What makes a good daughter-in-law

[Divergent]

Guys have it the worst because most of us realize the hardships your going through to settle in a new home and getting used to your new life, and we wanna help and be supportive and caring and all that stuff. But the biggest problem is this power struggle between the mother in law and daughter in law, and as a guy, your trying to balance your relationship with your mum and your wifey. One wrong move and it's three days without a word or seven nights on the couch.

Exaggeration much lol. Mother in laws need to give their sons space and honestly us girls aren't here to 'steal your son'. The son still remains a son but he's also a Husband and can carry out his own responsibilities without permission from Mummy.

Girls don't like Mummy's boys much

 

[abdulbarijan]

Exaggeration much lol. Mother in laws need to give their sons space and honestly us girls aren't here to 'steal your son'. The son still remains a son but he's also a Husband and can carry out his own responsibilities

Ofcourse you'll minimize our suffering.. Imagine working all day and coming home to a war that you had no part in instigating, only to have to play the part of the UN by playing the mediator, and if your not good then both the parties will forget the war between themselves and will declare war on you, a masoom, peace loving party that had nothing to do with anything.

But then again, this is how it is. As a man, the wifey is a responsibility and so are the parents. As a husband, you took the responsibility of the gal when you said "I do" and you better be fulfilling it, at the same time you have the responsibility of the parents. My take is, all of the people be it the parents, the wifey and the husband, need to make an effort to live in harmony. It's far too easy to just pin the blame on one party.

Girls don't like Mummy's boys much

You mean the same girls that wear their "Daddy's little girl" T-shirts till they hit their 50's?

 

[Divergent]

Ofcourse you'll minimize our suffering.. Imagine working all day and coming home to a war that you had no part in instigating, only to have to play the part of the UN by playing the mediator, and if your not good then both the parties will forget the war between themselves and will declare war on you, a masoom, peace loving party that had nothing to do with anything.

But then again, this is how it is. As a man, the wifey is a responsibility and so are the parents. As a husband, you took the responsibility of the gal when you said "I do" and you better be fulfilling it, at the same time you have the responsibility of the parents. My take is, all of the people be it the parents, the wifey and the husband, need to make an effort to live in harmony. It's far too easy to just pin the blame on one party.


You mean the same girls that wear their "Daddy's little girl" T-shirts till they hit their 50's?

Girls are like roses treated with love and gentleness at Parents. InShaAllah they be treated the same when they're Married if not more

 

[abdulbarijan]

Girls are like roses treated with love and gentleness at Parents. InShaAllah they be treated the same when they're Married if not more

I don't think most people have a problem with that ... in fact most guys want to be the ones that provide that sort of safe space to their wives, but the wives need to be understanding as well. Demanding nothing but affection, while being selfish when it comes the the husband fulfilling his responsibilities to his parents is something that she should think and be mindful about ...

Calling a guy a"mummy's boy" to sorta shame him ... while he keeps quiet and respects your loving relationship with your dad and brothers ... thats not exactly fair now is it?

 

[Verve]

Guys have it the worst because most of us realize the struggle your going through to settle in a new home and getting used to your new life, and we wanna help and be supportive and caring and all that stuff. But the biggest problem is this power struggle between the mother in law and daughter in law, and as a guy, your trying to balance your relationship with your mum and your wifey. One wrong move and it's three days without a word or seven nights on the couch.

The man is crushed inbetween, punching bag of both sides.

And guess what, the man gets the blame for it all in the end - for the rest of his life!

Damned (in the hereafter) if you do (everything she asks of you) and damned (in this life) if you don't (do everything she asks of you)

 

[Divergent]

The man is crushed inbetween, punching bag of both sides.

And guess what, the man gets the blame for it all in the end - for the rest of his life!

Damned (in the hereafter) if you do (everything she asks of you) and damned (in this life) if you don't (do everything she asks of you)

How do you get damned? Listening to the Mrs is important and good for you lol

 

[Verve]

How do you get damned? Listening to the Mrs is important and good for you lol

Listening and complying are very different.

 

[Divergent]

Listening and complying are very different.

Do both

Happy Wife = Happy Life

Some guys drain the life out off you, are so controlling and possessive.

Where are you going?
Who are you going with?
What are you wearing?
Why didn't you ring me?
You can upload a new pic but not respond to me?

Uff

 

[pak-marine]

Is there a checklist to be a good daughter-in-law? Apparently.

Meera recently appeared as a guest on Aamir Liaquat's Ramazan TV show Game Show Aisay Chalay Ga and the two had a short exchange on whether Meera would make a "good gharaylu daughter-in-law" or not. Meera, up for the challenge, replied, "Certainly."

Watch the video here.

The actor then went on to explain what constitutes a good daughter-in-law.

"I can become a good daughter-in-law by cooking food and by ironing clothes, and washing clothes, praying five times a day, and sending good wishes to people, having babies."

At which point Amir Liaquat cuts off Meera and asks, "Will you sweep the floors?"

And Meera continued with the checklist, "Yes, sweeping floors, keeping the room clean, massaging my husband's feet, looking after the mother-in-law, giving her tea and breakfast in the morning, waking up the father-in-law on time for prayers,,,"

The point of this conversation, as Amir explained, was to find Meera a good husband.

