The headmaster's lecture
Aasim Zafar Khan
Sunday, July 14, 2013
The recently leaked Abbottabad Commission's report on the Osama bin Laden (OBL) killing makes for riveting and tragic reading. Riveting because it reads quite like a Frederick Forsyth novel, with intrigue, danger, excitement, women, and violence. Tragic because it showcases institutional incompetence across the length and breadth of Pakistan's civil, military and intelligence quarters.
But first to the actual leak. If the grapevine is to be believed – and it ought to be believed – at least over official versions, then the OBL report was deliberately buried. Today, I'm told that Al Jazeera, the great bastion of Muslim news broadcasting, somehow acquired the report. What a scoop.
But as is the case in Pakistan, there's always a strange, unwarranted kneejerk reaction. As soon as the report was released online, the Al Jazeera website was blocked across the country.
What the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority doesn't get is that a very large number still made their way to the said document, and there was mass sharing of the document on social media platforms. I personally distributed at least fifty copies. Also funny is how an inquiry is now underway to figure out how it was leaked. Surely that's the most important matter at hand.
The OBL report should be mandatory reading for all Pakistanis. As another columnist wrote, it should be translated in Urdu and all other languages and given maximum airplay. I concur. This document details nearly everything that's wrong with Pakistan.
However, the timing of the leak is nearly godsend. It comes at a time when the country's leaders have 'begun to think about the need for a counterterrorism and national security policy'. And if indeed the government is serious and sincere about coming up with such a policy, then they must go through the OBL report in grave detail.
So what's there in the report? Well, to put it mildly, complete institutional incompetence. From the civvies to the khakis and the spooks: all found to be severely lacking. How this incompetence can be overcome before another US foray into Pakistani territory is anybody's guess, but the most glaring part of the report is how most of the non-civvies spoken to, consider the civvies idiots: the philosophical difference between a bloody civilian and an idiotic civvie.
On numerous occasions, numerous people are on record saying that the 'public doesn't understand...'
Let me be the voice of the public for one paragraph:
Dear Sirs, we, the public, being of limited intellect and intelligence, understand that a) you, either knowingly or unknowingly, let the most wanted man in the world hide in your underpants for a number of years; b) your spooks who supposedly 'are the best in the world' had no idea he was there (or had an idea and didn't tell); c) your defence mechanisms are so 'tight' that you allowed a foreign military incursion into your lands for nearly two hours, and the way you came to know it was on television, and finally by the time you leisurely arrived, the dance was over, and the prom queen was gone.
We understand that either you or yours knew something which we didn't and still don't, or that you really aren't fit for the jobs you're currently doing. But who are we to say? Just idiotic civvies.
To be honest, only two factors really matter. First, that Osama bin Laden shouldn't have been in Abbottabad, or any other area of Pakistan. And if he was, which he was, we should have found him before anyone else. Second, that the United States should not have managed to come in like they did, and manage to do what they did.
Going forward, the question to ask is this: is Ayman al Zwahiri hiding somewhere in Pakistan? Is there any effort underway to find out if he is or not? Have we learnt from the Abbottabad incident to ensure that if the United States decides once again to come deep into our territory, we will be able to stop them in time?
Back when we were in school, we had a very strict Urdu teacher. One of the boys played a prank on him, and the teacher lost it. "Who's the culprit?", he shouted. "Speak now, or else the entire class will be suspended". Nobody spoke. The teacher repeated his warning. Then one boy raised his hand and said, "It was I". Then another, and then another. Pretty soon, all the boys had raised their hands.
The teacher didn't know what to do. The entire class was suspended, and sent to the headmaster for caning. The headmaster, though, didn't cane all forty of us. He sent us back after a small lecture. Every boy smiled at the teacher as he walked in. The teacher was never the same again.
The OBL report is like that headmaster's lecture – it does nothing to ensure that the incompetence and failures that led to the Abbottabad incident won't be repeated.
The writer is a media consultant and trainer