What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Divergent]

Why do i care lol? im still a minor. I speak about what i see, the lives I see being destroyed, those toxic marriages. YEs economic problems are a thing and ofcourse it should be because you can't marry someone else if you can't support yourself. So instead of coming at us for demanding someone who can support us, maybe you shouldnt approach anyone before you are ready to support them. Heck even i would see my economical situation before marrying my boyfriend.
Your arguments are trash because those are necessities of life, if you go ahead and still live at your parent's house at 18 go ahead, don't go whining about it when you have joint family problems especially when our religion itself gives us right to be separate straight after marriage.

Ayyyy! Bulls eye.

 

[El Sidd]

Why do i care lol? im still a minor. I speak about what i see, the lives I see being destroyed, those toxic marriages. YEs economic problems are a thing and ofcourse it should be because you can't marry someone else if you can't support yourself. So instead of coming at us for demanding someone who can support us, maybe you shouldnt approach anyone before you are ready to support them. Heck even i would see my economical situation before marrying my boyfriend.
Your arguments are trash because those are necessities of life, if you go ahead and still live at your parent's house at 18 go ahead, don't go whining about it when you have joint family problems especially when our religion itself gives us right to be separate straight after marriage.

ahhhh i wish i was this informed as a minor.
we used to believe in the tooth fairy and that gummi bear existed.
and get shizz scared of scooby doo ghosts...

 

[abdulbarijan]

As females I can confirm, today's girls at some stage prefer their own places, maybe for a temporary basis they could adjust with in laws but after some stage you have to into account she wants her own privacy, dress in whatever she wants and roam free around the house with no worry. If you have bro/sis in laws there's a line of respect and moderation you have to be vary of.

Also once you have children, they grow up and want their own rooms and spaces etc.

Men want a modern wife with forward thinking, but haven't broaden their own minds. FYI: I'm no feminist but stating this hypocrisy

Okay, this has got me intrigued, so lemme put forth a scenario and then I'll reply to our 'hypocrisy' as men.

Let's assume that the joint family has a large enough house where a girl could have her privacy and dress whatever she wants and roam freely in her space with no worries. If all those needs are met, would women be open to the idea of a joint family? Cuz I mean logically speaking, its a win-win. Women get their privacy, men get to fullfill their responsibilities to their parents and their wives.. So, any thoughts ?

Now as far as this 'hypocrisy' goes, no it's not. Men AND WOMEN, are usually REALLY JEALOUS of others looking at their partners. Dressing conservatively around here has alot more to do with others not looking and staring at your wives. Ofcourse it's also associated with morality because of the way we're advised to dress (both men and women) in public. Women like to think they are all "forward thinking and liberal" ... but just observe their behavior when they think their husband is interested in someone ... even if a husband so much so looks in a direction, where by chance there is a good looking woman ... You guys turn in to a mini version of the CIA with the interrogation and stuff ..

 

[El Sidd]

why is this being allowed to be discussed?

@waz can you please lock the thread and wait till the thread starter shows up. you know its very old this thread. haven't seen him around since the Indo-Pak final. thats worrying

 

[M. Sarmad]

Men want a modern wife with forward thinking, but haven't broaden their own minds. FYI: I'm no feminist but stating this hypocrisy

Pakistani men, most of them, do NOT want a modern wife with forward thinking. Male hegemony is deeply ingrained in our strictly patriarchal society, and anything that threatens male supremacy is considered 'unacceptable' ...

 

[footmarks]

As females I can confirm, today's girls at some stage prefer their own places, maybe for a temporary basis they could adjust with in laws but after some stage you have to into account she wants her own privacy, dress in whatever she wants and roam free around the house with no worry. If you have bro/sis in laws there's a line of respect and moderation you have to be vary of.

Also once you have children, they grow up and want their own rooms and spaces etc.

Men want a modern wife with forward thinking, but haven't broaden their own minds. FYI: I'm no feminist but stating this hypocrisy

Hypocrisy is wanting a separate home so that you can roam freely, wear whatever you want, and then when you grow old, you expect your children to be with you and take care of you. And this hypocrisy runs through one generation to the other.

