What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Divergent]

It's 2017 - Pressing legs and stuff? lmao

 

[El Sidd]

It's 2017 - Pressing legs and stuff? lmao

Meh?
This is a different thread. Its about the daughter or the cow in law.

Pressing legs n stuff. Lol try break the fast thread lol

 

[Divergent]

We live in a Modern World.

 

[El Sidd]

We live in a Modern World.

And today is Saturday

 

[Divergent]

Best way is keep it traditional with in laws and modern with your man. Straight up.

And today is Saturday

 

[Ocean]

Where is the thread about son in law? In pakistani society there are tonnes of things that are done purely due to deranged societal customs but they are selfishly propagated masked as islamic for the sake of peoples personal comfort and gains.

Same pakistani men who make their wives do all sorts of house chores including washing clothes for their mother to brothers to sisters and even their undergarments, when marry a gori know their own place, so without much argument the similar orthodox mindset Pakistani men would be seen doing their laundry on their own etc etc

But there is one thing that should be there and that is giving each other respect, a dil could be respectful to her mother in law thinking she is an elder and show some courtesy and the Mil should also not try to invade her dil's personal space. At the end of the day it is us men who have to try and maintain the balance. Siding unfairly with any party does not help.

Pakistani society is very crass in their treatment towards women.

 

[El Sidd]

Best way is keep it traditional with in laws and modern with your man. Straight up.

Traditional? I do not agree on this for the same reason i don't agree with the thread. Its a male dominated society with their idiotic traditions.

But ignore all of that because:

I just hope and pray you don't get married into those wife slapping wedding culture, ankles.

 

[Divergent]

Pakistani Culture shouldn't be influenced by Hindu culture where a female bows down to all her Husband's commands (even if they are unjust) - being partners means you guide each other and help one another, bring out the best in each other and make important decisions as a team.

Where is the thread about son in law? In pakistani society there are tonnes of things that are done purely due to deranged societal customs but they are selfishly propagated masked as islamic for the sake of peoples personal comfort and gains.

Same pakistani men who make their wives do all sorts of house chores including washing clothes for their mother to brothers to sisters and even their undergarments, when marry a gori know their own place, so without much argument the similar orthodox mindset Pakistani men would be seen doing their laundry on their own etc etc

But there is one thing that should be there and that is giving each other respect, a dil could be respectful to her mother in law thinking she is an elder and show some courtesy and the Mil should also not try to invade her dil's personal space. At the end of the day it is us men who have to try and maintain the balance. Siding unfairly with any party does not help.

Pakistani society is very crass in their treatment towards women.

Word!

 

[El Sidd]

Pakistani Culture shouldn't be influenced by Hindu culture where a female bows down to all her Husband's commands (even if they are unjust) - being partners means you guide each other and help one another, bring out the best in each other and make important decisions as a team.



Word!

So you are assuming the Hindu culture oppresses women? Or the Hindu religion?

There's a Pakistani side in me who liked your post.
The human inquisitive side asked the question.

Lol i maybe bipolar on this

 

[Azeem_Ahmed]

We live in a Modern World.

we live in a modern world with old/stupid thoughts....

 

[Divergent]

This ideology of serving blindly is usually what Parvatis do.

Islamically a female has every right to her own household, privacy, work. Culturally there is some little influence of Hindu culture in Pakistan of not dare asking Husband to have own space because it's considered rude and the in laws authority should be respected. Joint systems families don't always work.

If he wants his parents to stay with them then he needs to ensure he is the ultimate runner of his own life with his Mrs. She's his responsibility.

Traditional and modern was implied to dress. If she's modern dressed and that's how she dresses during their time out/holidays it's his pregrogrative. Infront of his family to keep his respect (if they are conservative) she could dress modestly.

Everyone's happy.

So you are assuming the Hindu culture oppresses women? Or the Hindu religion?

There's a Pakistani side in me who liked your post.
The human inquisitive side asked the question.

Lol i maybe bipolar on this

 

[El Sidd]

This ideology of serving blindly is usually what Parvatis do.

