What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Divergent]

nah and no my parents understand in general that children have to separated. To them their kids are their kids and not their retirement plan that they could leech on to. All of my older siblings have moved on and are living with their respective spouses. I am moving away soon (yes no marriage, just turning 18).
And ill follow this if i am to have kids of my own. They need to move on once they turn 18, if i leech onto them, i shouldnt have kids in the first place.

We siblings visit our parents, maybe check on them once in a while, but living together even when we are adults? nah


this ^^^^^

Girl I gotchu covered

 

[Divergent]

@Manama We are out off league

#YouCantTouchThis

Haha!

 

[abdulbarijan]

Why do i care lol? im still a minor.

Ofcourse, that explains the self centrism, the lack of realism and the lack of the ability to actually question your own views.

I speak about what i see, the lives I see being destroyed, those toxic marriages. YEs economic problems are a thing and ofcourse it should be because you can't marry someone else if you can't support yourself. So instead of coming at us for demanding someone who can support us, maybe you shouldnt approach anyone before you are ready to support them. Heck even i would see my economical situation before marrying my boyfriend.
Your arguments are trash because those are necessities of life, if you go ahead and still live at your parent's house at 18 go ahead, don't go whining about it when you have joint family problems especially when our religion itself gives us right to be separate straight after marriage.

-Here is the reality of the situation child. More or less half of the Pakistani population is poor based on the metric one uses (e.g. MCPI/ UN 2$ line). None of the things I mentioned in my previous post were about curbing basic necessities, they were questioning as to, if women are open to lowering their living standards if they want to live in separate homes as opposed to a joint family. As previously stated the joint family presents a significantly more cost effective residential arrangement ..... thereby freeing cash to be spent elsewhere ...

Hence the contention ... Put your money where your mouth is ... If the economic argument to live in a joint family is trash as you say ... then by all means leave those cost benefits and lower your living standards. That is ultimately the cost that one has to pay. Economics101, there is no such thing as a free meal.

Now if your going to say that you can just find someone who can maintain that level of living standard even while living alone... then going by the numbers, the average age for a Pakistani girl to get married is around 22-23. Someone whose earning a large and stable enough income to support the standard usually demanded is atleast 30 in the best case scenario, which is an age gap of atleast 7-8 years, not unheard of in the last generation, but definitely more frowned upon in the current one.Add to that the fact that economy is very unpredictable, you mess with one variable and suddenly everything is going berserk. Back in 2008 during the recession, Lehman brothers, General motors, CIT group, Chryslar etc. went bankrupt. Each company had assets worth OVER 40 BILLION US DOLLARS ... Bottom line .. nothing is for certain ... especially money ..

-Lastly, lemme give you a couple more things to think about since you "see the lives being destroyed"..... ... Do look around and search for all those 27/28+ year olds who are struggling to get married because they and their families rejected the good offers made to them, because "the guy doesn't drive a Mercedes" ... Now that their physical beauty is on the decline .... add to that, the complications these women can face in terms of fertility etc. her chances of getting married grow slimmer and slimmer each day. So my question to you is ... what about them?

There is a reason why even after all the rights, the religion affords the individuals, it also says to make nikkah easy. So while we have alot to say about dowry, let's not ignore the unrealistic standards set by women and their families in terms of material, which benefits no one and ultimately comes back to haunt the same women setting those standards.

 

[Divergent]

It's okay when we are young but unacceptable when we have grown old.

No one is objecting rights of elders during their time of vulnerability. But couples are entitled to their own space and place. Culture needs to accept that.

Pakistani men, most of them, do NOT want a modern wife with forward thinking. Male hegemony is deeply ingrained in our strictly patriarchal society, and anything that threatens male supremacy is considered 'unacceptable' ...

Word.

Okay, this has got me intrigued, so lemme put forth a scenario and then I'll reply to our 'hypocrisy' as men.

Let's assume that the joint family has a large enough house where a girl could have her privacy and dress whatever she wants and roam freely in her space with no worries. If all those needs are met, would women be open to the idea of a joint family? Cuz I mean logically speaking, its a win-win. Women get their privacy, men get to fullfill their responsibilities to their parents and their wives.. So, any thoughts ?

