Are you Eligible for Marriage?

[Last Hope]

but individualy we should change and try to bring a better society

Everyone says this, but when their time approaches, they tend to mix with the culture. Yet, ofcoruse, you are right at your side. It is individuals who make up the society.

 

[Alpha1]

Everyone says this, but when their time approaches, they tend to mix with the culture. Yet, ofcoruse, you are right at your side. It is individuals who make up the society.

I COMPLETELY AGREE!

its called mujboori
.
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It requires a SUPERMAN courage to go against the grain!

 

[Dubious]

Everyone says this, but when their time approaches, they tend to mix with the culture. Yet, ofcoruse, you are right at your side. It is individuals who make up the society.

@Last Hope that is why they should have my type of attitude....we dont really care much about what people say...NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO people / society will still talk ...its literally their pofession

I leave you guys with 2 stories hope you enjoy:

he Farmer's Donkey: A Fable for Our Time

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out a way to get him out. Finally he decided it was probably impossible and the animal was old and the well was dry anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to try and retrieve the donkey. So the farmer asked his neighbors to come over and help him cover up the well. They all grabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, when the donkey realized what was happening he cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down and let out some happy brays. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well to see what was happening and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was shaking it off and taking a step up. (Shifting)

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, to everyone's amazement, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Every adversity can be turned into a stepping stone. The way to get out of the deepest well is by never giving up but by shaking yourself off and taking a step up.

What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it.

Author Unknown

 

[livingdead]

Everyone says this, but when their time approaches, they tend to mix with the culture. Yet, ofcoruse, you are right at your side. It is individuals who make up the society.

lot of poor people's livelyhood depend on marriage industry(at least here in India). The chance that people will donate or do anything good with the money saved is remote. So why not let few people benefit from it.
I Am not suggesting to spend money beyond your means(applies to any activity not only marriage).

 

[Dubious]

2nd story is 1 of my fav about society:

A farmer and his son were walking their donkey to market, where they were going to sell him. They had not gone far when they met a bunch of giggling girls.
“Look there!” cried one of them. “Aren’t they a foolish pair to be trudging along on foot when one of them could be riding?”
When the farmer heard this, he told his son to get up on the donkey. They then went along happily until they came to a group of men talking by the side of the road.
“My, my!” said one of the men. “Just look at that young fellow riding in comfort while his poor old father has to walk.”
“Get off that donkey, you lazy boy!” shouted another, “and let your father ride.”
Right away, the son slid off the donkey, and the farmer took his place. Before they had gone far, they passed a group of housewives.
“Why, you heartless old fellow!” cried several of the women at once. “How can you ride when your poor tired child can hardly keep up with you? What mean fathers there are nowadays!”
So the good-natured farmer pulled his son up behind him, and they both rode along on the donkey’s back. When they reached the town, a villager pointed at them. “Tell me,” he asked the farmer, “is that donkey yours?”
“Yes,” replied the farmer.
“I would never have thought so,” said the villager, “from the way you load him down. You should be ashamed of yourself! The two of you are better able to carry that poor beast than he is to carry you.”
“You are right!” agreed the farmer. Then he and his son got down from the donkey’s back.
How could they possibly carry the donkey? The farmer puzzled over this for a long time. Then at last an idea came to him. Cutting a think branch from a nearby tree, he trimmed it into a stout pole. With some difficulty, he and his son tied the donkey’s feet to the pole and lifted both the pole and the donkey to their shoulders.
By the time they reached the town bridge, a whole crowd of people had gathered to hoot and laugh at the funny-looking sight. The donkey, frightened by the racket, took it into his head to kick at the ropes. All of a sudden, he pulled loose from the pole and tumbled off the bridge into the water. Since he was unable to swim, he soon drowned.
The farmer and his son hung their heads in shame and started back home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The moral of this story is this:
If you try to please everyone, you may end up pleasing no one at all.