 

[El Sidd]

Pakistani men, most of them, do NOT want a modern wife with forward thinking. Male hegemony is deeply ingrained in our strictly patriarchal society, and anything that threatens male supremacy is considered 'unacceptable' ...

jepp

its like someone with a Arachnophobia enjoying the spider movie.

 

[Manama]

Hypocrisy is wanting a separate home so that you can roam freely, wear whatever you want, and then when you grow old, you expect your children to be with you and take care of you. And this hypocrisy runs through one generation to the other.

Except that most people who want to be separate actually have a brain and thus they know and would separate their kids as well.

 

[footmarks]

Except that most people who want to be separate actually have a brain and thus they know and would separate their kids as well.

Do you have Kids of your own? for if you have, you should know how easy it is to say and how difficult actually it is to let go of your kids.

 

[Divergent]

Hypocrisy is wanting a separate home so that you can roam freely, wear whatever you want, and then when you grow old, you expect your children to be with you and take care of you. And this hypocrisy runs through one generation to the other.

Not really, I'd be okay with my children taking care of us in terms of coming round for visits now and then, checking on us, visiting etc and more than happy to live their own lives.

 

[footmarks]

Not really, I'd be okay with my children taking care of us in terms of coming round for visits now and then, checking on us, visiting etc and more than happy to live their own lives.

That's ideal, that's what our generation wants to do. I agree. But not on the hypocrisy part of your previous post.

 

[Sine Nomine]

Not really, I'd be okay with my children taking care of us in terms of coming round for visits now and then, checking on us, visiting etc and more than happy to live their own lives.

It's okay when we are young but unacceptable when we have grown old.

 

[Manama]

Do you have Kids of your own? for if you have, you should know how easy it is to say and how difficult actually it is to let go of your kids.

nah and no my parents understand in general that children have to separated. To them their kids are their kids and not their retirement plan that they could leech on to. All of my older siblings have moved on and are living with their respective spouses. I am moving away soon (yes no marriage, just turning 18).
And ill follow this if i am to have kids of my own. They need to move on once they turn 18, if i leech onto them, i shouldnt have kids in the first place.

We siblings visit our parents, maybe check on them once in a while, but living together even when we are adults? nah

Not really, I'd be okay with my children taking care of us in terms of coming round for visits now and then, checking on us, visiting etc and more than happy to live their own lives.

this ^^^^^

 

[footmarks]

nah and no my parents understand in general that children have to separated. To them their kids are their kids and not their retirement plan that they could leech on to. All of my older siblings have moved on and are living with their respective spouses. I am moving away soon (yes no marriage, just turning 18).
And ill follow this if i am to have kids of my own. They need to move on once they turn 18, if i leech onto them, i shouldnt have kids in the first place.

We siblings visit our parents, maybe check on them once in a while, but living together even when we are adults? nah


this ^^^^^

You are too young to be posting in this thread. Heck you are too young to be on PDF. At this age, you should be having a good time - love, live, make memories. Trust me, no amount of your own earned money can give you same happiness than a 500 rupee given by your parents.

And some day, talk to your siblings over a glass of beer, what are their thoughts about marriage, and life after marriage as compared to before that. Should be good fun.

 

[El Sidd]

In this case Iran did the same mistake as India did in her last match (cricket) with Pakistan. Over-confidence.
Most of the Pakistanis take Iran as brotherly neighbor. We try at every point to keep things calm with Iran. But I dont know whether Iranis are at that level of irritation(due to their international matters) or they have something against Pakistan, that at some point they support India for espionage in Pakistan, they regularly fire shells on Pakistani boarder and ever they sign those treaties with our enemies which are direct threat to us.
In nutshell, its my personal feelings that Iranis are taking us very lightly.

So you think its humorous that Iran is somehow like a daughter in law to us? Why dont we keep them just neighbors?