What makes a good daughter-in-law

[M. Sarmad]

I am talking about general rule. You can off course add certain terms and condition in nikkah nama and its up to man to give up his rights for you before signing on this civil contract or Nikkah naam whatever you call it. If this family law about polygamy is not Unislamic then why its not being implemented in rest of Muslim countries. You need to read " The Debate Over Polygamy In the Context of Muslim Family Law Ordinance 1961" as don't want to copy paste . Let say a Muslim man opt for second marriage without the consent of first wife then would this invalidate his second marriage?


http://sciarena.com/J/List/14/iss/Volume 1 2016/Issue 1/6.pdf
http://www.academia.edu/12141726/Islam_and_polygamy

Rest of Muslim countries ? Many Muslim countries have already illegalized polygamy.

And please read the detailed judgement of Federal Shariat Court in this regard (link provided in post#517), The argument that the Muslim Family Ordinance 1961 is un-Islamic has been thoroughly discussed and summarily refuted by none other than the Highest Shariat Court of Pakistan itself.

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Bottom line: She is entitled, backed by Faith.

The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children. What if Husband cannot afford to provide a separate home for his wife at present ?
What is your solution ?

Rest of Muslim countries ? Many Muslim countries have already illegalized polygamy.

And please read the detailed judgement of Federal Shariat Court in this regard (link provided in post#517), The argument that the Muslim Family Ordinance 1961 is un-Islamic has been thoroughly discussed and summarily refuted by no one but the Highest Shariat Court of Pakistan itself.

You also need to read the links which I have posted in previous posts to see where differences exist between classical jurists and modernists?
You did not answer my question
What happen in Pakistan if a Muslim man opt for second marriage without conset of first wife? Would second marriage become invalid?

secondly do Muslim man in Saudia Arbia also need permission from first wife before going for second marriage ?

 

[Divergent]

The wife has the right to live in separate accommodation with her husband and children. What if Husband cannot afford to provide a separate home for his wife at present ?
What is your solution ?


You read the links which I posted to see where differences exist between classical jurists and modernist
You did not answer my question
What happen in Pakistan if a Muslim man opt for second marriage without conset of first wife? Would first marriage become invalid?

secondly do Muslim man in Saudia also need permission from first wife before going for second marriage ?

Look I'm not saying that the Husband should move separately with immediate effect. If he can't afford it then she should be understanding but the intention and effort of trying should still be maintained, a woman doesn't usually complain if there is evidence of her Husband trying, it's when he gets too comfortable and dismisses her needs.

 

[Proudpakistaniguy]

Look I'm not saying that the Husband should move separately with immediate effect. If he can't afford it then she should be understanding but the intention and effort of trying should still be maintained, a woman doesn't usually complain if there is evidence of her Husband trying, it's when he gets too comfortable and dismisses her needs.

Then I don't think anyone would have objection with this here. Point is wife or partner need to be co-operative and considerate . they should realize that they don't own husband and their husband also have responsibilities toward their parent especially when they are alone or in old age . We will also be in that stage when we will depend on others as no one stay young forever . We are stubborn and selfish when we are young but we all learn with time

 

[Verve]

Bottom line: She is entitled, backed by Faith.

By Faith, the in-laws are under no obligation whatsoever towards her either even if they have lots of spare cash.

Imagine if the trend was the husband moving in the girl's parents home after marriage! Is the flip side going to be all pretty if husband rebelled against the house rules?

A lot of men and women would be unmarried or marry very late if the men's parents won't house them after marriage. And parents are under no obligation to provide housing or any kind of support but they do and many take that for granted or as a right. Children have no rights of any kind to the assets made by the parents, not until past death anyways.

So those who take must give back.

As for the man, he's duty bound by Faith to care for his parents. As for separate housing for wife superseding care for parents, ask the Ulemas for a definitive answer since Faith is being used as a merit.

I'm out of this rediculous self praising and glorifying thread.

