Joke

[jha]

Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on.

That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!"

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.

"Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder."

Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"

"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried.

Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!"

In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!"

Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"

At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy! He served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!

 

[jha]

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat..... 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache'..... It worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a 'Ball of Fire' in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy! That was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife..."

His funeral service will be held on Friday!

 

[Marshmallow]

 

[Ikes]

Superman writes on the wall: Batman is a wuss.
The next day, Batman writes on the wall: Superman is Clark Kent.

 

[jha]

Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room.

He knocks on the door and asks his mom what's going on.

"Playing cards," she replies.

"Who's your partner?" asked little johnny.

"Your father!"

Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister's room.

Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing.

"Playing cards."

"With who?" he asks.

"My boyfriend!" she says.

A short while later, Little Johnny's father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny's room.

He knocks on the door and asks "What are you doing?"

"Playing cards!" replied Johnny.

"Who's your partner?" asked his father.

Little Johnny answers promptly, "With a hand like this who needs a partner?"

 

[jha]

Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny."

He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"

Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

 

[jha]

This guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.

When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.

The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.

Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on.

Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.

The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.

 

[Ayush]

is that how u search marsha??

 

[OrionHunter]

What is the vice of a Vice Admiral?
.
.
.
The rear of a Rear Admiral!!

 

[Marshmallow]

is that how u search marsha??

hehe yeh mayb

 

[Ayush]

 

[Marshmallow]

hey dun start boy vs girls im expert in thez type competitions

 

[Ayush]

hey dun start boy vs girls im expert in thez type competitions

hehe,i know..did this intentionally.. to see your response..

 

[Marshmallow]

hehe,i know..did this intentionally.. to see your response..

 

[Ayush]

very true...in fact my folders have similar names...