A piece of satire, but it accurately conveys the absurdity of blaming RAW for everything that's going wrong in Pakistan today. As the RAW boss says in the spoof: “We don’t actually need too many employees, to be very honest,” he said. “Maybe just a few in-house data miners who can keep a record of all the things that we are pulling off in Pakistan. Because frankly, none of us has a f**king clue,”.
Khanna also thanked the Pakistani masses, especially those on social media, for making sure that the Indian government and the people are aware of RAW’s achievements and successes in operations that the intelligence agency only becomes aware of after they’re completed.
The point of this article is that as long as Pakistan continues to blame others for self-created problems, there isn't going to be any resolution. Meanwhile, looking at all that has gone wrong in Pakistan, RAW must have a budget running into tens of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of operatives just for this one country - which seems unlikely.
RAW satisfied with overwhelming success in cross-border operations it had nothing to do with
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Featured, World
May 14, 2015
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Chief considers downsizing after decreasing need of employees
New Delhi: Rejoicing in unprecedented fulfilment of objectives, Indian intelligence agency Research and Analysis Wing (RAW) has expressed satisfaction over overwhelming success in operations that it had got nothing to with. Addressing a press conference RAW Chief Rajinder Khanna said that he was satisfied with the progress of the intelligence agency, especially in cross-border operations that no one in the agency had any idea about.
“It makes me look good,” he said while talking to the media. “I mean the places and people we target sometimes have names that I personally haven’t ever heard of,” he added.
Khanna continued: “Sometimes the resources and manpower needed to complete the number of jobs that we manage to pull off is actually more than what the entire agency has at its disposal. Our efficiency is about 5500% in Pakistan.”
The RAW chief further revealed that even though RAW employees, especially those working in Pakistan, have been getting hefty bonuses, it might be time to downsize.
“We don’t actually need too many employees, to be very honest,” he said. “Maybe just a few in-house data miners who can keep a record of all the things that we are pulling off in Pakistan. Because frankly, none of us has a f**king clue,” he added.
Khanna also appreciated the work of Islamist voluntary workers.
“They’re not even looking for compensation,” the RAW chief said of the Islamist militants. “I mean yes, we have considered funding Islamists in Pakistan over the past decades. But they never needed any money. I haven’t seen anyone as self-motivated,” he claimed.
He claimed that RAW’s business model is as successful as any organisation, let alone intelligence agency, has ever been.
“Mossad, and maybe CIA, comes close. But we’re ahead by a country mile,” he said.
Khanna also thanked the Pakistani masses, especially those on social media, for making sure that the Indian government and the people are aware of RAW’s achievements and successes in operations that the intelligence agency only becomes aware of after they’re completed.
Khanna also thanked the Pakistani masses, especially those on social media, for making sure that the Indian government and the people are aware of RAW’s achievements and successes in operations that the intelligence agency only becomes aware of after they’re completed.
The point of this article is that as long as Pakistan continues to blame others for self-created problems, there isn't going to be any resolution. Meanwhile, looking at all that has gone wrong in Pakistan, RAW must have a budget running into tens of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of operatives just for this one country - which seems unlikely.
RAW satisfied with overwhelming success in cross-border operations it had nothing to do with
3
Featured, World
May 14, 2015
A+A-
SHARE ON EMAILEMAILSHARE ON PRINTPRINT
Chief considers downsizing after decreasing need of employees
New Delhi: Rejoicing in unprecedented fulfilment of objectives, Indian intelligence agency Research and Analysis Wing (RAW) has expressed satisfaction over overwhelming success in operations that it had got nothing to with. Addressing a press conference RAW Chief Rajinder Khanna said that he was satisfied with the progress of the intelligence agency, especially in cross-border operations that no one in the agency had any idea about.
“It makes me look good,” he said while talking to the media. “I mean the places and people we target sometimes have names that I personally haven’t ever heard of,” he added.
Khanna continued: “Sometimes the resources and manpower needed to complete the number of jobs that we manage to pull off is actually more than what the entire agency has at its disposal. Our efficiency is about 5500% in Pakistan.”
The RAW chief further revealed that even though RAW employees, especially those working in Pakistan, have been getting hefty bonuses, it might be time to downsize.
“We don’t actually need too many employees, to be very honest,” he said. “Maybe just a few in-house data miners who can keep a record of all the things that we are pulling off in Pakistan. Because frankly, none of us has a f**king clue,” he added.
Khanna also appreciated the work of Islamist voluntary workers.
“They’re not even looking for compensation,” the RAW chief said of the Islamist militants. “I mean yes, we have considered funding Islamists in Pakistan over the past decades. But they never needed any money. I haven’t seen anyone as self-motivated,” he claimed.
He claimed that RAW’s business model is as successful as any organisation, let alone intelligence agency, has ever been.
“Mossad, and maybe CIA, comes close. But we’re ahead by a country mile,” he said.
Khanna also thanked the Pakistani masses, especially those on social media, for making sure that the Indian government and the people are aware of RAW’s achievements and successes in operations that the intelligence agency only becomes aware of after they’re completed.