Suresh Kalmadi Ke Jokes Vala Thread

[IndianArmy]

Security is Beefed Up for CWG, the A line Security Mosquitoes are On there Way after there successful Rampage against the Top maoist Leader Who died of Dengue recently... CMG cheif Had Invited them to keep the terrorists off the Venues

 

[Cityboy]

"A collapse a day keeps the athletes away, Kalmadi mantra.

 

[Cityboy]

Kalmadi calling himself a sports lover is like Shiney Ahuja declaring himself to be a feminist,

 

[Novice09]

Subhasish Das (@Bhuto) tweeted, “(Not) Being able to take a CWG joke is the new patriotism test.”

 

[Novice09]

"A collapse a day, keeps the athletes away"

By this India can jump to the top of medal list ......

 

[Cityboy]

New Delhi.Thousands of people came out of their homes and the closet to join a pride parade at Jantar Mantar here today. ¡°It¡¯s not gay to be a Kalmadi¡± was the loud and clear message of the parade that was called by some community leaders after they were fed up with unending allegationsof corruption in the Commonwealth Gamesorganizing committee, headed by Suresh Kalmadi, a Kalmadi.Some protestors in the pride parade had decorated themselves to drive home the point that Suresh Kalmadi too had decorated New Delhi in an equally aesthetic manner¡°Media is building up an atmosphere where it appears that being a Kalmadi in itself is such a crime!¡± protested Mahesh Kalmadi, riding a modified bike crafted as a lion resemblingShera, the mascot for the 2010 Commonwealth Games.¡°We Kalmadis are normal people. No different from any Raja, Raju, Reddy, Yadav, Pawar, Gandhi, Mehta, Parekh, Pathak, Modi, Singh, Soren, etc.¡± claimed another protestor wearing a colorful mask.¡°Proud to be a Kalmadi!¡± screamed yet another protestor, even as various leaders termed the protest march as another protestor, even as various leaders termed the protest march as NationalPrideParade, because not everyone who came out in support was necessarily a Kalmadi.¡°I am not a Kalmadi, but I¡¯ve come out to support these people as our constitution guarantees right to equality and freedom to practice one¡¯s beliefs to everyone.¡± said Krishna Aiyar, a member of the pride parade, who argued that Suresh Kalmadi should not be shamed just because his beliefs regardingpricesof goods like treadmills or toilet-papers were different from the rest of the society.

 

[Cityboy]

recent Bulk SMS ban was for preventing prople forwarding 'Kalmadijokes'. …

 

[Novice09]

Common Wealth Games

For politicians :
Come on, Wealth Games (earn more and more money (black))

 

[marcos98]

Thousands come out to take part in Kalmadi pride parade

Thousands come out to take part in Kalmadi pride parade | Faking News

Thousands of people came out of their homes and the closet to join a pride parade at Jantar Mantar here today. “It’s not gay to be a Kalmadi” was the loud and clear message of the parade that was called by some community leaders after they were fed up with unending allegations of corruption in the Commonwealth Games organizing committee, headed by Suresh Kalmadi, a Kalmadi.

“Media is building up an atmosphere where it appears that being a Kalmadi in itself is such a crime!” protested Mahesh Kalmadi, riding a modified bike crafted as a lion resembling Shera, the mascot for the 2010 Commonwealth Games.

“We Kalmadis are normal people. No different from any Raja, Raju, Reddy, Yadav, Pawar, Gandhi, Mehta, Parekh, Pathak, Modi, Singh, Soren, etc.” claimed another protestor wearing a colorful mask.

“Proud to be a Kalmadi!” screamed yet another protestor, even as various leaders termed the protest march as National Pride Parade, because not everyone who came out in support was necessarily a Kalmadi.

“I am not a Kalmadi, but I’ve come out to support these people as our constitution guarantees right to equality and freedom to practice one’s beliefs to everyone.” said Krishna Aiyar, a member of the pride parade, who argued that Suresh Kalmadi should not be shamed just because his beliefs regarding prices of goods like treadmills or toilet-papers were different from the rest of the society.

Protestors complained that the society was getting increasingly prejudiced and cold towards Kalmadis due to the sustained and vicious campaign against Suresh Kalmadi by the Indian media.

