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Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

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Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping
up on the porch and sits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour. So I don't stop him, and he begins to
rub my old breasts, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take
me, young man, Take me!" That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the ******* Son of a *****!!

A salesman came to my door to sell us a washing machine the other day. I was in the barn at the time and my wife answered the door so she said to him, "Go down to my
husband, he's just in the barn. He deals with all that malarky."
So he came down to the barn and said, "Hello sir, I'm calling round to see if you'd be interested in buying my washing machine."
I said to him, "I'm going to tell you a story:"
"You see that cow?", I said.
"Yes," He said.
"Yesterday, I went to milk that cow. When I put the bucket under her udder, she kicked me in the face with her left foot. So I tied her leg
to a rope and tied the other end to that beam up there. I got back down again and she kicked
me in the face with her other foot. So I tied a rope to her other leg and tied it to another beam up there. When I got back down again,
she smacked me in the face with her shittied up tail. So I tied a rope to it and attached it to the beam above your head. I decided to have a quick pee before I started milking her and just as I was doing my zipper up, my wife walked in. Now, if you can convince my wife that I
wasn't going to **** that cow, I'll buy your bloody washing machine."
 
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Now thats real trolling :>>>

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Everyone has one funny pic which always cheer him/ her up. That is mine (I dunno why :D)

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