SMS Thread!!

[Xeric]

Behtreen Insan Amal se pehchana jata hai.
Warna Achi Baaten to Altaf Bhai bhi kartey hain.

---------- Post added at 01:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:51 PM ----------

The "will be ready in 5 minutes" of a Woman & the "will call you back in 5 minutes of a Man"
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are same... :p

---------- Post added at 01:51 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:51 PM ----------

Pakistni Boy to U.S girl.
Hm 8 Bhai & 9 Behnain hn,
aap K Kitny hn?
U.S Girl
Mry Bhai, Behan Nhi
Lekin Pehli Ammi Sy 4 Abbu Aur Pehlay Abbu Se 6 Ammiyan Hen.

---------- Post added at 01:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:51 PM ----------

مھے یاد ھو کہ نہ یاد ھو.........
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اب پ ت ٹ ث ج چ ح خ د ڈ ذ ر ڑ ز ژ س ش ص ض ط ظ ع غ ف ق ک گ ل م ن و ھ ۂ ی ے ;-)

---------- Post added at 01:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:52 PM ----------

A Cop stops a Drunk Man and asks: "Where are you going?"
He replies: "I'm going to listen to the lecture about the harm of alcoholism?"
Cop says: "At Night?? And who will give you the Lecture?"
"My Wife and Mother-in-Law", replies the Drunk Man.

 

[Xeric]

.1 Sardar Resturent pe soop pi raha tha. Boy: Sardar G soop wich makhi Aey... Sardar: Fir ki ho gaya Dil wadda hona chaida, makhi ne kina pe lena aey.?

---------- Post added at 07:37 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:37 PM ----------

(Mehman Nawazi)
Host:Lassi tusi pinday Nai,Chaa Asi Plani Nai,Roti da Time Nai,Bottle da Mosam Nai,Hoon da so,ki kariey? Guest:Balance e load krwa deyo janab.!

---------- Post added at 07:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:37 PM ----------

A boy goes to hs mom with a puzzled look on his face n ask.
"Y is my big bro namd Mighty Storm"?
"Bcoz he was conceivd during a mighty storm" she said.Then he askd "Why is my sis namd Cornflower"?
"Well ur dad n I were in a cornfield when v made her" she replied.
He then askd "And y is my other sis calld Moonchild"?
"V were watching moon-landing whn she was conceived"
Mom paused n said 2 son...
"Tell me,Torn Rubber, y r u so curious about names"?

---------- Post added at 07:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:38 PM ----------

: 1 Aadmi ne FM radio pe call ki..

Aadmi: Mjy 1 wallet mila hai jis me boht sary paisy, credit cards aur NIC card hai. Address Gulshan e iqbal ka hai..

Host: To ap unhein wallet wapis dena chahty hain..?

Aadmi: hi hi hi hi hi hi Nhi G..
Usy meri trf se Sad Song dedicate kr dein..!

---------- Post added at 07:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:39 PM ----------

Log kahte hain k 1 larki k parhne se sara ghar taleem yafta ho jata ha.
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Lekin us lrki k collg jaane se 40 larke fail ho jaate hain.
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Uska kya kraien.:-

 

[AHMED85]

4 U

Lazim nahi k zindagi dolat se malamaal ho ''Wasi''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Hum tu achey doston ko he zindagi k bari dolat samjhte hain

 

[Xeric]

Lovers Messages In Different Pakistani Cities:
ISLAMABAD
Jan..Chalo aj CHINESE Resturnt M Diner Mri Traf S,
LAHORE Janu
Kahan ho Tm?
Ek Ghanty sy Colge k Gate py khara Hon,
QUETTA
Jan,
What a Mosam
Chalo Akhrot Khaty hain
KARACHI
Janu
Kahan Ho Tum?
Abi firing Hui hy,
Mar To Nai gai tm?