Islamically a female has every right to her own household, privacy, work. Culturally there is some little influence of Hindu culture in Pakistan of not dare asking Husband to have own space because it's considered rude and the in laws authority should be respected. Joint systems families don't always work.

If he wants his parents to stay with them then he needs to ensure he is the ultimate runner of his own life with his Mrs. She's his responsibility.

Traditional and modern was implied to dress. If she's modern dressed and that's how she dresses during their time out/holidays it's his pregrogrative. Infront of his family to keep his respect (if they are conservative) she could dress modestly.

Everyone's happy.

Two nation theory 2017 Muslim feminist style.

 

[Farah Sohail]

Not defending the 'susraal system' in it's intended connotation... I'm just saying people who want to do good, honor and respect their spouse ... can function in any system .. be it the joint family or living alone ... Depends on the people more than the structure in my opinion...

I agree with you 100% .. Its not the system at fault as much..as the ppl involved.. If ppl in a household ..decide to live in harmony ...in a joint family...then nothing like it.. Infact it has many advantages when, you have diff ppl in your support.. Good relationship between mother and daughter in law..can be the best thing and source of strength for a woman.. My mother and chachi lived in joint family with our grandparents.. Now our grandparents have passed away..but never heard my mother complaining abt them.. Obviously some disagreements happen everywhere, when there are many ppl involved..but they should alwyas remain civil and with best of intentions..rather than to degrade someone..

I think a new bride should be welcomed whole heartedly...by in laws.. I dont blame mother in laws ...also much...regarding their insecurities.. All their life..they have "owned" their son..and now a new lady has come in between.. Their insecurity is natural... However its how they cope up with tht...and deal with situation is what makes or breaks the situation.. Mother in laws should realise tht its a natural phenomena..and new lady in the house is a reality..which is not going to change.. The sooner they accept it the better.. Either they create a healthy relationship with their daughetr in law, and live in harmony..or they make life..hell for everyone in the house..its entirely their own choice..

Same is true for daughter in laws.. Some women are over possessive regarding their husbands..and they want to own tht husband exclusively... Tht is wrong too, on their part.. S a balance needs to be maintained..

Then there are husbands/sons.. In some cases, either sons are totally mamaa's boys who only see what their mothers want them to show..or some are .opposite..who pnly listen to thier wives..and disrespect parents.. I think men should always listen with logic...

Some / infact majority susraals are over demanding from their daughter in laws.. Ye safai kaisy ki? Tum ne sabzi achi na kaati... Khaana kaisa banaya hai? Literally criticising every minor thing..which feds up the new daughter in law.. And then she decides to demand seperate house from her husband.. If such is the case...then i think she is justified..

I think normally it takes 2-3 years to reach a common ground/understanding between daughter in law and her susraal.... First 2-3 yrs are genrally tough..then things start to become normal.. But however.,if susraal ppl are overdemanding....and has made life hell for the bride..then they should seperate from joint family system.....instead of roz roz ke jhagray..

Joint family system also becomes a problem for those women/daughetr in laws..who do scarfs/ pardah.. Then it becomeds diff for the bride..to do pardah from their devars..who live in the same house.. So this is also the reason why some women..want to live seperately..and this is the reason..why theres no obligation in Islam to live with in laws.. Islam doesnt encourage..joint family system as such... Joint family system is more of a cultural thing.

 

[Manama]

Same is true for daughter in laws.. Some women are over possessive regarding their husbands..and they want to own tht husband exclusively... Tht is wrong too, on their part.. S a balance needs to be maintained..

How is that wrong? lol

Joint family system itself is the problem, eradicate it

 

[Hell hound]

How is that wrong? lol

Joint family system itself is the problem, eradicate it

its not just wrong on one but many levels husband isn't your personal property just like you aren't his no one likes a controlling and possessive wife.
now coming to joint family part.it is a way of life if you don't like it just don't marry in house which practice it.simple as that there is no need to eradicate it just because few girls who didn't chose their partner carefully according to their mindset now can't adjust to this lifestyle.