 

[Alpha1]

The moral of this story is this:
If you try to please everyone,
you may end up pleasing no
one at all.
SO TRUE!

 

[Dubious]

pregnancy has more than 60 complications

Ectopic pregnancy
Abdominal pregnancy
Cervical pregnancy
Interstitial pregnancy
Ovarian pregnancy
Hydatidiform mole
Miscarriage


Acute fatty liver of pregnancy
Hepatitis E
Hyperemesis gravidarum
Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy

Integumentary system /
dermatoses of pregnancy


Gestational pemphigoid
Impetigo herpetiformis
Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy
Linea nigra
Prurigo gestationis
Pruritic folliculitis of pregnancy
Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP)
Striae gravidarum

@zainabfatima I am not a doctor so I wont be reading through:

the day you learn to see the end product instead of crying through the task....you will reach success ....PLUS ask the women in the West who pay MILLIONS to adopt, go for IVF fertilization clinics and what not...maybe then you will realize the value of a child...

Even getting out of the house has a few things like you may be

hit by a car/or any other vehicle
a robber/druggy might rob you or stab you
rapist
abduction
random accident
something might fall on you (if you walk under a building)
you can even fall while just walking....get a concussion
you can get cancer from the sun rays
you can get cancer from a lot of the ingredients in today's food so even eating is dangerous
get shot if you walk in a shabby zone



EVEN SITTING at home has its own risk:

you may breathe in CO and die from its poisoning sitting at home
house may burn
robber may break in....attack/rape

must i list all the risks you take when you are alive?

 

[KingMamba]

@Zarvan @forcetrip @Aeronaut @Armstrong @Talon @Thorough Pro @LoveIcon @Alpha1 @Argus Panoptes @Slav Defence @BDforever @Mani2020 @A.Rafay @KingMamba93 @Luftwaffe @Leader @AstanoshKhan @Conqueror @Last Hope @pkd @Al Bhatti @Tameem @Awesome @Mabs @graphican @Rafael @Adios Amigo





your opinion guys??? On just eejab-o-kabool, a ring, & 2 witnesses???



One think that's most important for Muslims to know is what it means to be married???
Does it mean to have a HUGE gathering of 200-500 people. On Mehndi, on Nikah & then on Walima?
Does it mean to spend 5-7 lac ruppees?
Does it mean to have all those unnecessary rituals some of which Pakistani's copy from indian movies (Patka, dance, mehndi, dhoolkee!!) & others they do under cultural pressures (Jahaiz, & other exchange of jewellery & expensive gifts every-time families meet!!!)

What is marriage in islam?

Eejab-o-Kabool, a ring, 2 witnesses that's it​

Eejab-o-Kabool means taking each other as spouse, as life-partners, with intention to start a family life. Committing to each other

Three schools of thought say that having 2 witnesses is needed.
Fourth school say even that is NOT a compulsory requirement, just put a ring on her & that's it. It's just that it has to be announced & NOT a secretive relation nor a one-night-stand. Announcing doesn't mean every single person in community has to know.


Like when they say in West "I am in relationship with so-&-so", they fulfill almost all requirements of marriage as it is in Islam. Except for "Haq-Mahr"...

But then about Haq-Mahr Prophet recommended "Do marry even if it is for just a ring"...


So many if not all western style relationships fulfill ALL three conditions of islamic-marriage
1>Eejab-o-Kabool. (committing to each other)
2>Announcing it. (not one night stand, nor secretive just-for-sex getting together.)
3>Haq-Mehr. (a ring or other gift)

(Walima is sunnah, NOT farz)

Point is, as easy as marriage is in islam, our culture has made it into an insurmountable expensive task. That results in frustration among youth.

@Rusty if u marry as per islamic tradition, eejab-o-kabool, 2 witnesses, & a ring then you don't have to worry about losing half ur property...

