one day Muslims, all over the world will hear the screams of suffering thus leading to Ghazwa e Hind
"Figuring Md. Bin Kasim : how pakistan was won"
- by Nadeem F Parcha
Ever since the 1980s, many Pakistani
school text books have unflappably
claimed that the history of Pakistan
does not start from 14 August 1947,
but from the date Arab warrior,
Muhammad Bin Qasim, conquered Sindh in the 8th Century … Though most true Pakistani patriots
believe this, they differ on some of the
details as to exactly how Qasim
achieved this wonderful feat of gifting
the world with what has gone on to
become one of the finest, strongest and most pious Islamic republics in
the whole wide world. For example, according to the famous
intellectual/historian/scholar/long-
haired-guy, Zaid Hamid, Pakistan
actually came into being the moment
Muhammad Bin Qasim was born. Zaid suggests that Qasim’s birth
symbolises the birth of Pakistan and
thus, Pakistan actually came into being
on 31 December, 695 AD. Zaid Hamid is known to celebrate
Pakistan’s Day of Independence on 31
December instead of 14 August. He
does this by resolving to plant the
victorious Pakistan flag in India,
China, Iran, US, UK, Kirghizstan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan and
Balochistan. __________________________ The greatest Islamic political party in
the whole wide ummah, the Jamat-e- Islami (JI), also believes that
Pakistan’s creation goes back to the
days of Muhammad Bin Qasim’s rule
in Sindh in the 8th century. But JI claims that Qasim was initially
against creating Pakistan because there
were just too many Hindus,
Buddhists, Jain and Liberal Fascists in
Sindh. However, after the religious scholars
in his entourage had successfully
converted many non-Muslims, Qasim
realised that most of the converts had
distorted the faith and were erecting
minarets over their places of worship and calling them mosques. Qasim was outraged. He sacked Sindh
all over again, demolished the
minarets and declared the creation of
Pakistan. He also banned all food
products made by the heretics. His heroics made his fans begin to call
him ‘Boom, Boom Qasim.’ According
to JI the roots of the present day name
‘Boom, Boom Afridi’ can be found in
this event. Famous theological cricket
theoretician, Inzimamul Haq agrees:
‘Fusst of all, thanks to Qasim Bhai,
his boys play very well, conquering
Sindh in overcast conditions, and
jubilee-ous jubilation of victory make boys jumping and calling brother
Qasim, Boom Boom Qasim, just fusst
must like today’s peoples of ummah calls pious manly mans likes Afridi,
Boom Boom Afridi …’ __________________________ Though not entirely disagreeing with
the JI, the Difa-e-Pakistan Council
(DPC) claims that Qasim was chosen
by the security chief of the Caliph in
Iraq to lead a long march into Sindh to
block the supply route of Christian and Jew forces that were using Sindh
to transport weapons against the
Caliphate. DPC historians say that Qasim
gathered the healthiest ulema (especially around the waist) and
formed an organisation called Al-Difa-
ul-Bakistan (also called NUTO), and
led a long march to Sindh. After successfully blocking the
infidels’ supply route, Qasim and his
healthy men fought a jihad against the
Hindu rulers of Sindh and then went
on to create Pakistan. Famous theological cricket
theoretician, Inzimamul Haq agrees:
‘Fusst of all, thanks to Qasim bhai,
his fat boys bat well, killing yahood-
o-nisara-o-Hinds, after long long
marches, left-right, left-right, thanks to camels, boys block infidels’ goods
that where actually bads, and fusst and
lusst thanks to brother Qasim,
Pakistan Zindabad was made …’ __________________________ Interestingly, the Pakistan military
also has its own version of how
Qasim created Pakistan. It suggests that Pakistan was created
by General Muhammad Bin Qasim
after he defeated the Hindu army. But it claims that Qasim’s troops first
quietly (and strategically) entered
Afghanistan thus giving itself depth
from which it moved into Kashmir. Just why Qasim did that is not
explained but the military says it had
something to do with ‘strategic depth.’ So after entering Afghanistan and then
Kashmir, Qasim’s army strategically
came down to Sindh. Then from Sindh
it sailed back to Iraq. Military historians say this was a
brilliant strategic and in-depth move
by the Arab general and it was this
move that helped him sail back to
Sindh, conquer it, declare the creation
of Pakistan and rule it as General Qasim-e-Azam. Many non-military historians are still
confused as to why on earth would
Qasim take his army from Sindh to
Afghanistan, then to Kashmir and
from Kashmir to Sindh, back to Iraq
and from Iraq back to Sindh. ‘Strategic depth, dammit!’ says the
military. But the great Gandhian yoga master
and Amresh Puri fan, Bal Thakrey
disagrees: ‘What is this funda, no?
