Men's English---Women's English

[MastanKhan]

Hi,

Men and women say something but mean totally different. So here it is:---You might have read it somewhere or---here is the men's part


I am hungry= I am hungry

I am sleepy= I am sleepy

I am tired= I am tired

Do you want to go to a movie?= I'd eventually want to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner?= I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime= I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance= I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress=Nice cleavage

You look tense, let me give you a massage= I want to fondle you

What's wrong=I don't see why you making such a big deal out of it

What's wrong=I guess sex tonite is out of question

I am bored=Do you want to have sex

I love you= Let us have sex now

Let's talk=I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

'while shopping' I like that one better=pick any fricking dress ands let's go home

 

[MastanKhan]

Girl Talk

Yes=no
No=yes
Maybe=no
I am sorry=you will be sorry
we need=I want
Do what you want=you will pay for it later
We need to talk=I need to complain
Sure---go ahead=I don't want you to
I am not upset=of course I am upset you moron
you are so manly=you need a shave and you sweat a lot
You are cetainly attentive tonite=is sex all you ever think about
Be romantic--turn off the lights=I have flabby thighs
the kitchen is so inconvinient=I want a new house
I want new curtains=and new carpet, new furniture etc etc
I heard a noise=I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me=I am going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me=I did something today you are really not going to like it
Is my butt fat=Tell me I am beautiful
You have to learn to communicate=just agree with me
I am not yelling=yes I am yelling because I think this is important

 

[MastanKhan]

Hi,

Here is a question for you guys and gals---think about it


Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

 

[x_man]

Well, may be one can assume that , Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery.

Regarding men, heres another one:-

Q: Whats the difference between men and women.

Ans: A woman wants one man to fulfill her all the needs, ...and a man wants all the women of the world to fulfill his onle one need.

 

[roadrunner]

Hi,

Here is a question for you guys and gals---think about it


Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

It's a very relative question. Infants sure think adults are boring, and adults think infants are boring. It's just the different mental states of each. Running around pointlessly would be fun to an infant mind, the adult mind of course finds other things more exciting. So I think both have as much fun as each other, in different ways.

 

[Flintlock]

It's a very relative question. Infants sure think adults are boring, and adults think infants are boring. It's just the different mental states of each. Running around pointlessly would be fun to an infant mind, the adult mind of course finds other things more exciting. So I think both have as much fun as each other, in different ways.

Dude, it was a joke!!

Here is a bad PJ that I heard today:

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of pockets. 'You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,' complained the pub-owner.

So the two sardars exchanged sandwiches.

 

[su-47]

Hi,

Here is a question for you guys and gals---think about it


Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

adultery might be fun (as long as you are not caught). adulthood is not as fun as infancy.

 

[Flintlock]

It's a very relative question. Infants sure think adults are boring, and adults think infants are boring. It's just the different mental states of each. Running around pointlessly would be fun to an infant mind, the adult mind of course finds other things more exciting. So I think both have as much fun as each other, in different ways.

I don't think infants are boring!! I love my baby cousins...they are the cutest things on the planet!

 

[roadrunner]

Dude, it was a joke!!

oh right.........wouldn't know what adultery meant, myself .

 

[MastanKhan]

Stealth,

Thanks for catching that joke---infant to infancy---adult to adultery---it was just a senseless joke and nothing to do with infants having fun and adults doing adultery.

I like the one that you posted.

 

[Neo]

Women talk too much!

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.

Exicited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much. He showed her the study results.

It read: "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said "What?"

 

[roadrunner]

^^Hmm, interesting. They've apparently researched that and found there's no difference. I would have thought women spoke more than men on average from experience, but perhaps it's under certain situations that you find this.

Are Women Really More Talkative Than Men? -- Mehl et al. 317 (5834): 82 -- Science

 

[araz]

^^Hmm, interesting. They've apparently researched that and found there's no difference. I would have thought women spoke more than men on average from experience, but perhaps it's under certain situations that you find this.

Are Women Really More Talkative Than Men? -- Mehl et al. 317 (5834): 82 -- Science

They certainly do when they get married to you. Where as if they are trying to latch on to you, they talk very little..OH God, I love my woman. I often tell her"Darling!! You are so wonderful that I wish I had two of you!!!" You can tell she is looking on as I am writing this Post!!!
Araz

 

[Blossom]

well well
i see the inside story is completely different from the title

never mind..the experienced may continue.....

 

[JK!]

A woman once said a man is like a deck of cards

You need:

a heart to love him
a diamond to marry him
a club to smash his stupid head in
a spade to bury him