“Even children have started thinking ill of Kalmadis, and this is very dangerous for the unity of our society.” complained a protestor Subrat from Chandigarh, who informed that some young students in a local government school back in his city had duped their school of various sporting equipments by playing a hitherto unknown game called ‘kalmadi-kalmadi’.

“Those guys had approached the school Principal with an application saying they needed some equipments from the storeroom to play ‘kabaddi-kabaddi’. Principal agreed because he thought at best it was a chalk or a rope they needed, but later found out to his horror that three sets of cricket gear, thirteen hockey sticks and nine tennis racquets were missing from the storeroom the next day.” Subrat recounted the story.

“When the Principal re-checked their application, he discovered that the guys had tampered the original document by stealthily replacing the phrase ‘kabaddi-kabaddi’ with ‘kalmadi-kalmadi’.” revealed Subrat.

“And guess what, Principal thinks he can’t do anything now! This is the kind of prejudice and misinformation media has spread.” protested Subrat, calling for people from every part of the country to take part in the Kalmadi pride parade.

 

[marcos98]

 

[Water Car Engineer]

Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing thanx to Kalmadi. .unlivable conditions and fear for their safety

damn good one!!

 

[third eye]

KALMADI ATTEMPTS SUICIDE
New Delhi, Sept 27.

Head of the Commonwealth Games Organising Committee (OC) Suresh Kalmadi (56) attempted suicide by hanging in a toilet in the Games Village today.

However, the ceiling collapsed, taking with it a part of the wall. The incident happened at 1.23 p.m.

The suicide attempt came to light when an unnamed Games official, who was answering the call of nature on the other side of the wall, unexpectedly found himself spraying the inside of a toilet rather than the outside.

Mr Kalmadi, it is reported, suffered a few minor scratches and has been discharged after first aid.

Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit dismissed the matter as a 'minor glitch' and said that it would have no effect on the success of the Games. She pointed out that while the said toilet was inside the Games village, it was not meant for athletes.

The Urban Development Minister, Mr Jaipal Reddy, refused to react to media reports, saying only that such incidents are 'part and parcel' of any big sporting event.

The Sports Minister, MS Gill, refused to take responsibility, saying that the PWD department was in charge of the construction of the Games village and that his ministry has nothing to do with false ceilings.

Mani Shankar Aiyar, MP, a long-time critic of the Games, held the rain gods responsible for the collapse of the ceiling. However, he was at pains to empahsise that he had not prayed to the said god.

Commonwealth Games Federation chief Michael Fennell said this would not have happened if his warnings of nine months ago had been heeded. When asked if he held Mr Kalmadi responsible for the lapse, he refused to comment.

A foreign official, on condition of anonymity, wondered in a lighter vein why Kalmadi sought to hang himself in a toilet. 'They're ******', he said.

The Cabinet Secretary, KM Chandrasekhar, said that it is everybody's national duty to see that such mishaps do not happen in the future. 'We must all work together to see that India is not put to embarrassment.' He said that a number of steps had been taken to improve the condition and that authorities are 'on top of the situation'.

Principal Secretary to the PM, TAK Nair, who is also part of the high-powered committee mandated to oversee the smooth functioning of the Games, said that the government will take action and any wrongdoing, if detected, will not go unpunished.

Congress Party Spokesperson Manish Tiwari refused to comment, saying that Mr Kalmadi was there in his personal capacity, and not as a Congress MP. Leader of the Opposition Sushma Swaraj said that this is a matter of national shame and would never have happened under the NDA regime. Chief Minister of Gujarat Narendra Modi congratulated Kalmadi on his narrow escape and wished for his speedy recovery.

Mr Kalmadi was unavailable for comments. His close aide, and spokesperson for the OC, Lalit Bhanot, took over the job to defend the OC and reiterated that these Games would be better than the Beijing Olympics.

Unconfirmed media reports have it that Mr Kalmadi has submitted a dry cleaning bill to get his somewhat wet and stained white kurta-pyjama spotless clean and dry in time for the opening. While the amount is a subject of media speculation, it is rumoured that the bill runs into six figures.