Joke

[MastanKhan]

 

[war&peace]

@PakSword @Farah Sohail @Verve @notorious_eagle @MastanKhan

 

[The SC]

When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass.
Russia used a pencil.

=========================================================

ROBOT FOR SALE:

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

=====================================================

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

====================================================

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

 

[war&peace]

@MastanKhan @PakSword @Verve @Morse_Code

 

[Tea addict]

Alt knights against Communist and degenarates.

 

[mughaljee]

آج میرا چائے پینے کا موڈ بنا تو میں نے سوچا کسی ہوٹل پر جا کے چائے پے لیتا ہوں ٹائم بھی تھورا گزر جائے گا
میں اک ہوٹل میں گیا
ہوٹل کے باہر ہی انھوں نے ٹیبل وغیرہ لگائے تھے
میں اک ٹیبل پے جا کر بیٹھ گیا
اور ٹیبل کے ساتھ والے ٹیبل پر ہی اک لڑکا اور لڑکی بیٹھے تھے میں نے اک نظر ان پے ڈالی اور اپنے موبائل فون میں مگن ہو گیا
تھوڑی ہی دیر بعد چائے بن کر آ گئی
دو کپ ان دونوں کو دیئے اور ایک کپ مجھے تھما دیا
لڑکے نے چائے کا اک گونٹ بھرا
اور لڑکی کی طرف دیکھ کے بولا جانو چائے بہت پھیکی ہے
لڑکی نے مسکرا کے لڑکے کو دیکھا اور چائے میں اپنی انگلی گوما دی
لڑکے نے پھر چائے کا گونٹ بھرا اور بولا اب میٹھی ہے
میں نے بھی اک چائے کا گونٹ بھرا تو وہ سچ میں پھیکی تھی
میں نے سوچا میں بھی چائے میٹھی کرا لیتا ہوں
میں ان کے پاس گیا اور بولا
سنئے پلیز
ان دونوں نے میری طرف دیکھا اور اک ساتھ ہی بولے جی پلیز
میں نے بولا میری چائے بھی پھیکی ہے اس میں بھی آپ انگلی گھما دیں پیلز
اور پھر

چراغوں میں روشنی نہ رہی

 

[MastanKhan]

https://www.facebook.com/

Simply amazing

https://www.facebook.com/

 

[randomradio]

Simply amazing

https://www.facebook.com/

Check this then.

 

[war&peace]

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

 

[MastanKhan]

http://writical.com/right-heres-amu..._campaign=postplanner&utm_source=facebook.com

@Mentee

 

[MastanKhan]

@Mentee @war&peace

 

[mughaljee]

کل میرے ایک دوست کو اس کے ابا جی نےبہت مارا کوٹا تھا ھوا کچھ یوں تھا کہ اسکے ابا جی نے اسے بجلی کا بل جمع کروانے بھیجا اور اس نے ان پیسوں سے لاٹری کا ٹکٹ خرید لیا کیونکہ گاڑی انعام میں رکھی گئی تھی...
جب گھر پھنچ کے اس نے اپنے ابا جی کو صورتحال بتائی تو اسے بہت مار پڑی
لیکن اگلے دن جب صبح صبح سب سو کر اٹھے تو دروازے په کھڑی گاڑی دیکھ کر سب کی چیخیں نکل گئیں ...
سب سے زیادہ میرے دوست کی چیخیں بلند تھیں .....

کیونکہ

گاڑی واپڈا والوں کی تھی جو میٹر کاٹنے آئے تھے
اور پھر اسکے ابا جی نے اسے دوباره کوٹا اور دبا کے کوٹا ۔۔۔۔

 

[MastanKhan]

@Mentee

 

[MastanKhan]

OK----another joke for you kids