7 Indianisms from Politics and Media
1. Coalition Dharma
Once upon a time, there were elections held for 540 seats. 321 parties contested in the elections. One party won 220 seats. And, 320 parties won one seat each. Thus was born coalition dharma, a term used in Indian politics to describe the dynamics of putting and keeping a government in place. Think of it as a pact among thieves. I wont ask. You dont tell. Lets all just happily get along. Until, of course, the Supreme Court sends us all to jail.
2. Letting the law take its course
Lets pretend that your worst political rival has just been arrested on false charges. And, it looks like he might go away for a long time, if the charges stick. A journalist calls you at two in the morning to get your reaction. What do you say?
You let the law take its own course much like a Bollywood movie does, after the interval break. No one knows the law. No one knows where its going. Its but natural that everyone wants it to take its own course.
3. O High Command, Hallowed be thy name. Your kingdom come
High Command. This ones exclusive to and a favorite of the Congress party. Which sick, spineless, obsequious sycophant came up with this one? It begs basic questions such as Whos in command? And why is she high?
This blot on Indian political lingo evokes images of an acid-dropping long-haired hippy singing Dum Maaro Dum, while seated in front of a Star Trek style spaceship console and remote controlling one-eyed aliens from outer space.
4. If youre not secular, you must be communal
The Age of Enlightenment (or the Age of Reason) was a cultural movement of intellectuals in 18th century Europe, that sought to reform society and advance knowledge. It promoted science and intellectual discourse, opposed superstition, intolerance and sought the separation of church from state. Out of this movement came the word secular to denote a state of being separate from religion.
The word secular has taken on a life of its own in Indian media and politics, and has now turned into a farcical comedy. A secular political alliance in India could include a motley crew of Communists, Muslim League, Congress and characters such as Mulayam Singh and Laloo Prasad Yadav. What on earth makes them secular, you may wonder. Is it shared admiration for intellect, reason and logic? No Sir. They are secular because they are not communal.
5. Hand in hand with the foreign hand
In the movie, Sixth Sense, a boy claims to be able to see dead people. Our politicians have a similar uncanny ability to see foreign hands. The power of the foreign hand is not to be underestimated.
Imagine a crisis-struck government seated around the table and brainstorming options.
Can we blame the opposition for this crisis?
Nope. Those guys have been comatose since they lost the elections
Can we put this down to compulsions of coalition dharma?
Not a good idea
Do we know whats going on?
No
Ok. Lets blame the foreign hand then. Anyone against this proposal, raise your foreign hand
6. One mans jolt is another mans setback
Jolts and setbacks are favorites of the newspapers.
A setback is simply any random event, used to disparage your bête-noire.
Narendra Modi suffered a sharp setback when his car failed to pass the smog test yesterday
Geez, what a monster. He deserved what he got. Hope he rots in hell.
A jolt is used to describe a cataclysmic event, while expressing nonchalance, astonishment and controlled outrage all in one go.
The UPA government suffered a jolt when the Supreme Court convicted 3 cabinet ministers and sentenced them to life imprisonment without bail
Its no biggie. Its just a jolt. Gosh, what a surprise. Id have never guessed this turn of events. Is the Supreme Court really trustworthy, I wonder?
7. Civil Society
In the midst of a movie, I once had to admonish my neighbor for talking loudly on his mobile phone. His choices, I told him, were either to stop talking or leave the theatre. His impressively defiant response, You have no right to tell me what to do. We live in a civil society, momentarily stunned me into silence.
This phrase has appeared out of nowhere and rapidly penetrated public consciousness, thanks to Anna Hazares crusade. And, its tentacles have spread into domains where it has no place.
My advice: When on the defensive, take the moral high ground by playing the civil society card.
What? You want a thousand rupees bribe to give me an LPG connection? Thats outrageous. We live in a civil society. Ill give you no more than five hundred
(Reported by Laughing Gas and originally published in What Ho!)
7 Indianisms from Politics and Media | The UnReal Times