should Pakistan ban dowry and how to go about it.

[EAK]

The practice of dowry given from the bride to the groom will only stop with co-operation from everyone. The young adults have to take this seriously and do some serious discussion with their parents about what’s Islamic and what’s merely a cultural practice, that too one which is unjust and based on exploitation. Dowry is just one of many misconceptions about Islam.But if a Girl want something for herself for her marriage from parents then That's her Birth Right..Allah hum sab ko Hidayat dy..

 

[PakistaniNawab]

Islamicly guys have to pay dowry.

 

[Zibago]

The practice of dowry given from the bride to the groom will only stop with co-operation from everyone. The young adults have to take this seriously and do some serious discussion with their parents about what’s Islamic and what’s merely a cultural practice, that too one which is unjust and based on exploitation. Dowry is just one of many misconceptions about Islam.But if a Girl want something for herself for her marriage from parents then That's her Birth Right..Allah hum sab ko Hidayat dy..

Khud kuch karna parey ga
Beybey ki tusaan akhna voti kulon daj na matalba nahi karna tusaan ik rupay na saman nayi mangna tusaan shoroyat karao tey doye loki start ho sn

 

[Sugarcane]

You mean sons should be handed over everything while girls should be deprived of even dowry.

On a personal note well give girls their due share in property instead of dowry.

Again there the subject of dowry is subjected to detailed debate and assessment of different cultures within our country.

All these years we have been debating this dowry issue on this very forum and every time I had to tell this that dowry and forced dowry two different things but implication of both have demerits in some cases.

Besides the situation in different areas is different for example the culture in KPK is bit different than Punjab (am giving example of these provinces because I grew up in KPK hence know while I have many relatives in Punjab and know the dowry culture there as well). In KpK it is bridegroom and his family that is burdened instead of the bride and her family.

Here dowry is not demanded but if the girl's side want to give anything to their daughter that is their wish while the bridegroom is asked to name some part of the property after the bride also the bridegroom in many cases is forced to give gold (every family of most of the girls has different demand ranging from at least 5tolas to 10 and in few cases it even up to 50 tolas am witnessed to one such case), besides Ha Mehr .

There is still this culture of costing the bridegroom barat ka khana in many areas of KPK.


While in Punjab there is still this culture of asking for dowry by the bridegroom family. The girl's side is even asked to give a car or motorbike in many cases.

Now as far as banning this dowry thing well people won't even the girl side won't agree to that so what we need a law where you can fix the value of total dowry to certain amount. Just like One dish party (Though that is also not followed properly).

BUT yes we need to curb this menace .

You are right culture of dowry is very much different on East side of Indus, old habits don't go easily. Another reason can be fear that bride may bring AK47 and RPG in dowry? Lol..... But anyway it's the thing which society have to do, laws can't prevent it.

 

[Samurai_assassin]

Banning 'Jahaiz' yes! This is a pre Islamic tradition however Hak'mehar is an Islamic right. I certainly did not push for my inlaws to give any Jahaiz. What they chose to give was of their own will and down to their love and respect towards me such as a customery watch.

 

[EAK]

Khud kuch karna parey ga
Beybey ki tusaan akhna voti kulon daj na matalba nahi karna tusaan ik rupay na saman nayi mangna tusaan shoroyat karao tey doye loki start ho sn

I certainly did..papa .. now it's your turn .. make us proud

 

[denel]

In a recent survey released by Gallup Pakistan, 56 percent of Pakistanis believe that it is not possible for a girl to get married without a dowry. I would like to ask participants what they think is the solution to getting rid of this? Should we ban like India did in 1961?
Why Improving female conditions depends on outlawing dowry

Well, this side of the world it is opposite. Men have to pay 'bride' price to the family of the lady; mostly even if south african or any one around in this southern africa, it applies within all african customs. i had to be part of my friend's delegation to negotiate for his lady's family's permission for marriage - it was settled at 15 head of cows - not that cows were bought; but equivalent money was handed.

It is a tradition more now ceremonial.

Why is the woman's family in your cases paying? I thought that was an indian tradition only?

You mean sons should be handed over everything while girls should be deprived of even dowry.

On a personal note well give girls their due share in property instead of dowry.

Again there the subject of dowry is subjected to detailed debate and assessment of different cultures within our country.

All these years we have been debating this dowry issue on this very forum and every time I had to tell this that dowry and forced dowry two different things but implication of both have demerits in some cases.

Besides the situation in different areas is different for example the culture in KPK is bit different than Punjab (am giving example of these provinces because I grew up in KPK hence know while I have many relatives in Punjab and know the dowry culture there as well). In KpK it is bridegroom and his family that is burdened instead of the bride and her family.