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With that I must also point out that Muslims don't know what is the proper way to divorce...
Prophet once rebuked a guy by saying that "he doesn't even know how to divorce properly"
Quran says don't expel lady from your house until she has finished her "Iddat"
Once a sahabi divorced & immediately send lady to her fathers house, Prophet scolded him & told him to bring her back until she completes her iddat & then send her to fathers house.

Such method leaves room for reconciliation, & u know in islam we can we r allowed to get back together after first two "Talaaks" but not after third Talaak...



Justlike Zarvan posted.


Parents should also be frank to their children. Father should talk to son(s) Mother should talk to daughter(s) on topic of marriage. If not then guys learn all sorts of rubbish & false information on sex from their friends who are not well versed to be advisers. Also end up confining talk on private issues to dirty jokes.

Our culture has developed un-necessary shame while Prophet Muhammad & even ladies of his time used to talk on topic of private life without hesitation. To share information not to make dirty jokes...
.
Teach Your Kids the Sunnah on Sex, Love and Relationships - Suhaib Webb - YouTube

If Muslims start to marry the islamic way, at an earlier age , they'll be able to focus better on studies, on job, on other aspects of life rather than thinking of girls all the time while staying sex deprived. No time wasted watching ****.... This will result in prosperity... In golden age of islam, muslims were getting married at earlier age. When we started to delay marriage to later age our status went down.

Look in Western culture, China & Japanese etc, they start sex life at earlier age & hence end up performing better in science, studies, sports etc. Do start sex life as early as possible, just make it the islamic way, (1)Make a commitment (2)Have 2 witnesses (3)Put a ring on her (4)take few friends on lunch as walima...

I think this was well written and I agree to it except marriage still scares the jeebies out of me.

@Slav Defence yes you are 100% correct, this jahiz bullsht has done great harm also this 3 day marriage ritual desis do has nothing to do with Islam and bankrupts many a family.

Anyway all Muslim men and female have to get married eventually as it is proscribed on us.

 

[Last Hope]

@Talon

Same is the case here, and trust me, there isn't a positive feedback from the society about it.

lot of poor people's livelyhood depend on marriage industry(at least here in India). The chance that people will donate or do anything good with the money saved is remote. So why not let few people benefit from it.
I Am not suggesting to spend money beyond your means(applies to any activity not only marriage).

People also live off selling illegal drugs and illegal weapons. This suggests we should encourage them for their livelihood? I believe in simple weddings and not grand weddings. Diversity is the key law of business. I suggest them to have other specializations side by side.
@zainabfatima

You are entitled to your views and rest of the women are to theirs. You cannot force your opinion upon others, neither can anyone else force theirs upon you.

 

[Dubious]

@sur why like @Zarvan said is followed by a video I posted me and him are not the same people!! I assure you

 

[Zarvan]

@sur why like @Zarvan said is followed by a video I posted me and him are not the same people!! I assure you

what are you talking about ?

 

[KingMamba]

ew...two things i dread the most, reading and marraige LOLOLLOLOLOL!
But I'll be a good friend and sign you up for them bc we all know how much up like this stuff...uhmm...what are these classes called again? Suicide 101?



@KingMamba93... now your turn dear... paarro

Rusty I agree with you 100% ...on the bolded part of course

Kisi nai mere yaar rusty kah dil tor diya.

@Rusty

 

[Alpha1]

what is so painful about people having a bit of fun.

IT ISNT FUN FOR THE BRIDE'S FAMILY WHO PAY FOR IT

 

[Dubious]

..

Justlike Zarvan posted.

@Zarvan after this statement, it is followed by my video? right? It was joke gone wrong

 

[M.harris]

IT ISNT FUN FOR THE BRIDE'S FAMILY WHO PAY FOR IT

BRIDE DRESS ARRANGED BY THE GROOMS FAMILY AND GROOMS DRESS ARRANGED BY THE BRIDE FAMILY THATS WHAT I KNOW MAY BE WRONG DEPENDS ON THE BOTH FAMILIES