Joke

[Peaceful Civilian]

sTUPID: tujhe bus main thpar kiun para
2ND STUPID:pata nai yar, meri photo aik
larki ki paon mai gir gai, main ne kaha k behan g zara sari upar kar photo leni hai"

 

[RuheTag]

Rumor # 1: Zardari has married a women secretly recently.

Rumor #2 : A new leader of Pakistan is on his way to the world.

 

[Faysii]

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?

One said, Yes I did,

Sardar: Well, it's your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

 

[jha]

Never gets old....

Bhoot 1: tu kaise mara
bhoot2: thand se, aur tu kaise mara
bhoot1:biwi p shak tha pura ghar dund dala
kuch nahi mila sharam se mar gaya
bhoot2:saale ek baar freezer khol leta
dono bach jate........ :p

 

[RuheTag]

Israel's new Cutting Edge Airport Security
TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport
security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with
full-body scanners. It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray
you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.
Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone,
with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the
costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled
explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement: "Attention to all standby
passengers, El Al is pleased to announce a seat available on flight 670 to
London."

Shalom!

 

[lightoftruth]

A radio station in Ireland was running a competition - words that were'nt in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96fm here, whats your name?"
caller:" Hi, me name's Dave"
DJ:"Dave, what's your word?"
caller:"Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced go-an"
DJ:"... You're correct. Dave goan is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali: what sentence can you use that word in to make sense?"
caller:" goan **** yourself"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ:"96fm, what's your name?"
caller:" Hi, me name's Jeff"
DJ:" Jeff, what's your word?"
caller:" smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronunced smee"
DJ:"... You're correct smee is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: what sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
caller:"Smee again! Goan **** yourself!"

 

[karan.1970]

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc."


----------------------------
Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken

 

[karan.1970]

A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

 

[Hyde]

 

[MastanKhan]

A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

So---do you know the science behind it.

 

[p(-)0ENiX]

A 92-year old man visited the doctor for his six monthly check up. The following week, the doctor bumped in to the man walking along the High Street with a flashy woman on his arm.

"I did as you suggested," laughed the man. "Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

"No, no," said the doctor horrified. "I said you've got a heart murmur. Be careful."

Source: Sharpe, J., 2002, The massive adult joke book, Capella, United Kingdom

 

[SajeevJino]

 

[saood_hussain]

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha i didnt read a single joke .. what a joke ..

 

[Peaceful Civilian]

3 men in Saudi

An American, a Dutchman and a Frenchman are in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze.

Then Saudi police rush in and arrest them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia.

For the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished.

The extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each with a whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Dutchman was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Frenchman was next up. After watching the Dutchman in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly.

The American was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the American replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.

The American replied: "Tie the Frenchman to my back."

 

[Developereo]

Warning: might be offensive to some people!