Feminism, Sita & Draupadi
Tavleen Singh
“A free race cannot be born of slave mothers.”
On the occasion of celebrating womanhood worldwide through International Women’s Day, many remembered this saying - probably for a day. It is a reminder of what we forget and ignore about women in our society everyday. It is apt to remember a few heroic women from the epics of Indian mythology, women who are perhaps the first inspirers in upholding the ideals of womanhood and feminism.
The two greatest epics of Indian mythology - the Ramayana and the Mahabharata, have been composed centrally around two women & their stories - Sita and Draupadi. Both, of the five ‘Sreshta Naris’ (literally pure & chaste women), have shaped the Indian psyche. They were torch bearers of women’s rights who have only grown more relevant in this modern age.
Initially known to be the perfect "docile" wife to the ideal Prince Rama, Sita’s personality matured in the fire of self-realisation. She forced her way to accompany Rama in exile, when custom demanded she stay put in the palace. After her abduction by Ravana, a series of events unfolded to test not just her integrity and chastity, but also her strength and belief in herself and the courage to rise out of those adversities with her head held high.
In Lanka, she had to protect herself from the advances of Ravana. After her rescue, when she was unexpectedly and cruelly rejected by Rama, she had to take the test of fire, or ‘Agnipariksha’, to prove her purity and truthfulness, to stop wagging tongues that cursed her for living with another man (wholly disregarding the fact that she was a captive against her will). [Bear in mind that Rama was considered the ideal man as he chose not to take more than one wife - a hypocritical yet socially accepted & expected norm of that time. This obsession with chastity of women seems very symptomatic of the past & so several times seems to have formed a controversial crux of the story.]
Even after putting her self-respect aside and accepting Rama back, she was again deserted by him in the forests when she was pregnant with his two sons. It was no surprise when this woman of steel still managed to come through and raise her twins without their father. This was a critical juncture in Ramayana when a woman who was always taught how to be a good, obedient & socially-acceptable wife, found this immense strength in her to lead an independent life and be a single-mother.
A strong and beautiful princess, Draupadi, was known to be an aggressive woman who spoke her mind in a world where women would silently suffer rather than speak. She was known to challenge the male ego without the typical cause and effect analysis that stopped all women of her time. The first famous-infamous polyandrous woman, she proudly & deftly handled the love of five brothers. She was the only known woman to have, shockingly for her time, openly insulted the Kuru elders and her husbands. Well versed with laws of the state, she questioned the very concept of Dharma. A pioneer of feminism - she fought for her rights when her enslaved husbands lost her in a game of Chausar (modern day Ludo). Step back thousands of years - imagine the spine in a woman who stood for herself in the court of the most powerful kings of that time & literally stood her ground. Not just that, with striking dignity she refused to take the third boon Dhritarashtra offered as peace offering; because with her husbands free and in possession of their weapons (with the first two boons), she did not need any more favours.
Draupadi was a woman proud of her choices in life, not afraid to make her own rules. She taught, way back then, that a woman eventually can be ‘husbanded’, yet be unprotected. This remarkable woman never asked anything for herself. Born unwanted, thrust abruptly into a polyandrous marriage, she seemed to have had a profound awareness of being an instrument in bringing about the end of an effete epoch so that a new age could begin. She transcended her lower self and became an instrument of higher design.
Can anyone imagine what it must have been to suffer attempted disrobing (Draupadi vastraharan) at the hands of a brother-in-law in front of all the elders of the family? To be married to the five most fierce warriors of the age and instead of retribution, to be exiled. Then to be molested & kidnapped, only to have the criminal (Jarasandh) forgiven for the sake of "dharma". To be molested a third time in a court (Keechak) and swallow the acid of "peace" yet again. And finally she found victory when all her sons, kith and kin (sans her husbands) were slain. Still she remained sane. Cursed was a woman so beautiful. But did she buckle down? If she had, we probably wouldn't have heard of the Mahabharata.
It is hard not to notice a pattern here - that of the voice of moderation & peace mongering of Yudhishthir. Right up to the end, he along with Draupadi's best friend, Krishna, 'fought for peace'. Back in those days, and in most cultures even today, the role of a man was to protect his wife. That Yudhishthir was always able to place the State & Dharma over his duties to his wife (except when he conveniently wanted to put the kingdom at stake on a whim) speaks volumes. If the most coveted and powerful queen had to suffer this, how could a simple woman have fared better? Thankfully land & kingdoms are no more linked to livelihood. Today women can be self-dependent. Men are now companions, not protectors. Some semblance of balance is being restored in our universe.
It is a little difficult to relate to Sita when compared to the fierce tongued Draupadi. For feminism is mostly equated with bra-burning and some angst. That is as incorrect & stereotypical as slotting athletic women as "good-enough-to-be-a-man". Being a woman means not having to be a man. Physical strength does not set us apart. It is an established physiological fact. But will a man ever be able to bear the pains of childbirth? No, a woman's strongest strengths are love, kindness and much more that makes the world a more beautiful place. Picture that and you see how Sita was full of strength and love. How she protected all that was hers until her last breath. Yes, her story was a sad and unfair one. But with all the downs she saw, she managed to keep the beauty in her life. She chose to remain standing, the first single mother of our culture.
