There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani parenting style in the diaspora

[Great Janjua]

Dont know why you think calling someone paindu is offensive clearly you seem to be very uneducated ya crackhead and why is your boyfriend bringing up a personal issue on a defence forum clearly no one gives a **** if he uppercut his grandad for slapping to the right path grow up bois plus no one on this forum is retarded enough to bitch about a slap they received from their grandad so if you wanna cuddle together and help each other through this absolutely diabolical phase (which it is clearly not) then **** off from this forum

@OsmanAli98 I think, I understand your problem,
You do not want to join your father in his business etc. and on the other hand struggling on your own. when your father sees you in this situation and on top of that your unwillingness to join/takeover what he build with is hard work....he goes out of control.

He just want to see you takeover from him (under his supervision) and carry his business stuff to new heights, but he sees no hope and he is worried about your and his things future after he dies.

try to make a some sort of deal with him, show some interest with him and continue working on your dreams as well.

use your abilities smartly and try to manage both side.

you are still living with your father but its always a war like situation. you can little compromise and make both parties happy or move out and prove yourself and become better then him within his life time.

Show him, you do not need him, his money, his business, is roof etc. and more importantly his stupid nagging and advice.

once he sees you successful and better than him, he will will be a different person. fathers needs to their sons/daughter doing better then him and feel proud.

if situations presented are not similar to yours, do not take it to heart, just general advises/ suggestions.


I am educated and have all the media and Internet to know what is best, all this was made available to me by my Paindo dumb stupid parents. I do not need and old paindo person telling them what to do. I born, grew up and reach to this stage on my own, whatever parents did for me that was their responsibility, I have none, I can do whatever and however I want. When my children grow up I want them to be more aqalmand than me and treat me as upgraded version of how I treat my parents.

 

[undercover JIX]

Come on buddy, don’t at least say that for your parents regardless of what has been done.

it might make some young people realize something they do not want to. reality and truth is very bitter, we like to see selfishly one side of the picture only.

just imagine if parents were selfish as well and did not provide everything latest for us and whatever we asked for, after sacrificing their needs, wishes, liking for themselves, where we will be. might be same paindo ..... parents wanted to see us better then them and they did and doing whatever they can do.

I was role playing.....

Dont know why you think calling someone paindu is offensive clearly you seem to be very uneducated ya crackhead and why is your boyfriend bringing up a personal issue on a defence forum clearly no one gives a **** if he uppercut his grandad for slapping to the right path grow up bois plus no one on this forum is retarded enough to bitch about a slap they received from their grandad so if you wanna cuddle together and help each other through this absolutely diabolical phase (which it is clearly not) then **** off from this forum

I was being sarcastic in second part of my post. pretending like one of roshan azad khayal nau jawan. this is how they behave.

I always call myself jahil pando..people might remember....nothing wrong with being paindo.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

There is nothing more wrong or less wrong in Pakistani diaspora parents then their country of origin. One look at the state of Pakistan shows the mess the country is in. Deviant crimes, peadophilia, corrupt to the core, lazy, filthy habits and amoral culture produces the mess we call Pakistan. So one look at Pakistan demolishes the notion the parents in Pakistan produce better generation.

If they were good at parenting they would lay the seeds of a generation that would turn Pakistan into envy of the world.

 

[Flash_Ninja]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani Parenting in the diaspora I know its taboo topic because being that Pakistan is a 98 percent Islamic country and very conservative one the respect of elders and parents in general is taken highly I am not against that but I think a good chuck of the elders and parents from our background misuse that responsibility,example its very common from a early age to abuse kids verbally and physically anytime a child wants to fight back or counter their relatives or friends automatically put blame on the child even when the parents are the culprit of abuse this continues even further into adulthood,also I think most Pakistani elders no offense are low key racist or prejudice towards other Muslims heck even fellow Pakistani Muslims from different ethnicity or group even if follow all the rules and you cause no ruckus abuse continues this is taking for granted it's no wonder 2nd gen or 3rd gen folks are self hating and dont want to identify with anything Pakistani

I didnt really get alot of physical abuse, but the whole tough upbringing act im sure comes from a place of love. In rural Pakistan if you're too soft your not going to make it tbh.

Also maybe its different in America but in the UK its not that 2nd+ gen dont want to identify with Pakistan, its more they are agnostic/athiest and dont want to identify with Islam and sometimes that sadly means dropping the Pakistan label whenevers convenient.

There is nothing more wrong or less wrong in Pakistani diaspora parents then their country of origin. One look at the state of Pakistan shows the mess the country is in. Deviant crimes, peadophilia, corrupt to the core, lazy, filthy habits and amoral culture produces the mess we call Pakistan. So one look at Pakistan demolishes the notion the parents in Pakistan produce better generation.