People have often made Meera the butt of their jokes, and Meera often plays along. While this itself is disturbing, we also need to take a step back and evaluate how damaging their joke is in a Pakistani context.

Let's start with the obvious. Meera's answers reinforce the belief many hold in this patriarchal society: that women are here to serve men, more importantly their in-laws. They are bound to look after and carry out duties in order to fulfill the wishes of their husbands — something many in Pakistan are fighting hard to overcome.

While some TV programming is going a long way to deviate from idolising the 'perfect bahu', albeit at snail's pace, these conversations on Ramazan transmissions are taking away from the effort of countless men and women who are still struggling to find equal footing for all genders in our society. The portrayal of a good daughter-in-law as serving only to cater to other people's needs, especially coming from influential individuals like Meera and Aamir Liaquat, undoes a lot of that effort.

Instead of focusing on how to become a 'good daughter-in-law', perhaps, the conversation should be geared towards how to be a good human being.

This year's Ramazan transmissions have left a sour taste in our mouths. We sincerely hope no one is trying to up this one.

https://images.dawn.com/news/117778...ends-the-wrong-message-about-daughters-in-law

Probably Desperate to get married and settle down in this male chauvinistic society..

 

[abdulbarijan]

Do both

Happy Wife = Happy Life

Some guys drain the life out off you, are so controlling and possessive.

Where are you going?
Who are you going with?
What are you wearing?
Why didn't you ring me?
You can upload a new pic but not respond to me?

Uff

Oh please ... most of the time, women don't even know themselves what they want in a man. To borrow a quote from Brian Scott;

"Women want a man who’s smart but not nerdy…
…caring but not needy…
…affectionate but not clingy…
…protective but not possessive…
…emotional but not neurotic…
…funny but not a clown…
…dominant but not domineering…
…in control but not controlling."

"So,again, take notes guys, and remember, all we gotta be is strong but sensitive, tough but tender, masculine but gentle and manly but vulnerable.”

 

[Divergent]

Oh please ... most of the time, women don't even know themselves what they want in a man. To borrow a quote from Brian Scott;

"Women want a man who’s smart but not nerdy…
…caring but not needy…
…affectionate but not clingy…
…protective but not possessive…
…emotional but not neurotic…
…funny but not a clown…
…dominant but not domineering…
…in control but not controlling."

"So,again, take notes guys, and remember, all we gotta be is strong but sensitive, tough but tender, masculine but gentle and manly but vulnerable.”

The bold bit is on point

 

[Well.wisher]

She's stupid . Pagal .
I've seen one woman who's forced to care for her saas for her all life, her husband has married another woman too . Her saas compels her to fare for her and she complains to her husband when she doesn't . She's not allowed to go to markets, she's not allowed to go to her parents, she's not allowed to go to neighbouring friends
I know another woman who's also forced to take care of the saas and her saas oftenly keep complaining about her all the time for her little mishaps . . This is just so sick . I've decided , I'll not live with my future husband's all family , I'll reject his proposal if he forced me to do so . I sometimes think western soceity is a perfect soceity for a woman , our soceity is just so sick and hateful and unbearable .

 

[abdulbarijan]

The bold bit is on point

and we're supposed to be like that ... just imagine if we had this big list of contradicting things we wanted from women ... but no ... we're just good people who aren't as selfish

 

[Divergent]

She's stupid . Pagal .
I've seen one woman who's forced to care for her saas for her all life, her husband has married another woman too . Her saas compels her to fare for her and she complains to her husband when she doesn't . She's not allowed to go to markets, she's not allowed to go to her parents, she's not allowed to go to neighbouring friends
I know another woman who's also forced to take care of the saas and her saas oftenly keep complaining about her all the time for her little mishaps . . This is just so sick . I've decided , I'll not live with my future husband's all family , I'll reject his proposal if he forced me to do so . I sometimes think western soceity is a perfect soceity for a woman , our soceity is just so sick and hateful and unbearable .

I agree. I think joint systems is a bit much. Maybe for a bit but eventually he has to sort out a place for his Wife and kids. She Married HIM. Not his siblings or parents. Yes she should be good to them in behaviour, mannerism and respect them but it is no way obligatory for her to look after them too. It's too much and unfair.

Arab cultures before giving their daughters away ensure the guy has his own place ready. Be it on rent or whatever.

A female should be open to just dress how she wants and not worry about her personal clothing being on display where her father or brother in law are free to roam.

It's is so unfair to expect her to carry so much weight

 

[Well.wisher]

I agree. I think joint systems is a bit much. Maybe for a bit but eventually he has to sort out a place for his Wife and kids. She Married HIM. Not his siblings or parents. Yes she should be good to them in behaviour, mannerism and respect them but it is no way obligatory for her to look after them too. It's too much and unfair.

Arab cultures before giving their daughters away ensure the guy has his own place ready.

A female should be open to just dress how she wants and not worry about her personal clothing being on display where her father or brother in law are free to roam.

It's is so unfair to expect her to carry so much weight

Our people are the most jaahil.on this earth .
Not to mention that why pur nation is being darned by God , it's because of its injustice and corruption to the fellow human beings .