Basically we have learnt that for the Palestinians to attain Western media and human rights legitimacy and sympathy, they need to emulate Israeli tactics and methods according to those rules:
1) That Palestinians are justified in killing Israelis if they knock first on their roofs or if they call them first on their cellphones.
2) Palestinians are justified in shelling Israel provided they declare that their intentions are not to harm civilians.
3) Palestinians will get Western media support if they say that the civilians they may hit in Israel are command and control centers.
4) Palestinians would be justified in killing Israelis if they claim that Israeli terrorists hide behind civilians.
5) That Palestinians need to kill far more of the enemy than they do, so that the actual death ratio becomes like it is now in Gaza: 200 to 0, because the absence of casualties in Israel makes Israel the victim and not vice versa.
6) The Palestinians need to acquire far more advanced weapons because Human Rights Watch has ruled that possessing advanced weapons makes you far superior morally and less able to commit war crimes.
7) Palestinians need to add to their calculations of casualties by adding to their list of victims all those who were “shell-shocked” or who died from illnesses or natural causes during the conflict.
8) Palestinians need to form a lobby to control the US Congress.
9) Palestinians need to be less poor and to have more of their members speak in unaccented American English to make them more friendly to American TV audiences.
10) Palestinians need to somehow convince
The New York Times and
The Washington Post to plaster the pictures and profiles of their victims on their front pages otherwise no one in the US would believe that they are victims.
11) Palestinians need to refer to every Israeli as a terrorist because that makes you the victim – in the case of Israeli terrorists that is.
12) Palestinians need to claim that they are pained by any killing they cause on the other side, and to pretend that anguish makes them less guilty of war crimes. Invoking anguish has made Israeli terrorists sympathetic in US eyes.
13) Palestinians need to convert en masse to Judaism because Islam or even eastern Christianity is not something that Westerners like to identify with.
14) Palestinians need to acquire an air force ASAP and to use it regularly on Israel because that would seem quite impressive in Western eyes.
15) Palestinians need to obtain the support of Micronesia and the Marshall Islands at the UN because those two states really help Israel at the UN and protect it from international condemnation.
16) Palestinians need to declare that the Saudi king is their leader because the Saudi royal family enjoys wide respect in Western capitals.
17) Palestinians need to stop punishing collaborators and agents of Israeli terrorism who provide bombing information to Israeli military because those collaborators and agents are the only Palestinians who are liked by Western media and governments.
18) Palestinians in Gaza need to remind the West – just as Israel does daily – that their government is the only one that is freely elected in the region.
19) Palestinians need to bring out their national orchestra into the streets of Gaza because Aaron David Miller once told me that it is the very existence of the Israeli national orchestra that explains American support for Israel.
20) Palestinians need to label every one of their victims as a Mossad-affiliated terrorist or Mossad terrorists. These labeling tricks work wonders for Israel.
21) Palestinians need to show the world that there are Palestinians who drink whiskey: that seems to impress the hell out of American correspondents. They are not accustomed to seeing Arabs drink whiskey.
22) Palestinians need to call any attack on their cause racist and anti-Arab, just as Israel considers any criticisms of its policies and war crimes anti-Semitic.
23) Palestinians need to appoint Abraham Foxman as their representative in Washington, DC. For some bizarre reason, US media considers him the authority on the Palestinian national movement.
What do Palestinians need to do to get Western media sympathy? | Al Akhbar English
