SMS Thread!!

[Xeric]

Lawyer 2 Doctor during cross-examination in Court :
B 4 u performed the Post-mortem, did u check his pulse?
DR: No
Lwyer: his BP?
Dr: No
Lwyer: his breathing?
Dr: No
Lwyer: so how did u know he was dead?
Dr: bcoz his brain was in a jar on my table.
Lwyer: but its stil posible he could hav been alive.
Dr: yes its posible,he could have been Alive and practising law somewhere.

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3 Poltri Forms ki Inspection ho rhi thi
Inspector:Tum Choozo ko kya dety ho
Pthan: Bajra
Inspector Wrong Food
Arest him
Inspector:Tum kya dety ho
2nd Pthan: Rice
Inspector:
ghalat hy & arest him
3rd was Sardar, ghabra k bola:
Assi ty sary ChooOcheyan nu 5, 5 rupy dy deny aan k jo mrzi kha Lo...

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An Army Unit had severe shortage of socks. One day the CO said,
"Soldiers! There is good news & there is bad news.
The good news is you are going to change your dirty old socks & the bad news is that, you are going to EXCHANGE them amongst you."
This is DEMOCRACY in Pakistan: We keep on choosing the same rotten old LEADERS. They just change parties or positions.
Thus System Remains CONSTANTLY ROTTEN!

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Father : hey Son! why is yOur mother sitting so silent today?
Son: nothing Dad. She asked for lipstick and i heard
" GLUE STICK "
Father : God bless u my son

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Dozakh mein bohat saarey log masti kr rahay thay
Shaitan ne poochha, ye kon log hein jo yahan aish kar rahay hein
Frishta : Artillery waaley hain,
kambakhat har jagah adjust ho jaatey hein. Keh rahay thhay bilkul unit wala mahole hay

 

[Hyde]

 

[Xeric]

EID MUBARIK...
Frm Pakistan Railway..
"Always on time"
;-)

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Instructions do matter:
A man ordered a birthday cake for his wife
Salesman:What should be written on it?
He thought & said: write "you are getting older but better"
Salesman: How do u want me to write it?
Man, Well... Write
"U R GETTING OLDER" at the top and "BUT BETTER" at the bottom.
When cake was unveiled at the party, all guests were amused at
the msg on the
cake.
It
read:
"U r getting older at the top, but better at the bottom"

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Birth Control Pills should be for men.
*
*
*
It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

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Sardar:
Yar main 2 mushkilon me phans gaya hun
Frnd:
Vo konsi?
Sardar:
Bv Makeup Karay Te Kharcha Bardasht Nhi Hunda,
Je Na Kry Te Bv Bardasht Nhi Hundi

 

[Xeric]

Teachr: Wat wil u do aftr growng up?
Studnt: Facebooking
T: No! I mean wat wil u Becum?
S: Admin of facebook pages-)
T: O My G0d! I Mean wat wil u Acheve aftr u grow up?
S: Faceb0k Admin Rights
T: Idiot! I Mean wat wil u do 4 ur Parents?
S: I create a page 4 thm on facebooK. Luv Mom n Dad:*
T: Stupid! Wat do ur parents want frm U?
S: My facebook password
:p
T: oh God!Wat is da prpose of ur Life?
S:Facebook bt nvr face a book:-D

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Agar apki girl friend p0rey r0zey rakhti ha
.
.
.
to wo ap ke lye bOht ch0ti hai
POGO PLZ

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When women are talking to each other,..
The devil sits in the corner quietly
and
.
.
.
.
.
Learns..!

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Sheikh g Mithai ki DUKAN pe gya or 1/2 kg gulab jamun le kr udhar hi kha gya, bagher payment kiye
Dukandar ne Sheikh ko khoob maara
Maar khanay k baad
Sheikh:
Ab main jayun?
Dukandar:
Dafa ho ja
Sheikh ne kapray jharay aur ek tareekhi
Jumla kaha
.
.
"Isi rate pe 1/2 kg parcel b kar do"

 

[Last Hope]

Dozakh mein bohat saarey log masti kr rahay thay
Shaitan ne poochha, ye kon log hein jo yahan aish kar rahay hein
Frishta : Artillery waaley hain,
kambakhat har jagah adjust ho jaatey hein. Keh rahay thhay bilkul unit wala mahole hay

Artillery walay tou ab TT ki leadership mein bhi adjust ho gaye hein

 

[S.U.R.B.]

