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A couple died just before marriage and went to heaven. Since they were still madly in love they went to an angel and asked him to marry them. The angel told them to go back, wait five years and if they still want to get married he will help them.
The couple waited for five years and came back again with the same request, the angel again asked them to go back and think for five more years.
After another five years the couple came back and told the angel that they still wanted to get married, this time the angel arranged for them to get married.
After a few months, the couple started having problems and eventually they decided they didn't want to stay together so they went back to the angel and asked him to get them divorced.

The angel turned red and shouted, you idiots, it took me ten years to find a "Molvi" in heaven, now you want me to find a "lawyer"?
 
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Secret formula for married couples... "Love One Another" And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!

Accountancy fact: What is the difference between Liability & Asset? A drunk friend is liability. But, A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
 
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Complete Joke:
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Rich Little Old Lady...
A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the president's office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."

The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"

"Sure," says the president.

That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet.

The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.

The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them.

"Well, OK" says the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"

She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!"
:lol:
 
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DUMB KID
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
 
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I hate this guy, like REALLY REALLY hate him but what he did with that girl was absolutely right.

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Looks like we both got something in common. Why did you like share lodhis kove btw? care to explain?
 
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Why do u like sahir lodis reaction on that girl?
Because what that girls was talking about, her speech it was basically criticism for the sake of criticism! There was no substance or point in what she was actually saying there. Not just the Quaid part but before that too!!
 
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