In the present era, one of the biggest ironies in the Indian culture is that where many worship Mother Nature, Mother Earth, and powerful women as Goddesses depicting wealth, prosperity, health and knowledge; the actual social situation of Indian women remains being the stark opposite of this. A woman might want to fight back, but in a rigid social set-up, there are a lot of mental, emotional and social barriers that are restraining her from truly fighting her way out. When your enemy is a stranger, a third person, it is easier to gather strength and fight, but when it is someone who lives in your own home and shares a life with you, it becomes nearly impossible to fight & change so many hearts and minds.
Women have a lot of rigid morals and ideals indoctrinated right from birth. She realizes that being ‘lady-like’, ‘not retaliating’ and ‘enduring pain and hurt' are a natural heritage & should be accepted that way. When we talk about feminism and celebrating womanhood, we often say that women must come out of their cocoons and fight back for what they truly deserve. But, we must never forget that, it is very hard to fight an enemy who is also in your heart.
So, women, pledge instead to never let the hands that hold us, hold us down. Let us declare that being a woman, the greatest sin is to do nothing and not help fellow-women. Let us today, raise and honour those who inspire us, right from our mythological heroines to the modern day feminists and human rights workers. Follow the paths of many such real- life heroines who have shown the courage to open their minds and respect womanhood and their very being - our everyday Draupadis and Sitas!
The blog gives a poor example... IPad vs Holiday !!!
Really ??
Like this post if anyone thinks there are bigger problems than IPad or Holidays being solved by both husband and wife together amicably everyday.
one should be a avid reader then just scanning through the lines.
Sita Ya Draupadi?
Women’s day! Ring any bells? Yes…it is that time of the year again when the world wakes up from its year-long slumber to celebrate womanhood. In India, we have a unique way of celebrating. We take stock of all the successful women we have, from business to Bollywood, and then wave them as placards of a society which values and loves its women. And well…that is about all we do. At the stroke of the mid-night hour, these placards are once again stuffed into big bags, carefully preserved for use next year.
For the rest of the year, women faithfully take up their role as the oppressed, depressed and suppressed.
From birth till death, their lives are claimed by males, then be it their father, husband or son. A typical female in the Indian society spends the first 25 years obeying the rules and regulations set by her father. For the next fifty years (average) she is expected to comply with all the whims and fancies of her husband. If she is still lucky enough to survive, she becomes a full-time, non-paid maid for her sons (Pardon me for my bluntness, but that is exactly how it is.).
So where is the time when she lives for herself? When she does things as she likes, on her own terms? When does she express her individuality? In a country like India, where the girls are not welcome right from the time they are conceived, it is tough being a woman. Each day is a war for survival. There are no allies, just enemies.
The Indian woman has always been expected to take up the role of the ideal homemaker (catch any daily soap to see what I mean). They should be able to resolve conflicts peacefully, stand by their husband’s side even if he is wrong. They should be the ultimate example of patience and perseverance. If she wields her power, it is only for her husband’s sake. She never uses it for her own because that would be selfish and Indian women are not selfish.
Maybe this attitude towards women has roots in our mythology. We have Sita, Sati and Draupadi. Sita, who didn’t say a word when her husband questioned her character. Instead of putting up a fight, she sank down into the Earth. She knew she was right but couldn’t bring herself to oppose her husband. Sati, who jumped into flames, when it came to choosing between husband and father. Who willingly gave up her life, rather than dishonor one of the men who controlled her life. And Savitri, who undertook a long and difficult journey to get her husband back.
Obviously , a married woman can’t raise her voice today because Sita wouldn’t have done that. We do not have choices because Sati didn’t have any. We cannot just dump our husbands, even if he turns out to be an authoritative fool, because Savitri wouldn’t have done that. All along the way, we forget Draupadi, who is often called the very reason for Mahabharat. She defied all the normal marital laws. The very people who want us to be like Sita, refrain from commenting about Draupadi. She, who had five husbands, who claimed back her body when they gambled her as their property, who unbound her hair and challenged her husbands to bathe them with the blood of those who dishonored her. She has always been the controversial one.
From her view-point, Sita chose to go back to mother Earth because she didn’t consider it worth living with a man who didn’t trust her. Sati took the leap because she was fed up of this male-dominated world. They seem to be the most misinterpreted women to me. Their bold actions have been toned down and wrapped in the soothing fabric of ‘womanly duties’. What they did for themselves, has been projected as acts of selflessness and devotion to their husbands by the male pundits and gurus. The result: Unrealistic expectations from the women today.
Women seem to have no voice of their own. All they have is their body and soul, which has also been claimed by the administrators of society. They are worshipped as creators of life, yet their own life is one of never-ending pain, sacrifices and prejudices.
But why go back to their era? You’ll get concrete proof of what I want to say soon enough. This year, Holi and women’s day coincide. See for yourself the incidents of eve-teasing and harassment that the young girls will be subjected to. Is that how we treat our women? Sadly, yes, it is.