Veena malik ki tehrik e Insaf mein shamuliat ke bad imran khan sae Rasmi guftgu.

 

[Xeric]

Artillery walay tou ab TT ki leadership mein bhi adjust ho gaye hein

Bus bhai apki dua chahiye....

 

[Xeric]

Agar "wall chalking" ko daikh k faisla kya jaye to Pakistan k 3 barray massayl hain:
.
1. Gora Rang.
.
2. Kala Jadoo.
.
Aur
.
3. Mardana kUmzori..


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BREAKING NEWS..
Raat 12 bje sy Subah 8 bje tk miyan aur biwi k sath sonay pr bhe Pabandi.
Dehshat Gard paida hone ka khtra.
Rehman Malik.

------------

Mobile Aya P.C.O Khatam,
Mobile Aya Watch Khatam,
Mobile Aya Torch Khatam,
Mobile Aya Tape Khatam,
Mobile Aya Khat Khatam,
Mobile Aya Radio Khatam,
Mobile Aya Calculator Khatam,
Mobile Aya Camera Khatam,
Mobile Aya Eid Card Khatam,
Phir.....
Rehman Malik aaya Mobile Khatam

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Larkay or larki ki new setting hui,
Larka:Tum kya krti ho?
Larki:Mera beauty porler hy men dulhan tyar kerti hon, or Tum batao,Tum kya krtay ho?
Larka:Men dulha tyar krta hon.
Larki: oh to kya Tumhara bhi beauty porler hy?
Larka: nhi,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Men Hakeem hon...!

 

[Xeric]

Judge sahib pagal khanay k doray pr
Pagal: judge Sab aik cigarette aur machis to dain
judge ne di aur doctor se bola:
Ye pagal to theek or hosh me hy. Me is ka notice loonga aur zimadaron ko jawab dena hoga
Pagal ne cigarette ka tambakoo apne sir pr dala aur machis se aag lga di.
Phr apni dhoti utha kr bola:
Lo judge Sb, Huqa peo
Moral: Bat bat pe Suo Moto acha nai hota

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Most critical situations in Army ...
Jawan saying: I have understood..
JCO: Leave it to me..
Lt: Based on my experience..
RMO: Oh my God..
Maj: I was thinking..

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Never Approach
A MAD BULL from Front,
DONKEY from Behind,
&
A FOOL from ANY Direction.
&
Always Remember
"AN ANGRY WIFE" is
"A COMBINATION of ALL 3".

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Nafsiati Mariz:
Muje shadi nai krni, muje sab aurtain buri lagti hain.
Doctor:
Shadi kr lo. Tumhe sirf 1 aurat buri lage gi baqi sab achi lagney lagen gi

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

Most critical situations in Army ...
Jawan saying: I have understood..
JCO: Leave it to me..
Lt: Based on my experience..
RMO: Oh my God..
Maj: I was thinking..

Col: Let me explain

 

[Abu Zolfiqar]

Larkay or larki ki new setting hui,
Larka:Tum kya krti ho?
Larki:Mera beauty porler hy men dulhan tyar kerti hon, or Tum batao,Tum kya krtay ho?
Larka:Men dulha tyar krta hon.
Larki: oh to kya Tumhara bhi beauty porler hy?
Larka: nhi,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Men Hakeem hon...!

arrey bhai papu yaar; jo shaadi karta hy usko koi doctor koi hakeem shmakeem nhi bajha saakta......wo bajtha rhyga

 

[Xeric]

A brig cracks a joke in a meeting, evrybody laughs except a capt. Brig: u didn't understand the joke?
Capt: i did sir, but i'm not from your brigade...!

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1 punjabi masjid me elaan krne gya to usy bari maar pari
Q k
wahan mike me current tha
Punjabi mike ko Hath
lgaty he bola
Hazraaat
O tohadi pehn nu ***

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Sardar declares on TV dat his land in Patiyala rises above 2" in summers n goes back to original lvl in winters. Geologists of world got excited and reachd sardar's land to observe this bizarre mov of earth. But no such thing happened.They askd saradar how did he observe this.
Sardar:"when I sit down to piss in summer my balls touch the ground while in winters there is a 2" gap".