If they were good at parenting they would lay the seeds of a generation that would turn Pakistan into envy of the world.

Is that the fault of the people, or the fault of the conditions that are present (Illiteracy, poverty, unemployment, segregation, etc.)?

 

[Indus Pakistan]

fault of the people

Fault of the people. Prosperity, literacy, law/order etc don't fall from the skies. The real resource of any country are the people. Germany was wiped out in 1945. Not a single town was left unscathed. 5 million Germans were dead. Yet within 10 years the entire country was rebuilt and German industry became global leader. Where did all that come from. Das Volk.

Let's play a hypothetical. All British people were teleported to Pakistan. All Pakistani's were teleported top UK. What would happen afteer 20 years?

 

[Valar.]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani parenting style both in Pakistan and abroad.

Confidence
For some unknown reasons or fear, Pakistani parents discourage confidence building among their kids.

Sports
Discouragement of most or almost all sports by Parents. Some due to fear of injuries while others due to dislike especially when it comes to daughters.

Education
Forcing kids to study some specific subjects whether they like them or not.

Diet
For some unknown reason whatever stupid imbalanced diet they had is also good and Mandatory for their kids too.

Marriage
Never allowing their kids to choose their own life partners.

Joint Family System
Joint family system is good but grown up kids need to be independent and learn to live on their own. And that's something which many parents don't allow especially for girls.

Part Time Jobs
For some reasons, may be due to classism, parents discourage their kids to have any part time jobs.

 

[xyxmt]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani Parenting in the diaspora I know its taboo topic because being that Pakistan is a 98 percent Islamic country and very conservative one the respect of elders and parents in general is taken highly I am not against that but I think a good chuck of the elders and parents from our background misuse that responsibility,example its very common from a early age to abuse kids verbally and physically anytime a child wants to fight back or counter their relatives or friends automatically put blame on the child even when the parents are the culprit of abuse this continues even further into adulthood,also I think most Pakistani elders no offense are low key racist or prejudice towards other Muslims heck even fellow Pakistani Muslims from different ethnicity or group even if follow all the rules and you cause no ruckus abuse continues this is taking for granted it's no wonder 2nd gen or 3rd gen folks are self hating and dont want to identify with anything Pakistani

talk to your white colleagues who are in 50s 60s and they will tell you that they were treated the same way, back then it was acceptable to hit you child. Even in Pakistan now its considered bad to hit your child.

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani parenting style both in Pakistan and abroad.

Confidence
For some unknown reasons or fear, Pakistani parents discourage confidence building among their kids.

Sports
Discouragement of most or almost all sports by Parents. Some due to fear of injuries while others due to dislike especially when it comes to daughters.

Education
Forcing kids to study some specific subjects whether they like them or not.

Diet
For some unknown reason whatever stupid imbalanced diet they had is also good and Mandatory for their kids too.

Marriage
Never allowing their kids to choose their own life partners.

Joint Family System
Joint family system is good but grown up kids need to be independent and learn to live on their own. And that's something which many parents don't allow especially for girls.

Part Time Jobs
For some reasons, may be due to classism, parents discourage their kids to have any part time jobs.

I don't know which Pakistani parents are you talking about. My kids are grown up and almost everyone I know which is quite a large group...and non of the things you mentioned apply to them.

 

[Flash_Ninja]

Fault of the people. Prosperity, literacy, law/order etc don't fall from the skies. The real resource of any country are the people. Germany was wiped out in 1945. Not a single town was left unscathed. 5 million Germans were dead. Yet within 10 years the entire country was rebuilt and German industry became global leader. Where did all that come from. Das Volk.

Let's play a hypothetical. All British people were teleported to Pakistan. All Pakistani's were teleported top UK. What would happen afteer 20 years?

Dont forget the Germany were literally divided between superpowers and had the entire industrial backing of their respective blocs. Look at African and S.American nations ravaged by war, they are still suffering for it because they dont have powerful backers who have a stake in their land.

As for the hypothetical its hard to say, if Pakistan had the wealth and infrastructure the UK does then I think in 20 years Pakistan would be lightyears ahead. Yes Pakistan has its bad apples, but almost every societal problem leads back to the issue of poverty, lack of education, and lack of oppurtunity.

Give those things to Pakistan, and just like the western world a century ago the culture will begin to shift.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

had the entire industrial backing of their respective blocs

You seem to think being bombed to stone age, divided, occupied is recipe for success. And may I ask how did the Germans become the industrial and military power in the first place?

Pakistan had the wealth and infrastructure the UK

Who gave it the infra and wealth. Yep those goras you see walking around. They built it, they worked it and they ordered it. Again. Fact. Wealth/infra does not fall from the sky. It is product of people's brain and brawn.

 

[Kamikaze Pilot]

Let's play a hypothetical. All British people were teleported to Pakistan. All Pakistani's were teleported top UK. What would happen afteer 20 years?