---------- Post added at 08:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:04 PM ----------

Murghi ne 3 anday diye aur dua mangi keh
Meri aulaad siyastdan banay.
Jab aik anda toota tu
Imran Khan nikla,
Jab doosra toota tu
Nawaz Sharif nikla,
Jab teesra anda toota hi nahein tu
murghi pareshan hogai,
Itne mein anday se aawaz aai:
Ammi main
Altaf Hussain hon,
Sirf phone pe rabta rakhon ga..

---------- Post added at 08:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:05 PM ----------

Grl:
Darling jb tme meri yad ati hy to tm kia krte ho?
Boy:
Mai tmari favrite icecream kha leta hu.
Or tm?
Larki (gusse se):
Mai ik Goldleaf p leti hu

---------- Post added at 08:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 PM ----------

1 admi ka 1Cror ka bond nikla.Compny ne socha achank batane se khushi se mar skta hy,1 Pathn ko beja k usko aise batao k Heartfail na ho us ka.
Pathn ne ja k us Admi ko bola farz karo ap ka 1Cror nikle to pehla kam kia karega
Admi:Adha Tumhen dunga.Pathn khushi se mar gya.

---------- Post added at 08:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 PM ----------

Sometimes when i m alone
I look at people like
zrdari
yusuf gilani
altaf bhai &
I wonder " is that the sperm that won out of millions " :-D

 

[Xeric]

On weding nite, dulha kamray mei atay huay chair se takra k gir gya
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Dulhan: (ghabratay huwe) aray arif bhai aram se
MORAL:aur karo family main shadi..

---------- Post added at 08:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 PM ----------

Aik mahinay mai 4 comedians
Liaqat soldier
Babbu Baral
Mastana
aur Moin Akhter ka inteqal hogia.
Ya Allah Qaid e tehreek Altaf Bhai ko Salamat rakhna.

---------- Post added at 08:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 PM ----------

Girl: Is suit ki kya price hai?
Dukandaar: 1500
Girl: "Uff"
or wo pink waly ki price kya hai?
Dukandar: "uff"+"uff"

---------- Post added at 08:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:26 PM ----------

Teacher:
Africa me intehai Ghurbat Hy, pehan'ny or Khany Ko Kuch Nahi.
Achanak 1 bachy ny Bari Masomiyat Sy Pocha..
Sir...!
Kiya Wahan b
"BHUTTO" zinda Hy?

 

[Xeric]

Positive thinking is that:
'U look up in the sky a bird shyts on ur face,
U dont mind,
U dont cry,
just say
'Shuker ey Mola majjaan nai ud' diyan.

---------- Post added at 07:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:07 PM ----------

Teacher:jo andr aany k liye sb se chota jumla boly ga,usy gift mily ga
English child: may i come in?
Urdu child:mey andr a skta hun?
Punjabi:
Awaan.;-)

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¤ ROTI Vs SMS ¤~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2003
1 sms = 7 Rs
1 roti = 2 Rs
2004
1 sms = 5 Rs
1 roti = 2.5 Rs
2005
1 sms = 2 Rs
1 roti = 3 Rs
2008
1 sms = 23 pesa
1 roti = 5 Rs
2011
500 sms = 4.77 Rs
1 roti = 7 Rs
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2015
No roti
Only sms..:-

 

[Xeric]

America main bed se takiye uthaaen to Dolar nazar atay hain.
India main bed se takiye uthaaen to Cinema tickets nazar atay hain.
Or
Pakistan main bed se takiye uthaaen to hath walay pankhay nazar atay hain...

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:17 PM ----------

1 kisan ne apny khait me putla lagny k bajy Altaf Bhai ka photo lga dia
ap soch nhi skty k kya hwa
kaway jo pichly sal gandum le gy thy,wo bhi wapis ley aaye.