Here dowry is not demanded but if the girl's side want to give anything to their daughter that is their wish while the bridegroom is asked to name some part of the property after the bride also the bridegroom in many cases is forced to give gold (every family of most of the girls has different demand ranging from at least 5tolas to 10 and in few cases it even up to 50 tolas am witnessed to one such case), besides Ha Mehr .

There is still this culture of costing the bridegroom barat ka khana in many areas of KPK.


While in Punjab there is still this culture of asking for dowry by the bridegroom family. The girl's side is even asked to give a car or motorbike in many cases.

Now as far as banning this dowry thing well people won't even the girl side won't agree to that so what we need a law where you can fix the value of total dowry to certain amount. Just like One dish party (Though that is also not followed properly).

BUT yes we need to curb this menace .

Indeed even within south african jewish groups, it is the grooms family that bears all responsibility for the marriage ceremony; the girl's family does not need to do anything. Nothing is ever demanded. Just the ceremony and dinner/lunch which follows.

 

[Kaniska]

In a recent survey released by Gallup Pakistan, 56 percent of Pakistanis believe that it is not possible for a girl to get married without a dowry. I would like to ask participants what they think is the solution to getting rid of this? Should we ban like India did in 1961?
Why Improving female conditions depends on outlawing dowry

Do you guys have dowry too??? I thought it is another Hindu peoples issue only...

 

[denel]

Well, this side of the world it is opposite. Men have to pay 'bride' price to the family of the lady; mostly even if south african or any one around in this southern africa, it applies within all african customs. i had to be part of my friend's delegation to negotiate for his lady's family's permission for marriage - it was settled at 15 head of cows - not that cows were bought; but equivalent money was handed.

It is a tradition more now ceremonial.

Why is the woman's family in your cases paying? I thought that was an indian tradition only?



Indeed even within south african jewish groups, it is the grooms family that bears all responsibility for the marriage ceremony; the girl's family does not need to do anything. Nothing is ever demanded. Just the ceremony and dinner/lunch which follows.

Also for the moslems there is no money. It is frowned upon. It is a krugerrand presented in the mosque for the marriage certificate - end of story.

 

[Cookie Monster]

Pakistan and India should ban dowry..... by confiscating the money and imprisoning both the giver and taker....... then the dowry culture will disappear really fast.

It is rather the taker of dowry that deserves harsh punishment to deter anyone from doing it. The giver in most cases is in a sense forced. People who can't afford it even take loans just to be able to provide dowry. If it's not given then the husband and his family often harras the girl or her family. In other cases poor ppl are sometimes unable to marry their daughters.

In any case banning it by law isn't that effective of a method as ppl would try to find loopholes. It needs to be rooted out by educating ppl...I guess the law might help in the meantime.

Do you guys have dowry too??? I thought it is another Hindu peoples issue only...

We have it as a cultural practice. It is not allowed in Islam to force the bride's family for dowry. Her family can freely give her or her husband whatever they desire. It's entirely up to them. However this forced dowry practice is just awful.

 

[krash]

Yes 100% agree ban dowry officially but before that we as a society need to ban that i have a strict condition about my marriage no dowry we need to start from our own homes
@django @The Sandman @Moonlight

Lala, read up on the incident when Hazrat Umar tried to limit dowry. We need to be careful not to infringe upon basic rights of freedom in efforts to curtail any societal ill. The banning of youtube is an excellent example of knee jerk reactions by uneducated lawmakers.

The only way to get rid of this insanity is through education and broad-spectrum social realisation.

 

[Zibago]

Lala, read up on the incident when Hazrat Umar tried to limit dowry. We need to be careful not to infringe upon basic rights of freedom in efforts to curtail any societal ill. The banning of youtube is an excellent example of knee jerk reactions by uneducated lawmakers.

The only way to get rid of this insanity is through education and broad-spectrum social realisation.

If one dish policy can be implemented why not no dowry policy?
Our people only respond at force of danda

 

[ito]

Dowry and forced dowry are two different things. Dowry is a way of allocating inheritance to daughters

 

[S.Y.A]

Simple: insert a clause in the nikah-nama, and ask all registered nikah-khwans to ask about dowry, if the answer is in affirmative, simply refuse to perform the nikah, and the clause should state that nikah cannot be performed nor the marriage registered if the girl is being given a dowry. Or, alternatively, the groom will have to pay an amount equal to the dowry in cash to the bride or pay an equal amount in tax to the govt.

Would be good if marriage ceremony is banned too, a simple nikah in a Masjid and Valima, according to the Sunnah.

 

[LeGenD]

And outright ban is not appropriate. However, dowry should not be a condition for marriage.

If a girl wants to bring some assets with her to her new home (by her own choice), then no harm in it. In-fact, both husband and wife will benefit from those assets and the guy won't be under pressure to purchase everything on his own unless he is a millionaire.

Marriage is not just about love, it is about economics as well.

Otherwise, ban Mahr too.