May be that's why I haven't got notification for that bro. I hope you haven't been bluntly truthful in that reply
Sorry I have no links here yar, you will have to bear with it, I am like you in this forum, their world their policies.
Second yeah I never thought why am I not TT
now that you have mentioned I will try to behave
........... but I have this problem I have been taught all my life "First deserve then desire ............ and desire what you deserve" and when there are plenty others lot better than me who don't get to it why should I worry. As long as I don't get censored or targeted for personal vendetta its fine with me.
Ok let me try again, with the potential offensive bits suitably masked for the moral bots here.
@MastanKhan sir, maybe you'd like this as well.
So arranged vs love marriage and the question of lust, hormones, youth, stupidity, immaturity, whatever one might like to call it.
My personal belief (and experience) is that there is no real long lasting sustainable love between man and woman possible that has never had lust, even if the lust has tempered to a less frantic form over time. The obverse need not be true and seldom is; i.e. lust can and often does exist without morphing into love. But true love without true searing lust, between man and woman. No sir. Never. Bakwas!
It is also my experience that marriages break down when the lust (or the less frantic s#xual attraction and compatibility that it settles into after the initial haze) disappears. It is very very rare to find a marriage breaking down when husband and wife still enjoy s#x. With each other of course, I hasten to add ... lol
So if you want to call it lust-cum-arranged, I’m cool, because I do not see lust as bad, and I do not see love without lust. But equally then I would call the other version arranged-cum-lust. Because that's exactly what happens when a girl and boy are thrown together for the first time and given full legal and familial and societal permission and blessing to have s#x and procreate. If the s#x is good, love most always develops over time. If the s#x is pheeka, then there is oftentimes companionship and friendship if the guy and girl are compatible mentally. Not love.
When I see a newly married couple on a bike or at the mall, the girl liptoed all over the guy, all mushy mush, lovey dovey scenes happening in open public, full forearm covered in bright red and gold bangles, tons of brand new gold jewellery, I mentally say awwww so cute and then proceed to grade the couple not on how much in love they are, but the quality of s#x and how much of it they have recently been indulging in.
This of course is the Adil Minhas treatise on love lust and the desi marriage. No one is under any duress to agree!
That said, one must understand that parents are parents because you will always be kids to them. They have lived life. They pick up things about the girl (or boy) and their families and unspoken things which a youngster simply will not sense or will never pick up. So the likelihood of arranged marriages lasting increases. And at least they ensure an attractive start. Though the quality of s#x and chemistry can never have a guarantee until you actually do it.
On the border and people question now. To be honest, yes and no. No, because you know my history and how I see the people of these two new nations. Yes, because the two people have developed differently, under different social, religious, economic and political influences and balances these past 70 years. The normal lifetime of one human being. We are of course similar in many ways. And in many ways we are now very different. So while the border is man-made and relatively new, it would be foolish to do aman ki aasha nautanki and say that it has had no impact on us at a basic level as a people. As individual and collective people. I also do not know anything about you guys besides what I have learned here. How representative is it of the rest of Pakistan mulk? How representative are we here of the rest of India? Are there sampling biases and what is the size of the subsequent errors?
On the slave question (which I call junglis) I share your feelings of frustration and hopelessness. And have had some more in the recent past. Firstly, and I am sorry to say it, but it comes from deep inside, we are really very dirty people. We are not dirty in our houses. But outside the walls of our homes our dirtiness starts. I am frankly disgusted. And it is across strata of society. The other day I was talking to a friend of mine. His wife is a doctor, and because they have small kids, they have built a clinic and waiting room in their compound. They have a huge ancestral bungalow. So the patient's waiting room has a bathroom. And 9 times out of 10 patients use it and do not close the door afterwards. Why? Do they not close the door of the bathroom at home? Then why not at the doctor's clinic? Small things like these frustrate you. Educated richie rich high class people man ...
Coming to the slave bit. Our problem is that as a people we have been humped for quite some time now. Forget our rajas and maharajas. Common people. For some time now, many centuries easily, India has not been a land of milk and honey. People have been sucked dry. Grinding poverty. Hunger. Injustice. Servitude. Exploitation.
Now we have freedom. But what did freedom mean to these lowest level people? Rajas and maharajas changed. Nothing more. Resources are too few. Population exploding. And on top of it education creeping in. Media creeping in. People becoming aware of the "other" world beyond their reach. And now beginning to harbor aspirations.
But there are no short cuts. And everyone cannot be a successful goonda or politician. So its every man and woman for him or herself. Look out for No. 1. B@lls to rules and regulations and law and other peripheral frivolities. How to get ahead by hook or crook by the easiest shortest and most painless way. Everyone. Its become our culture. We are a poor country or poor people who see some very obscene wealth around them. I believe that we are not on the cusp but well into the throes of a class war. That is the civil war India faces. Not communal. But class divide. And there is an implosion coming.
There is hardly any room for me to disagree. It's hard to disagree with reality actually, and you have brilliantly penned down (which I agree) is reality.