20 years is too short a period for anything noticeable to happen in this context.

 

[Pakhtoon yum]

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani Parenting in the diaspora I know its taboo topic because being that Pakistan is a 98 percent Islamic country and very conservative one the respect of elders and parents in general is taken highly I am not against that but I think a good chuck of the elders and parents from our background misuse that responsibility,example its very common from a early age to abuse kids verbally and physically anytime a child wants to fight back or counter their relatives or friends automatically put blame on the child even when the parents are the culprit of abuse this continues even further into adulthood,also I think most Pakistani elders no offense are low key racist or prejudice towards other Muslims heck even fellow Pakistani Muslims from different ethnicity or group even if follow all the rules and you cause no ruckus abuse continues this is taking for granted it's no wonder 2nd gen or 3rd gen folks are self hating and dont want to identify with anything Pakistani

Do what I do and fight back. Also it's best to have knowledge about your own religion, culture and heritage. If they say something abt then try to use any of those cards. I revert them and put it as it is. They cant say anything else afterwards, but I've had no issues with my parents thus far. Occasional minor arguments do happen like with every healthy family but that's pretty much it.


Just know your culture, tradition and religion. So you can correct anyone that is incorrect or is using it the wrong way.

You seem to think being bombed to stone age, divided, occupied is recipe for success. And may I ask how did the Germans become the industrial and military power in the first place?

Who gave it the infra and wealth. Yep those goras you see walking around. They built it, they worked it and they ordered it. Again. Fact. Wealth/infra does not fall from the sky. It is product of people's brain and brawn.

Yes they built it from looting 70% of the rest of the planet. All the gold, diamonds, free labour, food, raw materials and so on. Should I keep going?

Let pakistan loot the world for the same amount of time and it will be far more modren and developed then the UK.

Dont forget the Germany were literally divided between superpowers and had the entire industrial backing of their respective blocs. Look at African and S.American nations ravaged by war, they are still suffering for it because they dont have powerful backers who have a stake in their land.

As for the hypothetical its hard to say, if Pakistan had the wealth and infrastructure the UK does then I think in 20 years Pakistan would be lightyears ahead. Yes Pakistan has its bad apples, but almost every societal problem leads back to the issue of poverty, lack of education, and lack of oppurtunity.

Give those things to Pakistan, and just like the western world a century ago the culture will begin to shift.

They dont like to share this but this is fact. When the allies occupied Germany the fighting didnt end. It became like afganistan with the local population fighting the occupational forces. To gtfo of there and show the domestic public that a victory had been achieved. The allies installed a puppet government and supported any and all economic build up. So you are right when you say Germany after the war is not the same as an African country after decades of war or colonization.

You seem to think being bombed to stone age, divided, occupied is recipe for success. And may I ask how did the Germans become the industrial and military power in the first place?
.

With continuous war against its neighbors and colonization. You do need to get some reading done.

There is something fundamentally wrong with Pakistani parenting style both in Pakistan and abroad.

Confidence
For some unknown reasons or fear, Pakistani parents discourage confidence building among their kids.

Sports
Discouragement of most or almost all sports by Parents. Some due to fear of injuries while others due to dislike especially when it comes to daughters.

Education
Forcing kids to study some specific subjects whether they like them or not.

Diet
For some unknown reason whatever stupid imbalanced diet they had is also good and Mandatory for their kids too.

Marriage
Never allowing their kids to choose their own life partners.

Joint Family System
Joint family system is good but grown up kids need to be independent and learn to live on their own. And that's something which many parents don't allow especially for girls.

Part Time Jobs
For some reasons, may be due to classism, parents discourage their kids to have any part time jobs.

For me it's not at all like that. I was encouraged to take part in sports, part time jobs, even supported my craziness with weight training when I was younger. Also if I showed any lack of confidence they would scold me afterwards for letting things get to me. So it really does just depends on your parents. A generation isnt going to get anyone, anywhere.

 

[Indus Pakistan]

Yes they built it from looting 70% of the rest of the planet.

Germans?

 

[Old School]

Diaspora is nothing but an extension of the mainland population. Fix the mainland and the diaspora will follow suits.

 

[Pakhtoon yum]

Germans?

Brits.

 

[Flash_Ninja]

You seem to think being bombed to stone age, divided, occupied is recipe for success. And may I ask how did the Germans become the industrial and military power in the first place?

Who gave it the infra and wealth. Yep those goras you see walking around. They built it, they worked it and they ordered it. Again. Fact. Wealth/infra does not fall from the sky. It is product of people's brain and brawn.

They urbanised and went through an industrial revolution as did most of europe at the same time. They also already had a good education system, living standards, and skilled labour force, in place built over a long time before they industrialised.