How to prepare for Ghazawa-e-Hind
Our Children,
All the Islamic Greetings to you. Many of you have been asking it for a long time that how to prepare for Ghazawa-e-Hind. In this post of ours we have revealed the secret. This post will tell you the weapon, technology and ideology to be used in Ghazawa.
Red Cap (F*CKERZ):
Children, the red cap which we wear is not just a cap. It is a global satellite from which we monitor the whole world and the headquarter of our imaginative conspiracy theories. This is one of the most vital part of Ghazawa-e-Hind. It prevents unnecessary liberal and sensible thoughts from entering in your head. Yakeen Zaniye…you must buy this from our online store for just 100 Zionist Dollars.
The Cap is different from our red-cap because your mere a follower. The leader must be distinguished. We have decided to name the cap
F*CKERZ (Followers Cap of Khalifa-Er-Rashida Zaid Hamid). The
* means app hamari aankhon ke taare hain (The * signifies you are tinkle of our eyes).
White Horse (WHores):
The next important thing to be used is a White Horse. Yakken Zaaniye (believe us) the color has to be white because the paleet hindus are darker and white is for good looking muslims. The horse should look Muslim in its nature, if you could get a circumcised horse, that would be fantastic. If you cannot get a horse then even a pony or donkey will do the work. We will make him listen to our powerful azan and will turn the donkeys into horses (like we are turning you sensible Pakistanis into Donkeys, likewise). We lovingly call these White Horse as
WHores (W from White and Hores from Horse and pronounced similar to horse with a little W).
Yakeen Zaaniye…ek baar hum apne ghode pe baithe to seedhe Panipat me ruk ke chai peeyengey aur zangal paani ke liey faarig hongey.
(Believe us, once we saddled up we won’t stop until Panipat and in Panipat we will take a tea and pee break).
Mard-e-Momin Sword (MMS):
Our Children, mard-e-momin does not need nukes and jukes. All it take is to awaken the iman (with brain sleeping). With the hausla (courage, in this case, audacity) we will capture red fort in Dilli. Here are some samples of
Mard-e-Momin Swords (MMS).
Yakken maaniye..agar dushman talwar ke war se nahi mara to septic se mar jayega….InshaAllah.
(Believe us, if not by the sword the enemy might die from septic, God Willing ).
Radio Pakistan Delhi (Ra-PaDe):
Radio is an important part of this operation. Remember, one of the main objective of the Ghazawa-e-Hind is to broadcast Radio Pakistan Delhi. We have shortened the name from Radio Pakistan Delhi to
Ra-PaDe (Raw Paadey). Whenever RAW forts we can smell them with these Radios.
We have talked to China and China agreed to supply us Made-in-China radio for free. Alahmdullah!
So dear children don’t forget to carry your radios on the battle. The radio must be FM Radio not just AM. While in India we can also listen to Bollywood songs on our FM Radios. He he…Kaafirs.
Apart from these there few other things which you should do:
- First Rule, never question us or our logic, it will be considered as Gustakh-e-Zaid
- Do not open your mind to save yourself from fasadi soch
- Hate Hindus, Jews, Sikhs and Christians, remember you are not allowed to have soft corner for them
I would like your feedback and your doubts on the Ghazawa preparation.
Yours Sincerely,
Zaid Zaman Hamid
Self Claimed Defense Analyst (BRA STRAP Wale.)