Congress as part of the government of India never instigated nor condoned the Babri Masjid debacle. The statements from various Congress leaders and the actions of the then GoI exonerates Congress and that in itself is sufficient to discuss when it comes to the issue of Congress in that matter.
The Sikh debacle was a suppression of revolt and sedition against the State. Can you dispute that Pakistan would have reacted no different if somebody was holed up in a Masjid storing arms and claiming a certain part of Pakistan to be independent of Pakistan ? If not, then how can you condemn Mrs Gandhi's actions ?
Sanjay Gandhi never enforced sterilization against any particular community or religion. In his mistaken policy, he advocated forced sterilizations against all poor communities. The slum of Delhi which you refer to was a major issue of discontent then since it was retarding improvement of the area and people (of all religions ) living there refused to be relocated. Sanjay's statements relating to that slum was wrongfully slotted in with his statements on forced sterilizations. That injustice was cleared up after his death.
Sanjay hated Muslims ? Wow, your friend must surely be a BJP campaigner