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Stupid and funny from all over the world - II

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Madam Mayawati (Current Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, India) goes on a state visit to Israel .

While on tour in Jerusalem , she suffers a heart attack and passes
away. The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have her
shipped home for US$500,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy
Land , for just US$100.'

Madam's men go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back
to the undertaker and tell him they want Madam Mayawati shipped home.
The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $500,000 to
ship her home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you
would spend only $100?

With the money you save you could buy enough diesel for a year, buy
enough medicines to wipe out cholera, buy enough generators to never
have blackouts again.'

Madam's men replied, 'Long ago a man (named JESUS) died here, was
buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead.
We just can't take that chance with this lady'.
 
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A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.





The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,
a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.

'Go get your Mother.'
 
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