Now as far as this 'hypocrisy' goes, no it's not. Men AND WOMEN, are usually REALLY JEALOUS of others looking at their partners. Dressing conservatively around here has alot more to do with others not looking and staring at your wives. Ofcourse it's also associated with morality because of the way we're advised to dress (both men and women) in public. Women like to think they are all "forward thinking and liberal" ... but just observe their behavior when they think their husband is interested in someone ... even if a husband so much so looks in a direction, where by chance there is a good looking woman ... You guys turn in to a mini version of the CIA with the interrogation and stuff ..

There's a difference - a man is looking at another woman obviously she's not going to be happy about that, similarly to how a woman would look at another man and he wouldn't either.

Secondly, woman dressing in Western attire is no issue, similarly to how he does.

On a same platform here.

 

[Manama]

Ofcourse, that explains the self centrism, the lack of realism and the lack of the ability to actually question your own views.

I find most of the "adults" here to be an utter embarrassment to this country. I question my views, you need a wake up call.

Here is the reality of the situation child. More or less half of the Pakistani population is poor based on the metric one uses (e.g. MCPI/ UN 2$ line). None of the things I mentioned in my previous post were about curbing basic necessities, they were questioning as to, if women are open to lowering their living standards if they want to live in separate homes as opposed to a joint family. As previously stated the joint family presents a significantly more cost effective residential arrangement ..... thereby freeing cash to be spent elsewhere ...

Hence the contention ... Put your money where your mouth is ... If the economic argument to live in a joint family is trash as you say ... then by all means leave those cost benefits and lower your living standards. That is ultimately the cost that one has to pay. Economics101, there is no such thing as a free meal.

Now if your going to say that you can just find someone who can maintain that level of living standard even while living alone... then going by the numbers, the average age for a Pakistani girl to get married is around 22-23. Someone whose earning a large and stable enough income to support the standard usually demanded is atleast 30 in the best case scenario, which is an age gap of atleast 7-8 years, not unheard of in the last generation, but definitely more frowned upon in the current one.Add to that the fact that economy is very unpredictable, you mess with one variable and suddenly everything is going berserk. Back in 2008 during the recession, Lehman brothers, General motors, CIT group, Chryslar etc. went bankrupt. Each company had assets worth OVER 40 BILLION US DOLLARS ... Bottom line .. nothing is for certain ... especially money ..

-Lastly, lemme give you a couple more things to think about since you "see the lives being destroyed"..... ... Do look around and search for all those 27/28+ year olds who are struggling to get married because they and their families rejected the good offers made to them, because "the guy doesn't drive a Mercedes" ... Now that their physical beauty is on the decline .... add to that, the complications these women can face in terms of fertility etc. her chances of getting married grow slimmer and slimmer each day. So my question to you is ... what about them?

There is a reason why even after all the rights, the religion affords the individuals, it also says to make nikkah easy. So while we have alot to say about dowry, let's not ignore the unrealistic standards set by women and their families in terms of material, which benefits no one and ultimately comes back to haunt the same women setting those standards.

Thats freaking dumb, when you have an arranged marriage stuff like that counts. If you don't want to go through all that go find a girlfriend. Your points are nothing more than a blame game. Booohooo they wont give me her hand in marriage cuz i don't drive a mercedes, maybe then find a classy woman. Nobody would give their daughter to a broke man just to make more people miserable unless both parties are poor.

My point is that joint family system is retarded and unreligious, living with your parents when being an adult is something you should be to some extent, be ashamed for. Nothing being talked about in this thread is related to that issue. Not getting married is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of, why so salty? Just to get married and have the label or marriage attached to a woman's name, she should go through the hell called joint family system, be the maid to the family, a baby maker and a thing to bang every night. What about her individuality?

@Manama We are out off league

#YouCantTouchThis

Haha!

Bruh I can't fathom anyone here managing to deal with either lmao.

You are too young to be posting in this thread. Heck you are too young to be on PDF. At this age, you should be having a good time - love, live, make memories. Trust me, no amount of your own earned money can give you same happiness than a 500 rupee given by your parents.

I am not in kindergarten

And some day, talk to your siblings over a glass of beer, what are their thoughts about marriage, and life after marriage as compared to before that. Should be good fun.

Already did, don't care enough.

