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One liners :)

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
 
Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.
 
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.”


-Albert Einstein

^^^ while giving an anology about his Theory of Relativity.
 
Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.
 
Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
 
Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 
Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 
Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.
 
Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
 
Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
 
Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
 
Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.
 
Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
 
Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
 
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