Joke

[ADT]

Application Form To Be Filled For Contesting Indian Elections

1. Name of Candidate : _______________________

2. Present Address
(i) Name of Jail : _______________________
(ii) Cell Number : _______________________

3. Political Party : _______________________ (List ONLY the Last Five parties in the Chronological (Order)

4. Sex: [ ]
A - Male
B - Female
C - Mayawati

5. Nationality: [ ]
A - Italian
B - Indian

6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A - Defected
B - Expelled
C - Bought out
D - None of above
E - All of above

7. Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A - To make money
B - To escape court trial
C - To grossly misuse power
D - To serve the public
E - I have no clue (if you choose "D, attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)

8. How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A - 1-2 yrs
B - 2-6yrs
C - 6-15yrs
D - 15+yrs

9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)

10. How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ] (Do not confuse with question 8)
A - 1-2 years
B - 2-6 years
C - 6-15 years
D - 15+years

11. Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A - Why not
B - Of Course
C - Definitely
D - I deny it all
E - I see a foreign hand.

12. What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A - 100-500 Crores
B - 500-1000 Crores
C - Overflow... (Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc to Rupees)

13. Do you have any developmental plans for India in mind? [ ]
A - No
B - No
C - No
D - No

14. Describe your achievements in space provided: [_________]
Thumb Impression of candidate (Not that of the person who filled the form)

 

[Aslan]

Funny Resume Goof-Ups
Some very nice goodies found in job applications with the reviewer's comments below it.
===============================================Cov er letter: "I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company."
That's what we're afraid of ===============================================
Resume: "It is my professional objective to obtain a position which allows me to make use of my commuter skills."
I think we can oblige.
===============================================
Weaknesses: "Suffer from prickly heat in summer."
Sounds uncomfortable.
===============================================
Cover letter: "Enclosed is my resume for your viewing pleasure."
We can hardly wait.
===============================================
Cover letter: "You are privileged to receive my resume."
We'll try not to let it go to our heads.
===============================================
Objective: "To mature in the field of human behavior."
Good luck with that.
===============================================
Experience: "10 years of experience in financail budgiting and transactions rigistering."
But limited experience with the spell-check function.
===============================================
Cover letter: "Please overlook my resume."
If you insist.
===============================================
Cover letter: "I'm submitting the attached copy of my resume for your consumption."
Yummy
===============================================
Skills: "Grate communication skills."
Yes, but can you talk and chop at the same time?
===============================================
Experience: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ...
===============================================
Cover letter: "Salary demanded - RS 65,000."
Would you like that in small, unmarked bills?
===============================================
Strengths: "Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
Would that be Mozart or Beethoven?
===============================================
Education: "B.A. in Loberal Arts."
Did you minor in ear piercing?
===============================================
Cover letter: "I've updated my resume so it's more appalling to employers."
We're pretty shocked already … ===============================================
Cover letter: "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."
Glad to hear it.
===============================================
Cover letter: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
===============================================
Cover letter: "Experienced in all faucets of accounting."
That should help with the flow of information.

 

[jin]

Da Pukhtano Wroondo dapara , A must watch ..... till last


http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N2fagiIejg

 

[Icarus]

Consider renaming this to Pakistan Comic Forums.................lolx
I was ROFL

 

[mshoaib61]

A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati... .
Amitabh : In which state the river Kaveri flows?
Sardar : Liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS..... .

 

[desiman]

nice one

 

[Hyde]

Kanjoos Memon

Kanjoos apne bacho se: jo raat ko khana nhe khaega usay 5 rs dunga.

Bachay 5 ,5 Rs le kar so gaye

Subah kanjoos bola : Ab jo 5rs dega usay nashta milega

 

[WAQAS119]

Read subtitle while watching it.

 

[Windjammer]

Guys, found this on a chat line, two members were debating regarding how a plane touches down on the runway, thought i share it with you.

Dear what you have stated above is merely a description in words of what that Mirage is doing in the video. Its tantamount to saying "Incorrect, this is how you do pooh, first you go in to the toilet, lower your pants to decrease drag, sit down on toilet seat with main gear (your buttocks) and then let loose a burst to push your body to the limits..."

You've made enough fun of yourself already...so lets get back to the topic.

 

[Aslan]

 

[WAQAS119]

self deleted........

 

[Kompromat]

:bat: again ?


how about Jana loves Ahsan's GF

 

[Wingman]

Teacher: 1876 ko konsa kia huwa tha??

Pathan: I don't know..

Teacher: Our Quaid e Azam was born.

Now tell me what is important in 1880??

Pathan: Sir Quaid e Azam became 4 years old

---------- Post added at 05:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:05 PM ----------

Teacher: 1876 ko konsa kia huwa tha??

Pathan: I don't know..

Teacher: Our Quaid e Azam was born.

Now tell me what is important in 1880??

Pathan: Sir Quaid e Azam became 4 years old

 

[v9s]

There was this guy riding down the road when he sees this pretty young lady standing with her thumb out.
The driver pulls over and offers her a ride.

She gets in and later on down the road she says, My name is June Hanson.

He says, My name is Gene Snow.

Later on down the road she looks over at him and says, Why do you keep sizing me up?

He says, I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June.

 

[v9s]

http://onlinemba.com/images/internet-****.jpg