No desi?
Nope - never been out with a total desi, so don't know how to deal with the little nuances of a relationship.
For example, I know the answers to the following without using one neuron:
1. Darling do I look a little bit chubby? HELL NO BABE
2. Am I eating too much? YOU DONT SHOW A BIT
3. My as* shows too big in this dress! YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!
4. Your parents don't like a foreigner! DONT BE RIDICULOUS, THEY ADORE YOU!
5. I'm such a mess! NO WAY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PERSON MORE ORGANIZED
6. Aren't those shoes so cute? MEANS LETS BUY THEM RIGHT NOW
7. That bag is so functional! BUY IT, DONT ASK JUST DO IT + GET MATCHING SHOES!
On top of all of the above, do yourself a favor and keep an organizer or use the calendar function on your OSX and let it auto-sync with all mobile devices: NEVER EVER FORGET ANY BIRTHDAY / ANNIVERSARY / DOGS APPOINTMENT ETC ETC
Now someone with experience kindly post the desi version of something similar!