Joke
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asad71
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3 Lessons I learnt Working Corporate
Those who have worked in the corporate world know that it is a kind of jungle, where only some survive. Over the years, a few lessons have been made clear to those who work in the world of big corporations. These 3 lessons are the most valuable of the lot, and I feel that I have to share them with you. Warning, some rude language ahead!
Those who have worked in the corporate world know that it is a kind of jungle, where only some survive. Over the years, a few lessons have been made clear to those who work in the world of big corporations. These 3 lessons are the most valuable of the lot, and I feel that I have to share them with you. Warning, some rude language ahead!
Stealing bits from a dialogue, tho it was slightly diff from what i am writing.3 Lessons I learnt Working Corporate
Those who have worked in the corporate world know that it is a kind of jungle, where only some survive. Over the years, a few lessons have been made clear to those who work in the world of big corporations. These 3 lessons are the most valuable of the lot, and I feel that I have to share them with you. Warning, some rude language ahead!
There are no shortcuts in corporate world. Quick artists come and go ,only steady players make it thru.
unbiasedopinion
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dray
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Next time somebody asks me whether to go for wealth or wisdom I am going to narrate this story:
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom."Done! " says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something. "
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom."Done! " says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something. "
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
dray
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Our parents always taught us never to speak ill of anyone,but they never told us the reason....
Now i know.......
A priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil! "
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil? "
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody! "
Now i know.......
A priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil! "
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil? "
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody! "
MastanKhan
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An out-of-towner was driving through a small town in Montana and passed a restaurant. He wanted to make a U-turn, but saw a police officer just up ahead. He pulls up and asks the officer, "Excuse me, but can you make a u-turn?" The officer looks at the fella and says, "Well hell yeah! I can even make her eyes bug out!"
I am so hungry. May kis pdf er ko khaoon. :‘-(
@fakhre mirpur can i eat u or @Sage ?
Mastankhan sir can i eat u.
@fakhre mirpur can i eat u or @Sage ?
Zibago
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I am toxic
Last edited:
fatman17
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> And now a few gems from Air Traffic Control
>
> =========================
>
> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles ."
> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
>
> =========================
>
> "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
> "Center, we are at 35,000 feet . How much noise can we make up here?"
> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
>
> =========================
>
> O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:
> "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock , three miles,
> Eastbound."
> United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little
> Fokker in sight."
>
> =========================
>
> A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out
> after touching down.
> San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of
> the runway, if you are able.
> If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right
> at the lights and return to the airport."
>
> =========================
>
> A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the
> following:
> Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
> Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English.
> Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany
> . Why must I speak English?"
> Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because
> you lost the bloody war."
>
> =========================
>
> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of
> the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
> The DC-8 landed, rolled out turned around, and taxied back past the
> Cherokee.
> Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What
> a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
> The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real
> zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
> Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
>
> ==========================
>
> While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
> departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a
> United 727.
> An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,
> screaming:
> "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto
> Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's
> difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
>
>
> Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
> hysterically:
> "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out!
> You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!
> You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I
> want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how tell you!
> You got that, US Air 2771?"
>
> "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
>
> Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent
> after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging
> the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.
>
> Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
>
>
> Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,
> asking, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
>
> =========================
>
> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles ."
> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
>
> =========================
>
> "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
> "Center, we are at 35,000 feet . How much noise can we make up here?"
> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
>
> =========================
>
> O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:
> "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock , three miles,
> Eastbound."
> United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little
> Fokker in sight."
>
> =========================
>
> A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long roll out
> after touching down.
> San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of
> the runway, if you are able.
> If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right
> at the lights and return to the airport."
>
> =========================
>
> A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the
> following:
> Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
> Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English.
> Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany
> . Why must I speak English?"
> Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because
> you lost the bloody war."
>
> =========================
>
> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of
> the active runway while a DC-8 landed.
> The DC-8 landed, rolled out turned around, and taxied back past the
> Cherokee.
> Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What
> a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
> The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real
> zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.
> Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
>
> ==========================
>
> While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight
> departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a
> United 727.
> An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew,
> screaming:
> "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto
> Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's
> difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
>
>
> Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
> hysterically:
> "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out!
> You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!
> You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I
> want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how tell you!
> You got that, US Air 2771?"
>
> "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
>
> Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent
> after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging
> the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.
>
> Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
>
>
> Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,
> asking, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
Shot-Caller
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asad71
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Letter from Sardarji's Mom
Dear Banta
Vahe Guru!
I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm
writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved
20 miles.
I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here
took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would
not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be
able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address
will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The
first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a
little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so
we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really
badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in
this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it
is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or
Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him
and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill
his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea
after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging
a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
Dear Banta
Vahe Guru!
I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm
writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved
20 miles.
I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here
took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would
not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be
able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address
will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The
first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a
little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so
we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really
badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in
this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it
is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or
Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him
and he burned for three days.
Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill
his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea
after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging
a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