---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:18 PM ----------

Child: what is politics ?
Father: I run the home so, I am government,
Ur mom is opposition,
Our maid is working class,
we all look after U,
So, U are people,
&
Ur younger brother is future,
This is Politics.
At night child heard his brother crying as his nappy was dirty.
He went to mother, she was sleeping,
Then he went to maid's room,
Where he saw his father having sex with maid.
He went back to sleep,
Next day boy to father,
"Now I undrstand politics clearly"
Govrment is ******* working class,
&
Oposition is sleeping,
People r ignord
&
Future is in deep ****...

 

[eik_pagall]

¤ ROTI Vs SMS ¤~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2003
1 sms = 7 Rs
1 roti = 2 Rs
2004
1 sms = 5 Rs
1 roti = 2.5 Rs
2005
1 sms = 2 Rs
1 roti = 3 Rs
2008
1 sms = 23 pesa
1 roti = 5 Rs
2011
500 sms = 4.77 Rs
1 roti = 7 Rs
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2015
No roti
Only sms..:-[/QUOTE] If Zordari stayed than there will b no rooti

---------- Post added at 07:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:28 PM ----------

For Rooti ppl have to eat grass
Kapra only for dead bodies (cloth's Coffin)
Makaan only for dead bodies (Grave)

 

[Xeric]

Golden Words written on "Riksha"
. *Qismat Aazma chuka hun Muqaddar aazma raha hun Kisi be-wafa ki khatir Riksha chala raha hun

. *Sawari Labbay na Labbay Speed Ek So Nabbay

. *Jis ne Maa ko Sataya Us ne Riksha chalaya

. *Lag gai te rozi Na Lagi te roza

. *dekhnay main doli Chalnay main goli.*

*Maa ki dua jannat ki hawa Baap ki dua ja beta riksha chala..

Ferrari ka Baap, Nissan ka Nana Yeh rikshaw chala raha hai Pathan Deewana

---------- Post added at 08:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 PM ----------

A couple went to A farm.
A bull was Breading the cows.
Lady asked the manager, " how many times the bull can. .?"
Manager: "5 to 6 in a day."
Lady looked at hr Husband & said, "you see ?"
Husband asked the manager, "is it the same cow every time?"
Mangr: No Sir, every time it is A different cow."
Man looked at his wife & said,
"You See ?

---------- Post added at 08:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:07 PM ----------

1-Aadmi ne morgi pakri
jab ghar aya to dekha
Na Gas
Na Aata
Na Bijli
Na Oil
Aadmi wapas morgi ko gali me chor aya
morgi bhagte hoy zor se chilai
JIYEEEE BHUTTO.

 

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Ship doob rha tha.
Angraiz: Yahan se Zameen kitni door hy?
Sardar: 1 k.m
Angraiz ne Samundar me Jump Lga k Pucha kis taraf?
Sardar: Thallay nu Thallay nu.

---------- Post added at 08:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:02 PM ----------

Dubai De Doctoro....
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Tussan Changi naen keeti.;->

---------- Post added at 08:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:03 PM ----------

Steve Jobs is now working in heavens with super genious angels to make an "i-wife"
Slim design, beauty with brains and, most importantly, a mute button....!!

---------- Post added at 08:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:04 PM ----------

POPE ORDERED
"Males will not use Condoms &
Females will not use Contraceptives".
A Shapely Female got up & Said:
"If U dont play the game, Dont make the Rules".

 

[Xeric]

CNN se raat ko us american foji ne interview dety hue kaha, Jisne Abbotabad opration mai hissa lia tha, k jab hum USAMA BIN LADIN ko pakerny gae to 3rd floor pr pohanch k mai ne dekha k 1 room mai light on hy, mujhe shak hua k is room mai koe hy, mai ne ahista se darwaza khola or heran hua k USAMA mere samny 1 khubsurat libas mai khra hy, mai ne usko hands up kaha, mai soch rha tha k mar dun ya zinda pakrun, Usama ne dayan hath apni jaib mai dala, mai ne boht smjhaya k don't move, but Usama ne jaib se aik packet nikala or meri tarf phenka or kaha
(MAZA AWAMI TE KHA BADAMI)
Ghor sy parhne ka shukriya.