 

[M. Sarmad]

You also need to read the links which I have posted in previous posts to see where differences exist between classical jurists and modernists?

Bro, no one is denying that differences exist ... Read the detailed judgement given by FSC, and you will get your answers. As ruled by the country's apex Shariat Court, there is absolutely nothing un-Islamic about the Muslim Family Ordinance 1961

You did not answer my question
What happen in Pakistan if a Muslim man opt for second marriage without conset of first wife? Would first marriage become invalid?

I did answer that. Read the previous posts please .. (post#409)

secondly do Muslim man in Saudia also need permission from first wife before going for second marriage ?

Saudia ?? Really ?

 

[Divergent]

By Faith, the in-laws are under no obligation whatsoever towards her either even if they have lots of spare cash.

Imagine if the trend was the husband moving in the girl's parents home after marriage! Is the flip side going to be all pretty if husband rebelled against the house rules?

A lot of men and women would be unmarried or marry very late if the men's parents won't house them after marriage. And parents are under no obligation to provide housing or any kind of support but they do and many take that for granted or as a right. Children have no rights of any kind to the assets made by the parents, not until past death anyways.

So those who take must give back.

As for the man, he's duty bound by Faith to care for his parents. As for separate housing for wife superseding care for parents, ask the Ulemas for a definitive answer since Faith is being used as a merit.

I'm out of this rediculous self praising and glorifying thread.

What bonkers. No one lives off In-laws wealth anyway, when a proposal comes they look at the family background in terms of education and reputation. It's usually the guy who gets asked what he does and if HE can support his wife, not his parents. I've not heard of any girls parents give their daughters hand to a guy who does absolutely nothing even if he came from a stable background because they don't want their daughter supported by his family but by him. Not sure where you're getting all this from?

Nice to know you're imagining the trend of a Husband living with his wife at her parents, now you can also imagine why you'd want your own place with your wife as well as she keeping duty to her parents

No one asked parents to supply housing. Quote me?

 

[Azeem_Ahmed]

The matters regarding saas bahu or married life are beyond me... These are such issues none has resolved till now.... I just know saas bhi eik din bahu thi.... But i will say one thing more that whenever a person if he gets married should have a house or at least one separate room alongwith a double bed...

 

[Verve]

What bonkers. No one lives of In-laws wealth anyway, when a proposal comes they look at the family background in terms of education and reputation. It's usually the guy who gets asked what he does and if HE can support his wife, not his parents. I've not heard of any girls parents give their daughters hand to a guy who does absolutely nothing even if he came from a stable background because they don't want their daughter supported by his family but by him. Not sure where you're getting all this from?

Nice to know you're imagining the trend of a Husband living with his wife at her parents, now you can also imagine why you'd want your own place with your wife as well as she keeping duty to her parents

No one asked parents to supply housing. Quote me?

hahaha .. yeah right that the financial stability of the family doesn't count for anything ... In your la la land.

Financial stability of the family is one of the biggest factors girl's family looks at in Pakistan. We are not talking of UK or any other country!

 

[Divergent]

hahaha .. yeah right that the financial stability of the family doesn't count for anything ... In your la la land.

Financial stability of the family is one of the biggest factors girl's family looks at in Pakistan. We are not talking of UK or any other country!

In hand with and more about what the guy does, how much he is educated, if he is hard working, does he have a good character. Don't act like if none of this was correct they'd still go with 'but his family is wealthy' and hand their daughter over. No.

 

[Azeem_Ahmed]

Bro, no one is denying that differences exist ... Read the detailed judgement given by FSC, and you will get your answers. As ruled by the country's apex Shariat Court, there is absolutely nothing un-Islamic about the Muslim Family Ordinance 1961

It is irony that Rules are made for us by those people who dont know the abc of Rules... As my experience verdict on any issue in light of Islam is asked by such people who does not follow the Islam... One thing more saas bahu issues for resolving are always asked by the unmarried people.... How to grow the Economy of the country matters are being asked by the jobless people.... Agriculture related matters are now resolved by Information Technology professional...We always share our grief with such people who have stone hearts.... what is this happening in Pakistan.... I dont know when the matters or Rules would be made by the concerned quarters...