 

[El Sidd]

@Hareeb i definitely think now that the egg came first before the chicken

I find most of the "adults" here to be an utter embarrassment to this country. I question my views, you need a wake up call.


Thats freaking dumb, when you have an arranged marriage stuff like that counts. If you don't want to go through all that go find a girlfriend. Your points are nothing more than a blame game. Booohooo they wont give me her hand in marriage cuz i don't drive a mercedes, maybe then find a classy woman. Nobody would give their daughter to a broke man just to make more people miserable unless both parties are poor.

My point is that joint family system is retarded and unreligious, living with your parents when being an adult is something you should be to some extent, be ashamed for. Nothing being talked about in this thread is related to that issue. Not getting married is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of, why so salty? Just to get married and have the label or marriage attached to a woman's name, she should go through the hell called joint family system, be the maid to the family, a baby maker and a thing to bang every night. What about her individuality?


Bruh I can't fathom anyone here managing to deal with either lmao.


I am not in kindergarten

Already did, don't care enough.

@Hell hound isko apni party me add krlo. Shaadi barbaadi slogan walon me.

 

[Hareeb]

@Hareeb i definitely think now that the egg came first before the chicken



@Hell hound isko apni party me add krlo. Shaadi barbaadi slogan walon me.

Hahahahahaha but who laid that egg. I think chicken came first but chicken was a cock or a hen, Im still confused about this.

 

[Divergent]

@Manama your posts are so on point and hilarious!

 

[El Sidd]

Hahahahahaha but who laid that egg. I think chicken came first but chicken was a cock or a hen, Im still confused about this.

That's not a debate. It's a feminist world. Either go with the hen or be the egg. Lol

Well they scientifically proved Maryams story of virgin birth in sharks. Quite fascinating.

Maybe we can let a biologist decide that. But the important question it seems a woman biologist or a male one

@Manama your posts are so on point and hilarious!

Ankles got a crush.... Awwww so cute

 

[Divergent]

That's not a debate. It's a feminist world. Either go with the hen or be the egg. Lol

Well they scientifically proved Maryams story of virgin birth in sharks. Quite fascinating.

Maybe we can let a biologist decide that. But the important question it seems a woman biologist or a male one



Ankles got a crush.... Awwww so cute

It's called girl power and like minded.

 

[El Sidd]

It's called girl power and like minded.

Ankles you are sexist. Why is girl power only considered when you hunt in packs.
Thats sexist for a feminist like me.






And it won't work. She's too smart for you

 

[Hareeb]

That's not a debate. It's a feminist world. Either go with the hen or be the egg. Lol

Well they scientifically proved Maryams story of virgin birth in sharks. Quite fascinating.

Maybe we can let a biologist decide that. But the important question it seems a woman biologist or a male one

Then may be the hen came first just like human evolution from monkey to man. Darwinisn.

 

[El Sidd]

Then may be the hen came first just like human evolution from monkey to man. Darwinisn.

Lol

You know i once asked a woman if man came from the ape. She agreed

But when i repeated the question if a women came from the ape. She went bananas on me. Which i cited as definite proof.

In the end i had to leave.

So musharafs Kashmir story is not the only survival story worth studying. Lol

 

[Hareeb]

But when i repeated the question if a women came from the ape. She went bananas on me. Which i cited as definite proof.

In the end i had to leave.

This has nothing to do with feminism. They are all the same- complex creatures.

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
If you don't, you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are not understanding.

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring.
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
If you don't, you are a dull boy.

If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her.
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait.
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time."
If she is visited by another woman, "Oh it's natural, we are girls."

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics.
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction.

If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting.
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring.

If you talk, she wants you to listen.
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

Thatswhat I say.

 

[El Sidd]

This has nothing to do with feminism. They are all the same- complex creatures.

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.
If you don't, you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.
If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are not understanding.

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring.
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.
If you don't, you are a dull boy.

If you are jealous, she says it's bad.
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her.
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait.
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time."
If she is visited by another woman, "Oh it's natural, we are girls."

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics.
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction.

If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting.
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring.

If you talk, she wants you to listen.
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

Thatswhat I say.

You are a brave soul. If @Manama @Divergent1 read them ignoring the small fonts. You will have a busy couple of days