 

[Xeric]

Arrange marriage is
while u r walking unfortunately a snake bites u
Bt luv marriage is
dancing in front of a cobra and singing,WANNA B MY CHHAMAK CHALLO!

---------- Post added at 03:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

U.S.A:
Hmare Bandar Football Khelte Hain
JAPAN:
Hmari Fish Dance Karti Hai
CHINA:
Hmare Haathi Cycle Chlate Hain
PAKISTAN:
Hmare Khotay Govt Chalate Hein..

---------- Post added at 03:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Judge:-
Kiya proof hai k tum car speed mai nai chala rahe thay ??
Man:-
Sir,, mai apni biwi ko lene susraal jaraha tha
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Judge:-THAT'S ALL,
Case dismissed

---------- Post added at 03:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Girl : Mein Us Aadmi Se Shadi Karungi, jo roy to Mujhay Hansi aa jai ..
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Boy : 0o teri kher! ALTAF bhai pe nazar he tumhari..

---------- Post added at 03:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 AM ----------

Sheikh ne Bivi ka 15 rupy Sadqa utara or Us 15 rupy men 85 dal k Card load karwa lia,
Bivi: Ye Kya kia?
Sheikh: Sadqa Govt ko chala gya
Balnce Mery pas aa gya

 

[Xeric]

Ok wait...wait...this one is THE Mother of All SMS:

Larki ashiq ki qabr pr ro rahi thi.
Molvi: Q rooti ho?
Larki: 1 kiss mangty mangty mar gya me ne ijazt na di
Molvi: Tm mjhe de du, me parh k bakhsh do'n ga.

 

[Xeric]

Be'izzati or B.V dono ek jaisi hoti hen,
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Achi tab lagti hen jab dusre ki hun.

---------- Post added at 03:18 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:18 AM ----------

Maalkin: Tum 3 din se kaam pe nahi aayin aur Bataaya b nahi?
Nokrani: "Baji, main ne to facebook pe status update kar dya tha k
''Going to Gaaon for 3 days''
Saab G ne comment b kia tha... K
''Missing u, come Soon.'';-):p

---------- Post added at 03:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:18 AM ----------

PIA Pilot to Control Tower:

"This is PK-747.

I am 300 Miles from land, 600 Feet Over Water, with No fuel.

Awaiting Instructions, Over..!"

Control Tower:
"Kalma parh ley, Over!

---------- Post added at 03:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:19 AM ----------

Teacher- Batao kutt@ dum Q Hilata Hai ...?
Pathan- Q k dum Me Itni Takat Nhi Hoti K Wo Kutte Ko Hila Sake....
Seedhi Baat
No Bakvas
Naswar 3G

 

[Xeric]

If a WIFE is quiet,
which day is it..???
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Who cares,,,,,
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just enjoy the day...!!!
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Its very rare.....

---------- Post added at 04:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:17 PM ----------

Father to Son:
Agar is bar tu fail hua to mujhe apna baap mat kehna.
Next Day:
Father: Kiya bana result ka?
Son: Bas
"Mushtaq Bhai"
mat pocho...

---------- Post added at 04:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:18 PM ----------

Pathan Mobil compny me job leny gaya
Pehly hi swal k jwab pr use maar maar kr bhaga dia gaya
Swal tha:
Sab sy mashoor Network kis ka hy?
Pathan:
AL-QaiDa ka.

---------- Post added at 04:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:19 PM ----------

Cho sho mi cha re sha mi choo rash ti ta she rash
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Nai samj i??
Kanjro sady kolon bijli ly lo
From;(china)

---------- Post added at 04:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:19 PM ----------

Larki: peer Ji Mujhe ilm Sikhayein
Peer:Zra Qreeb Aao,
Larki: peer Ji Aap Mujhe Kis To Nhi Krein ge?
Peer: dekha Tujhe ilm Hona Shuru Ho gaya Hai:-D