What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Divergent]

Yes we flutter around so gracefully like doves but can also turn into eagles so Zara bachke lol

So women are "birds"?

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

Yes we flutter around so gracefully like doves but can also turn into eagles so Zara bachke lol

And, pop on cars,sit on wires..

 

[Divergent]

And, pop on cars,sit on wires..

Females usually go for those who can handle them

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

Females usually go for those who can handle them

A "MAN" can handle them.

On topic, I believe that all parties , mother in law,husband,wife should be understanding...
even if 1 of them isn't.. it's a shyt show.

 

[Divergent]

A "MAN" can handle them.

On topic, I believe that all parties , mother in law,husband,wife should be understanding...
even if 1 of them isn't.. it's a shyt show.

Yes but the newly Weds require a lot of space and should be left to make independent decisions instead of slamming a whole load of household duties. Husbands should help out especially if she's covering his family chores as well that is not fair. Imagine if it was the other way round? If a man had to move in with his Wife, he's just about getting used to the whole environment and his Mrs always has to check or seek permission from her family to carry out simple decisions of going out to eat, or he has to sort out his in laws laundry, make food for them, whilst his Mrs is out late.

Give us girls a break. This is why most girls prefer there own space and household

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

Yes but the newly Weds require a lot of space and should be left to make independent decisions instead of slamming a whole load of household duties. Husbands should help out especially if she's covering his family chores as well that is not fair. Imagine if it was the other way round? If a man had to move in with his Wife, he's just about getting used to the whole environment and his Mrs always has to check or seek permission from her family to carry out simple decisions of going out to eat, or he has to sort out his in laws laundry, make food for them, whilst his Mrs is out late.

Give us girls a break. This is why most girls prefer there own space and household

I married a couple of months back...

I've gone through all that... so I talk with experience...

Chores etc isn't a problem, unless you come from a middle class family... where the poor " bahu" has a nagging mother in law, a crappy husband and has to do all the chores herself.

The thing is that whatever the situation, if you live in a joint family ... both the mother in law & the daughter in law, should live in mother and daughter instead of "saas and Bahu".

I'm blessed when it comes to that.

 

[Zibago]

Why is this thread not dying

 

[DESERT FIGHTER]

Why is this thread not dying

It's funny to see you dishing out advices ...

Pehlay shadi tou kar lay bhai.

Kab bhabi graduation karay, kab tou koi kaam karay, aur kab Teri Shadi ho..

 

[Verve]

Well guy women do need maids for helping and sharing the work .

Do u wake up early and make nashta for your wife and her family ? And then your wife goes to work and you're busy with cooking , cleaning , cleaning shit of kidd , pressing the clothes of your wife and her family , then your wife comes from office and you've to serve her lunch then she goes to a deep calming sleep while you're still busy in housework , washing the dishes , cutting vegetables for night's dinner ?
Whole your wife only has to wake up from sleep and drink the tea you made and then go out with friends to a golf club , and then eat the dinner you made for her .
Guess what you've to do it daily , without caring that you're on mood or not tired or you're tired or you you're sick . So yes , women do need maid for support even prophet saww provided a maid to his beloved daughter for sharing the work .


Such cases are rare , very rare where joint family is satisfactory .
I know many married women in my life who live with joint family system , and only one among them is living a good life others are beaten , forced , pressurised , taunt and ridiculed by the family and husband .

It seems for you the running of a house is a nightmare for women.

Let's take the example of UK. A man wakes up at 6am, shower & breakfast (own), leave the house at 7am, get to work for 9am (yes, 2 hours travel door to door), finish at 5pm (if lucky) and reach home at 7pm. That's effectively working for 13hours with a half hour lunch break. And if the person leaves work at 7pm (which is not unusual) and reaches home at 9pm, then that's a 15hours work day. Then bed at 10pm latest. And the person pays 100% for living expenses.

Now if the wife has to do all the housework including school drop and pickup and cook and general cleaning, should that be an issue? If the house is relatively organised, daily cleaning is not necessary and husband helps out deep clean every weekend. Let's see, shall we? Wife's routine is 7.30am wake up, feed kids, drop off at school for 9am, shower etc breakfast & talk with parents/siblings & own time & one run of washing machine (9am-12pm), 15 minutes to hang clothes on airer, cook from 12pm-1.30pm, relax from 1.30pm-3.00pm, school pickup at 3.30pm, feed kids & homework (3.30pm-6pm), relax (6pm-7.30pm), kids bedtime snack and husband's dinner at 7.30pm, and then relax (8pm-10pm). Throw in a tea/coffee for hubby between 8pm-12pm (5-10 minutes max)

Husband's free/relax/rest time during work week: 1-3 hours per day (exc sleep), 9-11 hours per day (inc sleep)

Wife's free/relax/rest time during work week: 7-8 hours per day (exc sleep), 16.5-17.5 hours per day (inc sleep)

No one is undermining a housewife's role. But you also have to look at the other side sometimes. It is not a piece of cake and easy sailing for the man to go out to earn.

 

[Divergent]

I married a couple of months back...

I've gone through all that... so I talk with experience...

Chores etc isn't a problem, unless you come from a middle class family... where the poor " bahu" has a nagging mother in law, a crappy husband and has to do all the chores herself.

The thing is that whatever the situation, if you live in a joint family ... both the mother in law & the daughter in law, should live in mother and daughter instead of "saas and Bahu".

I'm blessed when it comes to that.

Well that's great. But Men need to consider if they have other siblings like other brothers in the house and when they have their own children, and they become teenagers they do require their own space and rooms. Quite frankly speaking most girls just want to walk around care free around the house

 

[Verve]

Females usually go for those who can handle them

Heading out for a meeting ... this one I have to comment on ... upon my return!

 

[El Sidd]

funny how that Indian guy who started the thread never returned. cheeky fellow. he is somewhere doing his Pheobe evil plan laugh

meanwhile all hell has broken loose over things none of us can control.

its a marriage it never works out. Ask Adam and Eve they would agree as well

 

[cleverrider]

Females usually go for those who can handle them

This is a contradiction to your previous comments, only if you can work it out. But then Again when was the last time a woman successfully worked out herself or their kind. On a lighter note, they cannot even decide on what they want to eat at a time.

 

[Divergent]

This is a contradiction to your previous comments, only if you can work it out. But then Again when was the last time a woman successfully work out herself or their kind. On a lighter note, they cannot even decide on what they want to eat at a time.

I'll give you that we usually can't decide what we want to eat lol

 

[Zibago]

It's funny to see you dishing out advices ...

Pehlay shadi tou kar lay bhai.

Kab bhabi graduation karay, kab tou koi kaam karay, aur kab Teri Shadi ho..

Ho jaye gi jaldi kiya hy pehly sari musibaton sey jan chut jaye kutay tey nayi paye pichay