So heres the deal- to work in society for jobs as a Teacher, Nurse, Doctor, Engineer, Researcher, possibly Cake Decorator or even Mechanic (at least in developed nations) you either need a degree, diploma or certificate. Agree? And then how good you are at your job comes down to your own investment, interest, drive, personality, social company and career counseling.
To earn a decent and respectable living, our families, nuclear and extended, stress on investing towards a career or studying. The thought process is that once you achieve the required qualifications, you will land a good earning job, which will eventually skyrocket you to stackable wealth and infinite purchasing power. Hence you shall live an amazing life.
Simultaneously, society expects you to get married and have children, in the process of achieving this amazing life. What is the importance of getting married? Just because it is part of life and because somehow chances of it happening are inversely related to your age (for females) but positively related for males. But what do you need to get married and have children? Just a companion, almost any would do at times or someone who possesses a rather impossible list of human traits.
Hmmm, if marriage and children are part of leading such an amazing life- why dont we hold it to the same credentials as coveted careers and jobs? Instead of throwing young uneducated adults into a life long situation with a psychologically imposed no-quits option, why dont we demand the same certification, diploma and degree level understanding?
How many of our Muslim young adults know why they are getting married? The rights and responsibilities of the spouse? How to choose their spouse? Sunnah of marriage ceremonies? Why have children? Rights and responsibilities of children and vice versa of parents? All these questions and their answers are not related to age nor wealth nor personality.
As is the basic right of individuals to education, it is each individuals basic right, as part of the Muslim Ummah, to be educated about marriage and its importance.
I dream of marriages to come about after extensive training and understanding- not only will that solve most grievances post-marriage, but better upbringing of our future Muslim youth.
I propose our masjids/Islamic schools to hold multiple courses of the following structured certification before marriage.
1. Importance of marriage in Islam and why?
2. Eligibility for marriage.
3. Rights and responsibilities in marriage of spouse and respective in-laws
4. How to choose a spouse? Dealing with a marriage proposal- handling expectations
5. Marriage contract- nikkah and its understanding- placing trust in Allah swt?
6. Sunnah of marriage ceremonies- stories from the Prophet pbuh and Ansar
7. What is marriage like? Working on your marriage and its barakah
8. Why have children? As blessings and Sadqah Jarriyah
9. Rights of children and parents rights on them
10. How to nurture and raise children- Importance of raising children for society and in the eyes of Allah swt.
Perhaps after this could be certified, marriage should be allowed in the first place.
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