I’m not saying arranged Marriages are bad. They’re also successful- it only goes ahead with approval of the individual however families should allow and give them time to get to know each other. There shouldn’t be a pressure.

That i agree on to a large degree even if you are arranging marriage do ask approval of both parties so shit doesnot hit the fan few years down the road

Yes most of them end up in roads and many commit suicides and many have no jobs and even family refuse to accept them back so please stop bringing me crap.

You watch too much Samaa khoji

Sister please avoid talking about love as it is only a chemical reaction made by Israeli agents to deceive our Muslim ummah. Please be careful I almost unsheathed my sword.

I have only one true love

Nothing beats the smell of fresh notes on 1st of month
@I.R.A @Mugwop @Musafir117 @PakSword @Moonlight @Spring Onion
No matter how many times i see it i fall in love all over again

ALL marriages at some point turn to be 'loveless'...atleast for some period of time. That's part and parcel of human nature and union.

But if they remain that way for a long period of time the person who feels neglected has a right to tap out but he/she should atleast wait till kids are old so there is minimum affect on their lives in sensitive years

Hey coconut wanna be, you are not European. You are and always be seen as a minority, not the mainstream...but a non-significant minority. You have no country of your own. Not Pakistan, nor UK. I know life must be hard...

Their content is as relatable to Pakistan as Cosmopolitan's content is to Iran. One of these pages even ran campaign about how gay-marriage should be legal in Pakistan

Yes people Pakistan has no loveless marriages because a pampered brought up in the west now unwanted kid in US said so

 

[Taimoor Khan]

The reasons for rise in divorce rates are diverse and complicated just branding them a result of Indian media (which btw encourages women to tolerate bs from inlaws that include financial fraud and domestic abuse directed at them and children) is no way related to rise in divorces inside Pakistan which are driven by diverse issues ranging from drugs to financial problems

Na mate, I don't do this emoji sh|t, it below my level.


Now, coming to main issue, the reason I mentioned the Bollywood and Indian channels, they try to create a parallel universe in the minds of young lot. Away from ground realities and day to day issues. And when these young lot enter into marriages, confronted with real life issues, that's when sh|t hits the fan.

 

[Zibago]

Now, coming to main issue, the reason I mentioned the Bollywood and Indian channels, they try to create a parallel universe in the minds of young lot.

They actually promote stay married no matter what i guess you never watched any Indian programs they have such bs concept of what an ideal marriage is
To them an ideal marriage is one in which the wife is an unpaid house servant and says no to no one

And when these young lot enter into marriages, confronted with real life issues, that's when sh|t hits the fan.

On this factor i do agree people go into marriage with unrealistic expectations

 

[Taimoor Khan]

They actually promote stay married no matter what i guess you never watched any Indian programs they have such bs concept of what an ideal marriage is
To them an ideal marriage is one in which the wife is an unpaid house servant and says no to no one

I have stopped watching Indian non sense decades ago and I ensure none of my kids even know what Bollywood is. All I saw that their media and film industry started aping the western culture and so called women liberalism/freedom aka nakedness and now causing all sorts of crap in their society with rape issue as a glaring example. Too much sas/bahu non sense create that negative impact in the minds of young girls before their marriage.

Our Pakistani culture is based on modesty and decency, at least the one I remember growing up. And through this culture our parents , grand parents and ones before them, keep their marriages and family values intact.