 

[Hell hound]

@Hell hound ... give some lesson to your team mate please on living expenses in Pakistan! She thinks they are 'very low'

mate i would love to state my opinion from far as i don't want to be the grass in the fight of 2 elephants
all i was saying do whatever you want just don't degrade each for their way of life.calling the guys who like the joint family system mama boys or calling the girls selfish ***** who wants to live alone is plain wrong and that was my only objection.live and let live bro

 

[Ocean]

I see, so let's see what exactly is sexism, based on your definition...

First off your very definition of sexism is sexist because sexism isn't gender specific, so loose the "against the woman" in the definition. A better definition is, 'Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of gender is sexism."

Coming to the arguments that I made...
My argument in that women's only market thread: Feminism and other such egalitarian movements talk about inclusiveness. Gender specificity in spaces is highly disliked, and the same feminists call it sexist. Now you go ahead and open a women's only market, while your an NGO whose about 'women empowerment/ equality' and me calling out your clear hypocrisy ... is sexist?
Secondly, the argument around the thread about the woman murdering her husband because he supposedly raped his daughter in law was: the facts aren't established. The story is literally the narration of the criminal and her point of view hence quite unreliable since she maybe looking to save her own skin. Let the investigation establish the facts before you bad mouth the dead or say "good work" to a criminal.... again ... is that sexist ... ?

In other words, literally calling out sexism (in terms of gender specific establishments) is sexist in of itself in your book, because it was women empowerment groups that were being called out on their hypocrisy. In addition, not believing the words of a criminal without any proper investigation is also sexist because the criminal is a female ...

Yes thanks for reminding me exact definition of sexist. I knew that long time back it was used for any gender. Had not used this word for quite sometime , so had forgotten that it is used for both men and women. So today when you mentioned its roots i checked dictionary definition and this is what i found , it is a pre saved dictionary in my tablet , you have to highlight the word and click define and you get "prejudice, discrimination and stereotyping , typically against women on the basis of gender"

Now how did i lie or did not know correct definition of sexism? And even though i had forgotten the term is used for women too , what difference it made on my usage of it for you? I mean i am seriously not getting your nitpicking? I found you were biased towards other gender so i used the word sexist. Did i use the expression wrongly as per the definition? I mean seriously is this some point to pick on? If i find a women acting biased towards men which i actually i do, i would call them sexist too.

If divergent was sexist i would call her sexist but she is not . I find Manamas comments sexist and hyper feminist , i admit that. I wont shun away from calling a spade a spade.

I had mentioned ngo and rape incident discussions in response to your comment that i am labelling you sexist as a knee jerk reaction and just based on posts in current thread. My point was it was not on the spur of moment i had observed your posts for sometime before calling you that. My intention was not to start discussing seperate market and rape discussions here. I had expected you would reply to the other part of my post which was made in response to your earlier post.

Women only markets and rape news were not the discussions here. And honestly i can comment on them but i think that will be end up being a vicious cycle and a never ending loop. So I will bring the discussion to a pause over here.
Good day sir. Itna socha na karain. Khud bhi khush rahain doosron ko bhi khush rakhain.

 

[Hell hound]

If divergent was sexist i would call her sexist but she is not . I find Manamas comments sexist and hyper feminist , i admit that. I wont shun away from calling a spade a spade.

glad someone else thought the same way.her remarks were very degrading and sexist .

 

[Ocean]

glad someone else thought the same way.her remarks were very degrading and sexist .

Haha you think i am blind. This is the kind of hyper feminism which has ruined "genuine feminism" movements in West.
But speaking of pakistan unfortunately pakistan has not even embarked on a journey of clearing itself off barbaric practices like wani, faislay may dee janay wali larki and so much more.