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Joke

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!
SH2: What about the sheep?!?
SH1: Screw the sheep!!!!
SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

An Aussie journalist was in New Zealand doing stories where he saw a Kiwi farmer doing unnatural things with a sheep. He approached the Kiwi and firstly asked, "What sort of sheep is that?" He scribbled down the farmer's reply - "a Merino". The next question was, "Do you shear them?" The farmer replied hastily, "No! Go and find yer own!" (You'll need to know how a Kiwi's accent sounds to appreciate this joke!)

( shear / share )

Classic :D
 


After directory assistance gave Anita, her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed him and got a woman.

"Is Jimmy there?" Anita asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Anita said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, Anita dialed again. This time a man answered.

"This is Jimmy," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" Anita exclaimed.

"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

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The Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband : Turn on the blender

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye.

Another day...

Jealous husband: My wife, where are you?

Wife: At home love. Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: Turn on the blender.

Wife: (turns blender on) Rrreeereeeereeee...

Husband: Ok my love goodbye. The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, and finds his son alone and he asked him, "Son where is your mother?"

Son: "I do not know, she went out with blender...
 
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing and would therefore never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about the missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is."

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where's the money?”

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
 
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B'coz.....i am the KING of BIMARU corner.....duh......

BTW, nice profile pic......your skin color blue???
You are the QUEEN of Bimaru.
And yes I am blueeee :devil:

Before loveicon enters here to badger us out of this thread let me escape:crazy_pilot:
 
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