Pakijtan not created by Qajim.
Pakijtan not created at all. All was and
is Ram Raj. Qajim was pakka badhmash. Couldn’t even dance, no?
Should have come to Gujrat. But now
these goondahs say Pakiijtan is reality.
Chalo, never mind. Ganda hai par
dhanda hai ye …’ __________________________ Famous cricketer-turned-politician-
turned-revolutionary-weather-
phenomenon, Imran Khan, finds all
Qasim theories far-fetched. He says
that Pakistan was solely created by
Muhammad Ali Jinnah. However, he does concede that the
ideological basis for a future Islamic
state in the region was laid down by
Qasim. Talking on a TV show he said:
‘Daikhien, Hamid, aap koh nahi pata,
Muhammad Bin Qasim was such an
inspiration for Jinnah and Iqbal and
Pasha and me. He swept across the
Arabian Sea like a tsunami and crashed over Sindh, sweeping the
elections and forming the first Islamic
Welfare State in the sub-continent.’ When asked that didn’t this mean that
Pakistan was created by Qasim, Khan
said: ‘Daikhien, Hamid, aap koh nahi
pata, Qasim was a Jinnah of his time,
even though he was a bit younger than
Jinnah and had healthier lungs. Jinnah and Iqbal and Pasha and me all want
to finally turn comrade Qasim’s vision
of making this land that he liberated
from Hindu imperialists, Nato forces
and liberal scum, into a prosperous
Islamic welfare state - like Singapore and South Korea.’ When told that Singapore and South
Korea were not Islamic, Khan said:
‘Daikhien, Hamid, aap ko nahi pata
…’ ‘Nahi, sab aap hi koh pata hai.’ ‘Haan, that’s true. So, dekhien Hamid,
aap koh nahi pata, every human being
in this world, except liberal scum and
Sarfraz Nawaz, is a Muslim. Of
course, we are better Muslims, but
Jinnah and Iqbal and Pasha and me have decided to form an honourable,
collective jirga that will work towards
the creation of a Qasim-ist Islamic
Welfare State.’ But when reminded that Jinnah and
Iqbal were no more, Khan said: ‘See,
this is the kind of negative thinking
that is harming our cause. Just
imagine that they are alive. Imagine
that I have swept the elections.” He added: ‘Deikhien, Hamid, aap koh
nahi pata, Qasim actually came and
liberated Sindh on a giant tsunami
wave. There was a disturbance in the
plate tectonics in the Caliphate’s GHQ
in Iraq that triggered this tsunami and helped Qasim reach Sindh. In a two-
pronged strategy, he slaughtered the
Hindu oppressors but held a dialogue
with radical Muslim Kharijites.
Kharijites were beheading fellow
Muslims because bad Muslims were helping Christian and Jew Crusaders
carry drone attacks against them.’ When told there were no drones in the
8th century, Khan said: ‘See. This is
the kind of negative thinking that is
destroying our pride. Dakhien Hamid,
aap koh nahi pata, there is now
another tsunami rising on which, just like Qasim Tiger, Jinnah and Iqbal and
Pasha and me will surf in and take
over. Booyah, yo!’ Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic
and senior columnist for Dawn
Newspaper and Dawn.com