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Happy 2099....
.
.
.
.
.
I m the 1st who wished you... Pata nhi Qabar wich signal aan k nhi...

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3 banday hajj nahi kr sktey!

1) Asif zardari, Q k koi shakhs apney ap ko pathar nai mar sakta!

2) Altaf hussain, Q k hajj telephone pe nahi ho sakta!
3) Nawaz sharif, Q k koi shakhs 1 crore ka hair transplant kar k tind karwanay ki ghalti nai karey ga!

 

[Xeric]

.Pathan: sr k bal jldi sfaid hote hen neche k Q ni?
2nd pathan:Q k neche k bal sr k bal se 15 sal chote hote hen
Hnso mt
phli dfa pthan ne 100% sahi bat ki hi.

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Dil ko sab se ziyada dard kab hota hai.
Jab pyar mai dhoka ho?
Nai
Jab exam mai fail ho?
Nai
Jab koi qeemti cheez chori ho jaye?
Nai
Phir kab dil ko dard hota hai?
,
,
Jab mobile charging pe laga kar jayen or 2 ghante baad aayen to switch hila hua ho.
(' .')
<) (>
/_ /_ Kinne switch nu ungal diti ae..

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1 Bacha : Mere abu ki hieght itni lambi hy k chalte fan ko rok lete hain,
2 Bacha : Mere abu ki bhi hieght bohat lambi hy,lekin unki **** main Keera nhi hai.

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STORY 2011:
Ek ghareeb larka udasi ki halat main ja raha tha k usko ek charaagh mila..
Us nay wo charaagh khushi say utha liya.
Jab us nay usko hath say ragrra to..
.
Vo ek zordaar dhamakay say phatt gaya..
7 afraad halaak,
12 zakhmi..
(' ') aladin ka dor gaya beta..

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New research. Jarabon k smell sy machr mr skty hain is sy maleria control krny mei help mly ge, pakstani reaction : socks ly lo mehnge ho jaein ge

 

[Xeric]

Girl: Paroos wali Buddhi aunty mujhe bohat tang karti theen..
Jab kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti "AB TUMHARI BAARI HAI"
Phir unhone aisa karna band kar diya?
pata hai Q.??
Frnd: Q?
.
Grl:Jab koi Mar jata tou mai un k Gaal kheench k kehti..
"AB AAP KI BARI HAI".

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Larka: Tum light Jane K Baad Kya Karti Ho?
Larki: Kuch Khaas Nahi.
Larka: Hanste Huey ***** Bhi To Nahi Hain Tumhare Pas Warna Masroof Rehti

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"Aur dunya ki roshniyon mein mat kho jao. yaad kro uss andharay ko jo qabar mein tumhray saath ho gaa".
An Islamic Msg from WAPDA !! :

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Molvi sahb was online on fb
Aadmi: Molvi sahab kal mere bete ne cigrette pi aur jab mene usse maara tou usne mri shirt phaar di
.
.
Molvi: Lolz

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"NOTICE AT CHURCH" Please do not leave your Mobiles, Wallets, Handbags,
or Girlfriends,
"UN-ATTENDED"
As others may think it is an answer to their prayers.!

 

[chauvunist]

Old Stories in New Pakistan....

1-Piysa kawwa urr rha tha, achanak nechay usay pani aur kuch kankar nazar aye.Jaisay hi wo pani mein kankar dalnay k lye nechay utra to namaloom afraad ki firing se halaak ho gya.

2-Kuttay ne qasai ki dukan se gosht churaya.Wo pani mein apna aks dekh rha tha k sailabi rela usay baha k le gya.

3-Kachwa aur khrgosh ne race shuru ki.Khargosh k sotay hi kachwa uska mobile aur qeemti saman le k farar,police dhoondny me nakaam.

4-Aladin ny charag ragra to wo zor dar dhamaky se phat gya aladin samait 4 afrad janbahk, mutadid zakhmi, taliban ne zemadari kabol krli.