Ok you want indigenous jokes on Rajnikant? You have it! Read on ..
I bet all of you, like me believed that Sir Isaac Newton and Albert
Einstein died many years back. But the facts have proved themselves otherwise.
They actually didnt die, when we thought they did.
They actually died very recently.
The actual circumstances surrounding their deaths are not quite clear, but recent research has narrowed it down quite closely
.
Everyone believes that Sir Isaac Newton died on 31 March 1727.
However, a secret study conducted by CIA proved that this was not true. In addition to his many discoveries Sir Isaac Newton had also discovered the Secret to Longevity,
though he did not share this discovery with anyone till Albert Einstein came along (also widely believed to have died on 18 Apr 1955). Albert Einstein during one of his researches into Newtonian laws of motion came across Newtons research into Longevity.
Both Newton and Einstein practiced the findings of this research and continued to live eternally, travelling around the world together and generally having a gala time, till
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They came to India and
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Saw Rajnikanth Movies
Read on to find out the actual causes of death of Newton and Einstein.
Scene 1
Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumour which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumour along with it and he is cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!
Newton has his head spinning, but quickly proves mathematically that while probability of such an occurrence is 0.000000000000000000823, but the event, nevertheless is possible. He goes on to revisit the premises on which his first law of motion is based.
Einstein is puzzled, and is sure there is some relativity in this scene.
Scene 2
Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster& the knife kills the middle one.
Newton has increased blood pressure. He begins to write a theorem disproving his own second law of motion.
Einstein become unsure of everything he has said till now. He starts exhibiting schizophrenic tendencies.
Scene 3
Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster.. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations.
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
Newton is livid. He has a mild cardiac arrest. He is shaken quite badly. He immediately goes on to cancel is third law of motion (Every action has an equal and opposite reaction). He proposes it in a revised format, Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, except in India, where a reaction might be produced without an action, or an action might not produce any reaction, or an action might produce an exceptionally large reaction.
Einstein cuts his hair. He returns his noble prize. He modifies his fundamental theory of E = MC2. He modifies it to read E = IMC2 (Where I stands for India and is NOT a constant but a variable). He further proposes that the theory of relativity is universally applicable except in India. In India, light doesnt always travel in a straight line, and doesnt always remove darkness. He also proves that in India (and especially in Rajnikanth Movies) the Energy of a system is NOT dependent upon a product of its mass and square of speed of light. It is more dependent on what a producer or a director of an event wants. He then becomes paranoid and starts to think of killing Newton.
Scene 4
Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use.
Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible? Einstein is full of apprehension.
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton has a massive cardiac arrest and does not survive.
Einstein in a fit of paranoia, climbs that same very wall, and jumps off it.
And Both Newton and Einstein died.
